It isn’t about the scale. It isn’t about the fit of my jeans. It’s about how I feel when I overdo it with sweets. I feel crappy. And then I ask myself: What was I thinking?
Indulging in fattening foods through the holidays is common of course, but believing I could stop the overeating by fasting just after Christmas — or nearly… What was I thinking?
Worse: When I allow myself to be undisciplined about back exercises, about regular walking, about taking vitamins and other essential self-care routines, the grumbling of my inner voice grows louder and more insistent. WHAT WAS I THINKING?
And that’s not all. What about this: binge-watching over the course of two weeks — not one, not two, but three series before the free preview periods expired, and finally passing out around four in the morning and waking two hours later. Seriously now… I’m sleep-deprived under the best of circumstances… What was I thinking!?!?
I know, I know. This time of year, all manner of tasty temptations can pull us off course. (And I haven’t even mentioned overshooting the budget on gifts or goodies.) Also this time of year, some of us make resolutions to do better, others set a watchword or guiding principle to recapture their better angels, and a few of us — at the moment I’m in this camp — shake our heads at lapses in healthy habits and start making changes a few days before the first hours of a new year. (I did. Really. Crazy, I know.)
My reality: I’ve allowed old (bad) habits to gain ground. Also my reality: There are so many “what was I thinking?” incidents and periods in my life — and yours? — that any day I can make better (healthier, saner, less indulgent) decisions is an excellent day to feel better about redirecting toward a more positive (healthier, saner) future.
Indulgence? Another matter. (We should enjoy life, right? A Spartan approach to each day feels as ill-advised as its opposite tendency that begs to be corralled.)
Still, those damnable self-care lapses can be brutal to redress. My own, as an example:
- Not using moderation when it comes to the sweets. Juvenile.
- Not walking though I feel wonderful after. Dumb.
- Not doing back exercises. Idiotic.
- Not sleeping when I can. Ridiculous. Especially for someone who is already sleep-challenged.
One other excessive (harmful?) habit that I haven’t been able to kick since November 2016: watching and listening to too much news. Reading it as well. And feeling my blood pressure spike. Anyone else struggling with this one? (I’m certain that’s a yes.) My exception? The Sunday New York Times. The actual paper. Pure pleasure!
Now, I could chastise myself mercilessly, but that’s an unhelpful pattern I’ve been able to break over the years. (Instead I lecture myself somewhat more kindly, recognizing that most of us struggle to beat back bad habits — the same bad habits — from time to time.)
I know I can reinstate my healthier habits when I put my mind to it — using the “I can” versus “I can’t” approach, with a dash of “I will” — and some patience. Let’s try these for starters:
- I can and I will resume my (perfectly enjoyable) healthy eating habits that keep me feeling well. (Besides, I like my skinny jeans. I miss my skinny jeans. If my skinny jeans could talk, they would say they miss me, too.)
- I can and I will walk four times a week because again, I feel so much better when I do. (Enough said.)
- I can and I will be diligent about doing my back exercises every morning (as I had been doing for months), because there is no excuse for not doing them (and I hurt if I don’t). Not even wanting that first scrumptious steaming cup of Joe.
- I can manage to turn off the (cool, intriguing, suspenseful, atmospheric, addictive) “free” series, even the superb British and Scandinavian series (sigh), in order to get more sleep, and I will. Well, I will try.
As for the news?
I have already cut back.
What I haven’t done?
Other (healthy, relaxing) self-care activities.
A long hot bath. An hour with a GORGEOUS fashion or design magazine. Writing in my journal (yes, by hand, on paper). Letter writing (yes, by hand, on paper). Organizing files. (I love that, don’t you?) And even, maybe, possibly, yes… why not?… savoring something yummy like that (virgin) cinnamon-laced egg nog I enjoyed last night.
But could I, would I, should I? Could I would I should I even attempt moderation? Wouldn’t I overdo it? And then suffer the slings and arrows of self-recrimination?
Egg nog? Really? What was I thinking?
My thinking was just fine on that score. Not only did I stop at one — no, not a buzz kill — but it was quite sufficient to delight me. And by stopping, I felt positively gleeful (as the sweet, milky, luxurious flavor lollygagged on my palate) and oh so adult in acting on “enough.”
Those sinful sips?
Worth. Every. Calorie. Now repeat after me. Eudaimonia. It’s all about living well… and how we define it. Just no egregious extremes!
I can and I will. Excellent terms to motivate positive change whatever the time of year, don’t you think?
Any tales of seasonal (over)indulgence you would care to share? And your plans to reacquaint yourself with moderation? With goals motored by “I can” and “I will?”
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I hear you, DA. It’s been cold, and freezing rain, and then just freezing, here. Walking outside hurts my neck… from peering down to see if it’s pure ice underfoot. So I’ve been staying inside too much and just “finishing off” that box of chocolates, or tin of shortbread. What was I thinking? If I believed in cleanses, I’d do one today. But I think they are silly at best, and unhealthy at worst. So, I’ll just resolve to have more veggies today, and fresh fruit, and have less wine with dinner, and get on my exercise bike. Then I’ll feel better physically and psychologically.
May 2019 be healthy and positive for you, my on-line friend. xo
Sue, I thought you were having a mild winter, compared to most. I was just in
Ottawa for two weeks and while it’s not BC coast mild, it was for Ottawa. I was pleasantly surprised by the weather. I guess since then it has turned nasty.
My wish for you is a mild winter and early spring!
Happy New Year, Sue!
Some months ago, I decided to follow the advice of my French friends and say no to seconds. We rarely have sweets/desserts/snacks in the house and I cook all our meals from scratch, so we already eat a very healthy diet. But we lack portion control. Too much of a good thing. I have watched the weight slip away, just grams at a time, but without a yo-yo. Also without deprivation, without a change in anything, really, except stopping eating when I’ve eaten enough. I feel so much better already. It is not the kind of change or “diet” that eventually comes to an end. Control is a way of life.
OTOH, I busted my knee running earlier in the fall, and it still hurts and I have stopped most physical activity, hoping it will get better. It IS better–at least I can walk without terrible pain now–and I really have to do more.
I definitely get what you’re saying about the eating thing. On the other hand, the knee and pain thing is way more challenging. For me, back pain affects my legs, which then affects how much I can walk comfortably, which is the primary exercise I get. But the bad behavior comes creeping in when I am perfectly capable of walking briskly and a fair distance around town, but I’ve fallen out of the habit of doing so! That’s where discipline – sigh – has to be reignited. (Cue that (re)ignition… a few days ago.)
Wishing you a healthy and happy 2019!
Yup. Pain. That will do it.
And the “finishing off” phenomenon. (Insert sheepish grin _____.) And why do neighbors give me toffee and chocolate (to finish off after my kids leave)?
Best in 2019 to you, too, Sue! ?
I got on the scales this morning and, oh horror! Why did I ignore the fact that my pants were all too tight, that I had slipped into old habits (full plate, snacks, etc.) that my daily walks were not daily….
Today is a new day! A new year! I can do better!
So…I have my meals planned out and went for a nice long walk this morning. I’m on track and plan to stay on track!
Happy New Year!
You are a braver soul than I am, Joanna! (I don’t dare step on the scale. Maybe in a week of “behaving” as I feel my jeans loosen…)
Yes, new day, new year — a sense of a new fesh start! (Keep us posted on how it goes paying attention again. I will, too.)
Happy new year and glad you stopped by. ?
Seasonal overindulgence? Tamales. Made entirely of things I wouldn’t normally eat, but they tie to childhood holidays, not to mention that they taste like nothing else and are a South Texas tradition.
Year round overindulgence? Chocolate almonds. There are certainly worse things but the quantity is a problem. Especially with lack of exercise.
I think I can attribute lack of exercise to life getting in the way, with life defined as ill health – my own and other people’s. The new year should tell….
You get to enjoy some very special regional temptations indeed. (Chocolate almonds? I would never be able to eat just one!)
I do hope that 2019 brings you all more health, rest, and peace.
I know I beat myself up about the weight gain and lack of exercise. It’s a Christmas habit and I don’t know why I do it. Not the weight gain or lack of exercise but the beating myself up!! It’s 2 weeks of 52, I just have to be more mindful for the other 50.
Everything in moderation is a good motto.
Only two weeks? Linda, I think you are more disciplined as it is than some of us. ?
Overindulgence this holiday season, unknown why: Dove makes real blueberries covered with dark chocolate, then I mix with healthy cashews. Only a handful, maybe 2 handfuls at a time.
Lies to myself that it is healthy!
Doing all work on my property and all the chores is enough exercise each day!! That’s enough to exhaust me. But I add a mental and physical therapy which is 30 minutes, 3-4 times a week in the mid-day sun in my private hot tub doing water aerobic type movements or just floating. ?
Dark chocolate covered blueberries and cashews? TD! I would never have thought of that combination, but it sounds absolutely scrumptious. Be still my heart. And good thing I am off sugar for now!
Wishing you a very happy and healthy 2019!
D.A., Thanks for your reply?. This is sweet too! I hope you are watching some of this!: “…Speaker of the House of this Congress, which marks the 100th year of women having the right to vote.”
It’s incredible for me… I think I might cry ? again in a good way. I hope all our daughters of this country understand the great efforts that this took the woman before them.
Oh my goodness, and I thought it was just me …. Absolutely loved this, thank you for putting it into words and making me see the huge amount of self-deceit involved each and every day and there was me thinking I’d got away with it.
My everyday routine and life can go back to normal now. Exercise is difficult: I go swimming a couple of times a week, I can putter around the house and garden but going for a proper walk is impossible and I really miss it as I live by the south coast of England, opposite the isle of Wight. I also have back, leg feet and knee issues, and am awaiting diagnosis. I am also massively sleep deprived, and find my ability to tolerate pain is very low when I haven’t had a good night’s sleep.
So now back to being sensible. I can enjoy having the moral high ground when I don’t eat any sugar and don’t drink alcohol.
Jenny – self-deceit – yes! It is exactly the right word for what some of us to do to ourselves each day pretending that we are not doing damage. Also, I totally understand what you were saying about dealing with pain issues. Pain in particular areas can make exercise such a challenge if not impossible, and I hear you on the back, leg, and knee issues. I hope you get answers on that score soon, and answers that are easy for you to deal with. But it’s wonderful that you can swim! That’s so much better on joints.
By the way, sleep deprivation makes you eat more. You know that, right?
And you remind all of us how important it is to keep sugar and alcohol to a minimum to feel better as well.
So glad you stopped by and left your comments. Please stop by again and keep us posted on how well you were sticking to a reasonable approach on improving self-care habits. Be well. And happy 2019!