Oprah Winfrey, speaking on behalf of Weight Watchers, appears on my screen for at least the 20th time. “Let’s make 2016 the year of our best bodies,” she says, or something to that effect.
Now don’t get me wrong. I adore Oprah. She’s a game changer. An inspiration. And yes, she now owns a 10% stake in Weight Watchers, which, incidentally, is one of the diet programs I’ve used over the years, and one that has worked for me.
But…
Each time Oprah says these words — “let’s make this the year of our best bodies” — I cringe.
No, it’s worse than that. My admiration for Oprah takes a hit.
Is this the same Oprah who exerts enormous cultural influence, Oprah with her $3 billion, Oprah who can surround herself with the best in personal trainers and nutritionists and chefs, Oprah who can change lives with the selection of a book (or the support of a presidential candidate), Oprah who builds schools for girls in South Africa to encourage leadership skills?
It’s the vulnerable spot, the soft underbelly of a lifetime of hurt, the fact that this commercial hits its target with these opening words: “Inside each overweight woman is a woman she knows she can be.” How cleverly they strike us inside the fat woman’s heart of hearts, behind her brave face and bright smile, beyond her self-deprecating jokes, her bingeing, her starving, her fists beating on her belly at 14 and at 24 and possibly, still, at 44, only to drop her arms at her sides with a weary sigh ten years later, staring into a mirror, lost in ‘if only.’
The fat woman is never enough; the woman who sees herself as fat is never enough; the woman who lives in fear of fat is never enough; every woman, at some point, is likely to feel that she is not enough based on her appearance.
The Message Hurts; the Message Works
Oprah’s words set off a chain reaction of negative emotions, rippling through decades of body memory, decades of self-inflicted deprivation, decades of hopefulness for a “happy life” based on a dress size, a myth, a perpetually moving target, a false god.
A false god and its $64 billion industry.
Despite that seemingly supersized figure, as Fortune tells us, it’s lean times for the diet industry, with Americans more focused on eating healthier rather than dieting. That should be good news, don’t you think?
Although a third of us are obese, the Fortune article reports:
… more and more people are focused on health first—and calories second. The percentage of women reporting they are on a diet has dropped 13 points over the past two decades, according to research firm NPD Group.
The result: crimped revenues for companies in the business of helping people lose weight. Market leader Weight Watchers has reported sales declines for two consecutive years and is projecting a weak 2015.
Bingo.
Fat, Thin, Worthy, Unworthy
I can’t help but wish that Oprah’s considerable social conscience and financial power had turned its focus on Big Food and GMOs. I can’t help but wish she had taken aim at the monumental challenges of education and access, when it comes to eating healthier foods and finding them, affordably, in a market nearby. I can’t help but wish that Oprah had offered up a message that we are more than good enough, whatever our body size if we are healthy. And no, that doesn’t mean obese.
I know what it is to be fat. I know what it is to be thin. I know what it is to be comfortable at a particular size and uncomfortable when I’m larger. I know how I am viewed when I’m not fat, and how I’m viewed when I am. I know when I’m healthy. I also know that I wish to hell that I could finally stop worrying about my weight, and it is disappointing to see a powerhouse like Oprah, at age 61, regardless of her financial stake in the well-known company, reinforcing old pain that is too easily refreshed.
How many of us have spent 20 years, 30 years, 40 years or more concerned with how our bodies look, rather than how we use them?
And let’s remember that mature and older women are not immune to disordered eating. National Eating Disorders addresses the issue in women over 50 with statistics that are alarming, but not surprising:
… there is no age limitation to disordered eating…. [survey data shows] eating disorder symptoms in 13% of women 50 and above over the past five years, with over 70% reporting they were attempting to lose weight… 62% of women felt their weight or shape had a negative impact on their life.
Our Best Bodies Are Healthy Bodies
Sure, we all love to look at beautiful bodies, however we may define that beauty. But my best body is one that functions, one that houses my curiosity, my kindness, my sexuality, my passion for life. My best body is one that will carry me into a meaningful future, even from this perch in middle age. My best body is one that allows me to get around without pain, without disease, without fists, literal or metaphorical, pounding into my own flesh. I am hardly in need of Oprah’s one-two punch, delivered with such predictable precision.
Liz Black at Refinery29 sums things up nicely:
How could someone as accomplished as Oprah still think that she was not all the woman she could be simply because she’s overweight?… Instead of preying on viewers’ damaged body image… implying that being fat prevents you from succeeding at life, Oprah should have highlighted how important it is to take care of ourselves, body and mind, and how Weight Watchers’ program could play a role in that. … If someone like Oprah still can’t see past her size, what hope do the rest of us mere mortals have?
Yet it’s the repetition of these commercials that is really driving home the point that this feels, somehow, like a betrayal. There’s something blatantly disingenuous about this message, and also profoundly sad.
Besides, I feel badly for thinking ill of Oprah. But I’d like this to be the year of my healthiest body. I’d like this to be the year of our “collective” best role models for women, for women of color, for middle aged women and men, and for others I believe could do with more champions for what matters — champions who resemble them, who understand them, who can lead the charge.
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Thank you so much for this. As I have said many times here, in France you are barely even a woman if you are overweight (sliding more into the thing category) and it is really hard to stay balanced in my head. Do I want to be healthier? Yes, for myself but being thinner doesn’t have anything to do with being my “best” me.
Right on!
I have to admit I am not a perfect weight. I managed to get close to what I feel was perfect about 5 years ago. I could not keep up the activity necessary to maintain that weight. I am, though, finally, happy with my body. I find the Oprah ads to just be fluff and tune them out like i do most advertisements. While she only had a small percentage ownership, she is just selling what will make her more money.
I thank you, too, for this, as Heather has. I’m also in France and have experienced what she describes here, too. I’m sorry for Oprah, because I thought she had already moved past this in her many weight incarnations through the years. It is frightening to think that a woman with her power would choose this route, especially at this time of her life. I liked to think that she was more in tune with other women than that, but I was obviously wrong. I hope your superb post reaches her and I hope we can discuss what’s wrong with her ads as a community of women of all shapes and sizes.
Thank you, Katherine. Having also lived in France, more than once, and spanning several decade (ages and stages), I’m aware that this (thin) body expectation exists there as well. What has changed of course is the arrival of many bad habits from the US, our fast food, not to mention an increased rate of obesity. And “métro, boulot, dodo” surely plays its role.
I like the way you phrase this: ‘a community of women of all shapes and sizes.’
Yes to that.
This was a “spot on” post. I completely agree with everything you said. I would only add, don’t feel bad about feeling “bad” about Oprah. It has taken me a lifetime to accept the fact that there are few “heroes” in this world. Oprah, though there is much to admire and respect, certainly isn’t one of them.
I am at a normal weight and have been all my life — now at the lower end of a healthy BMI instead the upper one – but I do very much understand this odd feeling of not being quite right with my figure. A very dear (male) friend with a bit of a belly commented the other day that said belly is the perfect cell phone stand when in speaker mode while reclining a bit in his favorite office chair. The man is in his 70s, healthy and active, and perfectly at ease with his little belly. Can anyone imagine a woman making a comment like that? I have not met her yet. And if Oprah has not figured it out, then woe to the rest of us.
The differences between how men and women are socialized to feel about their bodies is striking, isn’t it. I find myself wondering if Gen Y and Millennial men will be more body “worried” and obsessive than prior generations. It will be interesting to see. And it’s frustrating how we seem to be going in the wrong direction on this huge issue when it comes to women.
There is so much wrong with mass-marketed diet programs. One of the worst is the set of underlying assumptions they perpetuate.
– There is one right way to eat for everybody
– It consists of simply consuming fewer calories and burning more
– Anyone with will power can do it
– Therefore anyone who is overweight has no willpower and is a failure as a person.
Most of these are either outright wrong, or only correct in certain instances. Scientists now know there is no “right” way to eat. Everyone’s “gut” is different, there are thousands, if not millions of different bacteria and combinations of them which influence individual metabolism.
And that is just for people who are not having health issues. Many people eat more food than they otherwise should because their body doesn’t metabolize it, so they are simultaneously starving and overweight.
Your appetite can also be influenced by the food you eat, particularly when it comes to bread. The gluten in bread works on both the brain and the stomach. In the brain, it produces the same effect on neurons as crack cocaine (not kidding!) making you want more and more. In the stomach, for some people, it damages the gut lining, causing malabsorption of food and leakage into the bloodstream. People with autoimmune problems often find great improvements from cutting out gluten, and sometimes dairy.
In addition, the best practices (food pyramids, diets of various health associations) lag well behind the science, so while you may be doing your best to be healthy, you may be going in the wrong direction. Best practices say fat is bad, veggies are great, no exceptions. The science says that fat is necessary, and all veggies are not created equal. For example, if you were to Google thiols, salicylates, and oxylates (independently), you may find that your favorite healthy diet is actually doing you harm.
At the very least, it is about much, much more than willpower.
So many good points, Robert. And shouldn’t we be discussing the poverty-overweight/obesity issue? The school lunch-overweight issue? Both of these – public health issues that are plaguing this country.
Also never taken into account – the numerous psychological issues including emotional eating, body dysmorphia, dealing with “success” at losing weight without psychological reinforcement to grow accustomed to it – to name a few. It’s an extremely complex issue for individuals and our society, for men and women both. To play into any sort of simplistic ‘fix’ seems utterly wrong, however appealing the commercial messaging.
This was a great post; I agree whole heartedly with everything you said. My weight fluctuates a lot due to lifestyle (mostly travel), and while my mind tells me to accept this as part of a good and enjoyable lifestyle, my heart is always disappointed that I can’t seem to keep myself a stable weight. I completely agree with you that if Oprah had turned her considerable power and knowledge to GMOs and Big Ag, there would be a lot more positive change in the population overall, rather than taking the petty and easy way out which preys on female insecurity that you can never be too thin. xx
Well put. Oprah is a bit of an enigma to me.
While I strongly promote healthy living and trying not to make bad nutrition/exercise decisions, this is why I love the Dove campaigns. They seem to try and focus girls/women on being happy with themselves in a culture that is always criticizing aspects of appearance. It’s one of the only “brands” I go out of my way to purchase simply because of their position on this subject.