I don’t want to write today. I don’t want to read, to research, to converse, to put on a happy face. I don’t want to shower and dress. I don’t want to pace my rooms, to walk my neighborhood, to clean another goddamn pile, to open the door to the fridge and slam it shut, […]
Safe Crossing
I once felt safe in the deepest caverns of my body. I was strong, I was agile, I was in possession of endless stamina. I felt the immortality of youth, as do we all. I once felt safe in a place called Marriage. I was misguided in my choices and my beliefs, and now the […]
Where The Boys Are
It’s not that empty nest doesn’t have its advantages; it does. I worked on my monthly budget last evening. The straight-off-the-top out-of-pocket expenses that I can now eliminate are significant. Very significant. Which makes it crystal clear that the estimates of $1,000/month per child (to raise them) are – or were – very low, in […]
Pausing At The Light
It takes planning, and a willingness to run the risk of inconvenience if the traffic patterns are off, or my back starts acting up. But a trip to the Farmer’s Market for all that food, glorious food? For the sensual pleasure of an abundance of organically raised produce, not to mention grass-fed beef and wild-caught […]
Another Day, Another Kid?
For a moment I actually considered it. Scratch that. For five moments I considered it. I admit I’d spent the day in a perpetual state of “weepy,” particularly since I unearthed a stack of Polaroids of my younger son from a decade ago. Cue the eye leakage. The occasional heaving sob. More eye leakage. Then […]
Naked Parent People Seen Dancing On Suburban Streets
The toilet seats are down, as they should be. Then again, I don’t care. Never did. I have few constraints in my space; I suppose I should be dancing naked through my house, or behind it, or even on the quiet street where it’s rare to see anyone except on Saturday when lawns are mowed […]
Criss-Cross
“You’re where?” “Austin,” he says. I’m 1,000 miles from home with the headache from hell. I’m holding back a flood of tears over my younger son who is spending his first night in the dorm. In a new part of the country. In a new life. He’s fine, I know. But I’m a mess.
Looking Ahead to Goodbye
The realization that we are sending our kids off to college. Saying our goodbyes, tenderly.
Theory of Relativity
As the school year comes to a close (almost there!), I can’t help but look back, question what I might have done differently, assess the coming months, and anticipate – with worry, and wonder. My summer looms with increased expenses at a time I can ill afford them. It also entails expectations as I find […]
Sentimental Fool
These days I travel with wads of Kleenex at the ready. Or toilet paper. Or napkins. I’m tearing up at the drop of a hat. Misty over big things, like my son’s scholarship to college. Over small things, like an innocuous remark. A photograph may set off a chain reaction – recollections of my boys […]