When midlife begins to grind you up and spit you out…
The Testosterone Tumble
Here’s a provocative piece of news that came out earlier this week and gives me pause – and not applause. Apparently, testosterone plunges in men who actively exercise Daddy duties. Say what? The New York Times offers its interpretation of this (disturbing?) data on maleness and fatherhood, and a “politically correct” spin which I find […]
Safe Crossing
I once felt safe in the deepest caverns of my body. I was strong, I was agile, I was in possession of endless stamina. I felt the immortality of youth, as do we all. I once felt safe in a place called Marriage. I was misguided in my choices and my beliefs, and now the […]
Where The Boys Are
It’s not that empty nest doesn’t have its advantages; it does. I worked on my monthly budget last evening. The straight-off-the-top out-of-pocket expenses that I can now eliminate are significant. Very significant. Which makes it crystal clear that the estimates of $1,000/month per child (to raise them) are – or were – very low, in […]
Another Day, Another Kid?
For a moment I actually considered it. Scratch that. For five moments I considered it. I admit I’d spent the day in a perpetual state of “weepy,” particularly since I unearthed a stack of Polaroids of my younger son from a decade ago. Cue the eye leakage. The occasional heaving sob. More eye leakage. Then […]
Five Accomplishments, No Medals, Parenting Ourselves
I’ve been scrounging in my son’s room for vestiges of dirty clothes – hardly an exciting task, but a must – lest hidden stinky socks unleash insidious effects while he is away at school. There was plenty to discover – a t-shirt here, a towel there, tennis shorts in the strangest places. And yes, more […]
Piano Bar
Big blue eyes. Black brows, penciled in, and thin. Translucent skin, dark hair pulled back from the face, and just the slightest hint of age around the neck, that softening of skin that immediately signals four decades behind or possibly five, and still, her beauty is unmistakable. She is simultaneously subdued and friendly though some […]
Naked Parent People Seen Dancing On Suburban Streets
The toilet seats are down, as they should be. Then again, I don’t care. Never did. I have few constraints in my space; I suppose I should be dancing naked through my house, or behind it, or even on the quiet street where it’s rare to see anyone except on Saturday when lawns are mowed […]
Criss-Cross
“You’re where?” “Austin,” he says. I’m 1,000 miles from home with the headache from hell. I’m holding back a flood of tears over my younger son who is spending his first night in the dorm. In a new part of the country. In a new life. He’s fine, I know. But I’m a mess.
Looking Ahead to Goodbye
The realization that we are sending our kids off to college. Saying our goodbyes, tenderly.