You’re dying to let loose and say what you really think but the words aren’t pretty so you’re biting your tongue. Whatever it is – you don’t say it. Because if you do – you can’t take it back. And you know that fighting fair is a sort of winning, in and of itself. Fighting […]
The Nature of Obligation to Yourself (And Your Spouse)
I have marriage on my mind this week. Or more specifically – what makes it work, what causes it to crumble, and what increases the likelihood that any committed relationship will thrive. I have the nature of obligation on my mind as well: what we owe ourselves when it comes to who we are and […]
The FAT Issue
In 1978, a book hit the market that continues to be discussed from time to time, and I wish we were discussing it more often. “Fat Is a Feminist Issue” was written by Susie Orbach, and it’s still relevant today. Possibly, more than ever. My mother was obese, which is defined as 20% over normal […]
Missing the Marital Mark
Success, failure, and musing on marriage.
Do You Like Sex?
The importance and frequency of sex. To each his (and her) own.
Relationship Approach: Strategy or Serendipity?
He shows up with a dizzying armload of flowers, and behind them – his mischievous smile I’ve come to adore, the one that lightens everything that crazies me, the one that makes me want to drop whatever I’m holding as I take his face in my hands and kiss him, then kiss him again, and […]
Bad Girls, Good Guys
The Bad Girl? The Bad Boy? Sexual bait-and-switch to get the brass (wedding) ring?
Bickering
It’s not that I expect all of us to play nice all of the time. But men and women really can get along if they try. And married people? Isn’t that the idea? I was watching the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills premiere, and I’ll take Lisa Vanderpump’s approach to marital maneuvering over the constancy […]
If Your Partner Says One Thing, Do You Hear Something Else?
The intricacies of communication in relationships.
All That Heaven Allows
“What people say matters terribly,” her friend insists, trying to get the 40-something widow played by Jane Wyman to give up her love affair with a hunky younger man, none other than Rock Hudson. She is a well-heeled woman with her place in society. He is the son of a gardener. Of course, we […]