Dear AdSense,
Yes, we met online. Yes, you were my first. Oh, that’s a special relationship – the first. It’s a tiny bit overwhelming. It’s memorable. Playful. And of course, there can be misunderstandings.
I had a lot to learn. It was one of those older man-younger woman things, you know? I plunged in with enthusiasm (and innocence), and we took it slowly, together.
You were helpful – there were forums and FAQs, troubleshooting and how-to documents. And that was enough, for awhile. I’d never been a “publisher” before, with ads to accommodate, around my words.
Yes, it took time for us to get to know each other. But I think I pleased you. After all, I write about everything! Or nearly. And yes, there are shoes.
But mostly, I write about women. Men and women. Our lives, our worries, our love for our children. Real life, and what that means in contemporary culture. Sure, there’s love and sex (we’ll come back to that), and those important “big questions.” There’s France and travel, leadership and life skills, language and psychology, and my passion for art, for books, for fashion and style, for good film – and even for reality television!
I’m thinking your advertisers must have enjoyed their time at my Daily Plate of Crazy. There was even tennis! Not to mention those pesky (but irresistible) wardrobe mishaps. After all, isn’t there a bit of the voyeur in all of us?
And that brings me back to love and sex. And the reason we’re breaking up.
Why I’m breaking up with AdSense
I’m saying goodbye. Over sex, the demise of so many beautiful relationships. And I think we only made it to second base, at that!
- Remember my musing on Sex vs Lovemaking? You wouldn’t serve ads to that page. I didn’t write it for sensationalism; I wrote it because it is important. Because we confuse sex with love all the time, and it causes pain. We need to talk about it – and I chose my words very carefully, so as not to offend.
- Then there was the lively discussion – or so I hoped – about social media and what we read when it comes to a sexy story. Dear me, I mentioned the word erotic. Too bad there is no human being to actually read what I wrote, as it was about fine art and literature, as well as Search Engine Optimization.
And yet, when I offered the occasional flirty reverie, you remained unfazed. Don’t get me wrong – I was grateful, and I hope I proved the point that erotic does not mean pornographic.
Still, I realize we’re simply not meant to be. And while I considered using “it’s not you, it’s me” – always a good exit line – the fact is:
It’s not me, it’s you.
More than a lover’s spat
I still find it baffling (and amusing) that you chose an article written in French, a tongue-in-cheek musing on the correlation of wine to a flourishing sex life to initiate the end to our (business?) affair. Was there a Parisian robot on duty the other night? Franchement, I doubt it. He would’ve chuckled, and read another page.
Didn’t I word things delicately enough?
Apparently not. This is the article that incited your recent message – the “change your content or else” message – and yes, I’m paraphrasing. But I have 15 months of daily writing, you see. More than 500 articles. And I stand by every word.
Here’s the thing.
- I’ve done my best to abide by your rules.
- I’ve tinkered and tangled with wording to please you, but. . .
- I really cannot – and will not – tinker any longer.
- And I will not be censored.
A shame?
Perhaps. But when lovers quarrel they need to be able to talk it out. And this is where we part – you aren’t a “you,” you’re a mammoth organization, spiders crawling zillions of pages day and night. Your software does the best it can to deliver on a promise to your advertisers. I get that. Really, I do.
But then there’s the fact that after receiving two checks (I thank you) – while watching my readership rise along with impressions and clicks, with demographics that impress – might I mention married women with children, college-educated, 35-44? – then my “earnings” plummeted to pennies. No tangible way to question, to protest, or to discuss.
After all, rates are subject to change, right?
It’s a new day
It was a nice little romance as first relationships go. I know you won’t miss me, though I dare to believe that some of your advertisers may. I’m a tiny fish in a huge sea, but hasn’t social media taught us that every fish with a voice may count?
So I will graciously thank you for the two checks I received. I will let you know it was an enjoyable relationship for the most part. But I’m also a bit relieved. Most of the ads on my site were delightful, but occasionally, they were concerning. And you see, I write about teaching teens e-commerce safety, the need to be careful on the internet. My reputation for integrity and honesty matters to me. So does the trust of my readers – something I’ve built up over more than 500 days of writing, sharing, listening – even though I do not believe that a “tell all” makes sense on the Internet.
I want this gathering place to be fun, flirty, thorough, thoughtful – and who knows what’s next? But my Daily Plate of Crazy is nothing if not about open exchange and quality. I will not contort my words – or my standards – to please you.
So I’m signing off, wishing you well, and will be seeking other courtships by way of sponsors. I will continue to write essays on everything – some silly, some serious – whatever interests or intrigues me on a given day. Yes – occasionally – that may deal with sexuality, sexual health, or other topics that range from delicious to difficult, all part of our human condition. And I believe, part of the dialog.
So let us part as friends.
Peace,
BLW
Breaking up is hard to do, but we’re all usually better for it. Good for you for sticking it to the man (or woman)! And standing by your own words. And living with integrity.
So what. Cuz you’re a rock star. You’ve got your rock moves and you don’t need him.
Oh, and Molly – I may not have the rock star moves. But I sure DO have the rock star shoes!
Ha ha! What a liberating honest and respectful break-up letter. Gentle yet firm. No compromises here for pennies. Love it!
Thanks Belinda, Molly, Justine… It was time. Telling me my content was problematic (and over that cute little wine and love post?) – well – that was the straw that broke this writing-mama’s back. (Ouch.)
I said goodbye during 08 election season when there was an ad stating the exact opposite position of mine on a certain CA proposition. Yeah, you know the one.
April – I know what you mean. With AdSense, you can block certain ads (theoretically), but it doesn’t always work. And then there are the issues with earnings and the fact that you have little visibility (or way to discuss) what you’re being paid, or how. It’s all a numbers game. A one-sided relationship – for the little guy, anyway.
It’s a great way to get your feet wet – at least it was for me. But we usually know when it’s time to go, don’t we? For once, I did the deed. I guess we’ll see what I can make of that. Perhaps find some quality advertisers on my own – thanks in part to all of you – a pretty spectacular bunch of readers.
Yes – each and every fish. That’s their loss of a really good bait fish – but we’re the ones who really know why.
And re: “spiders crawling zillions of pages day and night” – wow. I might be citing you in class next week – we spent a good deal of class time on analogies. What a great example.
Dear BigLittleWolf–
You know when you are the big man on campus and you’re dating the really cute, fun, interesting writer who thinks you’re the big man on campus? Well, I can see in your eyes things have changed. You no longer see me that way. And because of this I’ve become controlling. I thought the only way to make you mine again is to control you. But you being the worldly, brilliant writer you are, you figured me out. Darn it. I wish I could say I wish you the best, but I’m resentful. I’m resentful you have found it so easy to move on. Darn it.
C’est la vie (I don’t really mean this. I’m dying inside.)
AdSense
😉
I hope I’m not speaking too soon in saying I never really liked that guy (but I just want you to be happy—and to stay free and unbridled by such Non-Sense).
I don’t accept any advertising that requires censorship for pennies on the dollar. If it paid enough I might compromise by starting another blog, but…
As they say…it’s their loss. Because it would be our loss if you decided to censor yourself. You go girl!
PS To be honest I NEVER notice the ads.
It’s funny – I do notice ads on sites! Partly because I can find some things online, and it’s a convenient way for me to save time and target purchases, or to get more information about potential purchases. Maybe it’s partly because I’m online so much?
(And thank you… 🙂 And I might need one of those nifty leather jackets!)
Adsense sucks. It doesn’t pay nearly enough. And google has too many controls and computations, trying to find the highest payout spot for an ad, that if you don’t fare well for an hour, they cut you off. Simple as that. Some bloggers turn adsense on only during peak times when clickthrough is most likely. I refuse to play silly games like that.
Blogging doesn’t pay. Period.
I started blogging for me – and for communication. Well, actually, to save myself a lot of emailing when we went on a trip last year. To keep family and friends updated. It’s never occurred to me to put ads on my site, and to tell you the truth, I never pay attention to them on the blogs I read.
I do love your post though; you were so gracious about this breakup.
That is nuts!! And perhaps there are enough of us squelched by AdSense to start a mutiny?
Ha! Kind of nuts and funny, isn’t it? But here’s the thing – it’s dealing with Goliath, GOOGLE. You can’t ever get through to a person – you’re dealing with bots (apparently mine are French-speaking bots, but they don’t parler français very well, best I can tell!)
Damn, I love this! (While hating the actions behind it.)
I had the same prob., though I was not trying to obey the rules. My blog was (and still is) about sex, but funny, honest, real–you know, ADULT, like in the sense that we are ADULTS and we can talk about such things.
Grrrrr…..
Also hating on their no-communication, no way of protesting, etc…
Fight the power,
jill