Smallville, USA, 11:00 a.m. Eastern, July 4th. In what is thought to be an emerging fashion statement (or symptom of a rare disease), news sources in Smallville, USA report sightings of middle-aged men in berets. Moving quickly through crowds of holiday revelers, smartly cycling men eluded authorities who continue to search for these furtive figures […]
Kids Waving the Flag on the 4th? Be Careful Out There!
Apparently, all Americans over the age of 45 are Republicans. What! You didn’t get the memo? But there’s data! Data and a bit of extrapolation on my part. Now tell me. Are you over 45 years old? You must be a Republican, right? And are you planning on taking your children to a parade tomorrow? […]
Eighth Wonder
No. Definitely not a pyramid. (I would’ve heard the dragging of stone and moaning of exertion.) Couldn’t be the Colosseum. (Insufficient ceiling height.) The Taj Mahal? (No reflecting pool.) I was ticking off the list of wonders in my head, trying to recollect each and every one in its splendor and significance. Seven, right? Surely, […]
Navigating After The Storm
Last evening thunderstorms hit while I was grocery shopping at my local superstore. The lights flickered and went out – several times – and with each, I was plunged into darkness in the middle of a large space. Have I mentioned that I’m a bit claustrophobic? I didn’t panic, but I’d be lying if I […]
My Teacher Calls Me Sweetheart
I remember his name. I would never say it here. That is a function of appropriate behavior, which I hope I exercise, and I know – he did not. My teacher would call me sweetheart; worse, it was the way he looked at me, and then came too close. The way he touched, or did […]
Calling for the Tow Truck
“You have an idea parked in your head now,” he murmured. And he was right. It was one of those perfectly reasonable and measured conversations, romantic even, that had taken a strange and unanticipated turn. What he intended as simple disclosure of something in the past triggered a surprising chain reaction. In me. It was […]
730 Reasons
The coffee is hot. Black. Strong. 12 reasons that’s exactly how I’m determined to drink it. More shoes than I care to count – and 22 reasons I adore them all the same. 1800 books (at least) – and 16 reasons I wouldn’t have it any other way. 300 gray hairs (an estimate) – and […]
Hot Dogs and French Open (and French Men?)
Et si je disais que je m’occupais de “chiens chauds” et de Roland Garros? If I were to say that this weekend is dedicated to the pursuit of as much French Open Tennis as I can manage (on television, sadly) – and the occasional hot dog? Isn’t that a glorious combo? Might we mix the […]
Slicing the Onion
You know the recipe by heart and you move through the preparations as usual. You grab the red onion and slice through its textured flesh with a practiced hand. You begin the quick business of cutting rings or dicing squares, and your eyes begin to burn, to tear uncontrollably, and you’re caught off guard. So […]
Theory of Relativity
As the school year comes to a close (almost there!), I can’t help but look back, question what I might have done differently, assess the coming months, and anticipate – with worry, and wonder. My summer looms with increased expenses at a time I can ill afford them. It also entails expectations as I find […]