Control my breathing? Seriously? Is that all it takes? Control my breathing to beat back my messy stressy days and develop in their place more meditative ways?
Apparently so.
And yes, I exaggerate. Or maybe not.
Time’s Healthland offers us “Six Breathing Exercises to Relax in 10-Minutes or Less.”
But I admit that the very title makes me jumpy – as though I’m embarking on the Body Mindfulness equivalent of See Six Countries in 10 Days – or Less!
And I say this well aware that I need to reduce my stress.
We all need to reduce our stress.
As for Healthland, I know the catchy appeal of 5 tricks to this and 10 tips for that. Hey – I fall for it myself, and I’ve even been known to use it! But a short list (with time frame) of ways to relax? That leaves me skeptical. And annoyed. And now performance anxiety is kicking in.
The Open-minded Mantra
But – and there’s always a but – if I pride myself on open-mindedness, I must read – and assess. I know I calm myself when I take deep breaths; likewise, when I focus on better posture which, among other things, facilitates deeper breathing.
So what, pray tell, are the suggestions on this list? Can We-Of-The-Type-A sort stow our cynicism for long enough to potentially reap the rewards?
Let’s see. There’s “Equal Breathing” – for beginners. Excellent. I qualify.
Skipping ahead – (we hyper-mega-ultra-stressy types do that) – there’s Abdominal Breathing, followed by Alternate Nostril Breathing.
Okay. I have an abdomen (if not proper “abs”), and my nostrils are in spiffy condition, so I ought to be able to alternate with the best of them. But we’re ramping up in complexity quickly. Next on the list?
Skull Shining Breath. It’s “advanced,” and I’m stymied.
I think I need a flow chart. Or an If-Then-Else. If Can Do Alternate Nostrils, then Proceed to Skull Shining. Else, Do Not Pass Go. Return to Exercise 1, Equal Breathing.
Mad for Mindfulness?
Honestly? I’m a believer in mindfulness, in awareness, in body awareness.
I’ve been trying to do a better job of losing the laptop, and silencing the cell.
I’m not succeeding.
I could certainly use techniques that would center me, slow me down, and allow me to power through my days and nights in a healthier fashion.
But I weary of explanations that seem to complicate the process. Or, perhaps it is complicated, which defeats the purpose of the exercise, doesn’t it?
Deep Breathing for Dummies?
I acknowledge in all candor that stress makes it hard to focus – even on something as basic as breathing! I also acknowledge that I’ve never done yoga, I likely would benefit, I wouldn’t mind trying (if I could find the time?) – and I do understand the extent to which mind rules the rebellious overwrought roost of the body, and mindful unwinding is definitely in order.
But where is “Deep Breathing for Dummies?” Or the Idiot’s Guide?
For the beginners among us, couldn’t we say Stop, Sit, and Take That Deep Breath? Because frankly, I read these articles and want to do better, but I finish dejected.
In 10 minutes – or less.
Breathing in a pattern or counting your breaths is pure relaxation for me.
I feel the same way. DON’T tell me it’s as simple as breathing in and out. Sometimes, you just gotta take a Xanax and call it a day.
Mr. HalfFull and I took a meditation class where we tried some of those breathing exercises. I failed pretty miserably, but at least it was a start. Supposedly, it’s a process and a journey, blah, blah…
Yeah – it’s a bad thing if it feels like one – more – thing – to – do.
It’s just a tool that works for me sometimes. Especially when I’m really stressed. Especially when I feel a debilitating headache coming on. Not a regular practice for me – but I turn to my breath and picturing the air moving through my head around and over to my neck and out the mouth when I need to open up again what feels like is closing in.
It works for me. Some of it’s chemical – all that oxygen going deep into my belly. Some of it is the distraction – focusing on “in” then “out” takes a lot more energy than it sounds like it should. Some of it is muscular, as my shoulders always lose some tension. Some of it is psychological – by taking the time (less than a minute) to do some deep breaths, I’m taking time to say “I choose to relax, I choose to take care of myself” which is a very different message to myself than “this is too hard and I can’t do it!”
I’ve been working on my breathing for years, and it didn’t come easily to me, but the results are well worth it for me. It’s not simple at all, while being the simplest thing in the world! It’s a contradiction, but worth the effort, in my opinion.
But then, I’m also one who used breathing exercises to get through birthing my daughter, and I was SHOCKED at how effective they were. When I told my mommy-group about my birth experience (visualizations, breathing exercises) to give birth without pain meds (though Pitocen induced and with complications), I got some very blank looks and some rather incredulous ones from the other moms. I don’t know if it works for everyone, but all I know is that it works for me.
I like to breathe in on one word (like peace) and breath out on another (like love). During cancer treatments I would breath in on healthy, out on strong. It helps me to have a word to channel my mind as I do breathing, because “empty mind” generally leads me to grocery lists and work lists and fretting about my life in general, whereas a word focus keeps me focused.
I wish it worked for everyone, but I can’t judge that. All I know is that it works for me. Which is good, because I hate the effect of Xanax/Ativan/Klonipin/etc. on my whole system, and I hate how they give me foggy thinking. I was given a prescription for those drugs almost simultaneous to my cancer diagnosis, but in the end I found breathing more effective for all but extreme cases (like “sorry but it looks like you’ve metastacized” and “oops I used the wrong size implant and you’ll need another surgery to exchange it” moments).
Have you read an article I’ve yet to write called “Six Words To Relax By” ?
1. Wine
2. Chocolate
That’s as far as I needed to go.
🙂
I’m way too Type A plus all ADHD up in the head but I have been trying Polly’s breathe in PEACE and breathe out LOVE. Makes me feel better for about 5 minutes when I find something else to freak out about. Good luck there….
What @Barb said, it does work. If you want a no-nonsense (i.e., non-spiritual) guide to meditation, I used “Sit Down and Shut Up” by Brad Warner, borrowed it from a friend. He is a crazy former punk musician that is a Zen priest and it boils down to the title, sit down someplace where you can relax, focus on each breath cycle until your mind stops talking and fretting. Your brain will try to get you to focus on whatever is bothering you, refocus on the breathing, repeat, rinse; it is almost impossible when you start, 2-5s max but with practice, you can displace your conscious thoughts with feeling your breathing and nothing else . If you only do it when your head is on the pillow before sleep, you will have the time and incentive to relax, it works.
All kidding aside, walking is my drug of choice for all sorts of reasons. The challenge (for me) isn’t discipline so much as work-lifestyle and timing.
It used to be easier to carve out 20 minutes of “healthy” time – but now, those freed up minutes are likely to come at midnight. Then what?
I will also say that doses of genuine laughter work wonders. But hard to generate those on demand.
(I’m asking. Seriously. Any suggestions?)
We are on the same wavelength today, my dear. I’m working right now on a post about a recent doctor’s visit where I was told to stress less. Me? The nail-biting, tooth-grinding, control freak?
Sure. Breathe in. Breathe out.
There. Did I do it? Am I relaxed now? Am I? Am I? 😉
I hear you Kristen. My day today is beyond my “usual” insane day. I am literally unable to catch my breath. But the fact is – this is societal. And we aren’t addressing the root problems.
Breathing in and thinking one and breathing out and thinking two works puts me to sleep. It was advice given by a character on a TV show called Psych. Works like a charm! During the day, I thrive on stress and controlled chaos so only controlled breathing at night please. And yoga, well yoga is a four letter word… I tried it (peer pressure while on vacation) because I have friends that swear by it. I found that in fact it did reduce my stress, if only because of my uncontrollable giggling. My inability to balance throughout the contortions and deep breathing was very entertaining. 🙂
You are absolutely right that we set these bars SO HIGH for even how to relax “right.” That brain negativity bias is powerful.
As for breathing, you are right that it’s not that hard. It’s actually quite simple–all you have to do is EXHALE. As I said in a post of my own today: Face Your Fears Day.
The trouble is, the quick solutions are so easy and accessible that they don’t make enough for an article or a post, so we have to complicate the idea of breathing to fill space.
Exactly, Ann. I’m thinking Natalie has the right idea. Wine, chocolate… Well, within reason. 😉
We did breathing exercises in Humanistic Psych class. It was very relaxing. But I was 19. What did I have to be stressed about?
I tried breathing excercises during labor (36 hours). I found moaning and an occassional scream much more satisfying. Neither was very relaxing. As a matter of fact, I found the breathing stressful after a while, because everyone around me kept urging me to do it.
I watched a PBS program with Dr. Weil about breathing exercises that he recommends. I was temporarily motivated to give it a try, but never did.
When I want to relax and destress, I sit down with a glass of wine and some chocolate – which someone else mentioned. It works every time. And maybe if you put on your favorite shoes, it will help get you in the right frame of mind 🙂 (I have a comfy sweater.)
Deep breathing makes me nauseous, so that’s out. But I like to say…it’s not the stress, it’s the anxiety!
As you know I’ve struggled with becoming at peace with the breath. Meditation had not worked for me. I find breathing more, (i.e. running) calms me more than taking slow deep breaths.
I’ve tried deep breathing, and it makes me both woozy and impatient. Maybe when I retire I’ll try it again. For now, I’ll stick with the wine and chocolate, TYVM.
Uh… Pollyanna… Breathing got you through childbirth? For real?
Drugs and a surgeon got me through #1. Screaming (no drugs, and no surgeon) got me through #2.
Your way sounds nicer…
🙂
Years ago, a friend gave Donna Farhi’s ‘The Breathing Book: Good Health and Vitality Through Essential Breath Work.’ It’s next to me right now, because I always keep a stack of books near my laptop that I haven’t completely or thoroughly read because I’m too busy and too stressed to take the time to stop and read let alone breathe.
[Inhales.]
Anyway, I’ve been meaning to write a post about the one breathing exercise I do remember internalizing, because it helped me immensely when I had a biopsy on my thyroid gland that I didn’t think was cancerous, that the biopsy said wasn’t cancerous, but in actuality was cancerous. Oh yes. The breathing:
Inhale slowly, mouth closed, concentrating on the diaphragm (chest barely moves).
Exhale slowly, mouth closed, concentrating on the diaphragm (chest barely moves).
At least that’s how I think it went. You’d think I could find it since the book is literally at the left-side of my laptop but I did flip through it and couldn’t find it quickly. And I needed to find it quickly because I’m busy and stressed and have a lot to do and just don’t have the time right now so I’m relying on what is quite likely faulty memory.
[Exhales.]
Fin.
Shaking my head, Marci. With a little smile. And shaking my head.
Thank you for commenting. How “big” we make the little things that do add up to become big. How small they are, individually, as we all chase our tails, out of breath.
I’m very spotty and lazy about deep breathing — I do do yoga breathing — but find when I do that I do feel better. So why I don’t do it more often is a mystery.
I’m a big believer in breathing away stress, calming myself down, opening my head and mind, with my breath. I wasn’t always so new agey, but after a year on a yoga matt I found the benefits were to good to ignore. I don’t hit the mat as often – gym is cheaper than yoga classes, but I still practice what I learned rolling around on the floor. Thanks much for the reminder and for sharing with all of us. I’ve been buried in a story for days and finally, as in only an hour ago, finished. Do I hear big glass of wine? 🙂
A big glass of wine! Definitely, Brenda!
My favorite line from Joyce: “Mr. Brown lived a short distance from his body.”
That about sums up the whole thing if you ask me.
I started doing a simple breathing exercise for 20 mins every day about a year ago and it does seem to have finally started to make a difference. I am sleeping better and am able to stay more centred even in stressful situations. It has now become a habit which I think I would miss if I stopped. It has been worth persevering even though it was difficult at first. Nothing fancy just deep abdominal breathing.
BLW, you inspired some thoughts on my own blog on this subject. Yes, breathing got me through birth, as crazy as that sounds. It ended up making me feel powerful beyond my wildest dreams.
Which is a good reminder to me, actually, because I’m relying on some deep breathing to get me through some tough spots now, and I need to remember that I still have that power. Breathing in on “peace”, breathing out on “love” and repeating a zillion times a day.
Yoga has saved my butt, literally and figuratively. 🙂
Luckily, there are videos for these types of things. And because I am a sweetie, I picked the one with the hottie:
http://youtu.be/OecsEaiG8TU
You can thank me later…
But seriously, skull shining breath is NOT for a beginner. It will probably just make you feel dizzy and then you will be like “yoga sucks!”. I would stick to alternate nostril breathing to calm you down. I don’t think that you actually need to be more amped up!!
H
Yep, cute! But that move was freaky!
One more thing I can feel deficient in…breathing, who knew!