“Sex twice a day,” he says.
And I pause. I ponder. I wonder if he’s bragging, requesting, stating a fact, or trying to get my attention.
If it’s the latter, he succeeded. How could he not?
“I think it’s usual,” he adds, “or at least desirable.”
Sex twice a day?
Okay, I’ll bite. This appears to be an opening gambit. Perhaps, a negotiation.
Even as he makes his case, I recognize I’ve been distant. I’ve been working non-stop. Yet as I note the endearing and mischievous grin on his face, I’m mentally calculating the time required, subtracting that total from available hours, and concluding, well… he’s got to be kidding.
Sexual Activity, Frequency Factors
I have nothing against sex twice a day in principle, but I’m a busy woman. And a tired one. So what do I nudge off the plate to make time?
Yes, there are quickies. But that notion is highly personal. This level of recreation might still involve hours… Then again, there are those for whom sex is (relationship) glue. I get it, so to speak.
Now, as I’m delighted to be considered in so saucy a context, I’m reluctant to dismiss the idea altogether. I’m also well aware that even once a day isn’t always so simple (when not on vacation). Moreover, he is on vacation, and I’m not.
Then there is the college kid, clanging around the house at all hours.
Hello, distraction? (Goodbye, Libido.)
Healthy Sex Life, Better Health?
I know the statistics – married and otherwise. I also know my good fortune at this stage, and I don’t take it lightly.
As the conversation continues, he ticks off the health benefits:
- Great for the abs. Check.
- Great cardio. Check.
- Use it or Lose It. We all know what that means.
- Stress relief. (Who doesn’t love that?)
And then there is the overlooked, the under-appreciated, the all important – physical affection contributes to emotional intimacy. Besides, sex is fun!
Reviewing the data, we might presume the following. There’s nothing unreasonable or unusual in wanting sex twice a day. But you need a partner with the same inclination, and logistics may pose the problem, not desire or capacity.
There’s age to consider as well – as I’m of the femme d’un certain âge set, and my Man Friend finds himself in the same demographic.
Shall we factor in his nationality? Though long an American citizen, he’s French by birth and in some measure, by sensibilities – bien sûr. My preference for French ceci et cela is well established; his presence in my life is another stroke of luck. Might his frequency fancy be tied to cultural influences?
Statistics on Sex
But the data available are confusing, and we can reasonably assume that respondents are “tweaking.” Are we having more sex than the numbers reflect? More extra-marital affairs? More partners as well? Or does everything come up in the Less Department, as we seek to downplay what we don’t care to express?
Incidentally, I recall a figure used some years back, indicating the average sexual frequency was 127 times a year. So is that married or single? At 30 or 60? Male or female? Under what circumstances?
A few items I came up with, looking more recently?
According to sources referencing a 2011 Durex survey:
2/3 of us feel we don’t have sex often enough
And a similarly referenced 2010 survey shows
… those over 65 are still having sex more than once a week.
Sex and Happiness
PsychCentral references more recent studies, specifically within the context of marriage. While stating that “sexual satisfaction is a complex and multi-faceted construct,” they nonetheless conclude:
The more sexual frequency—the more reported happiness.
As to the reason for this bit of sharing? Well he brought up the subject. The least I could do was respond in kind. And it’s nearly the weekend. Theoretically, that’s playtime.
As to outcomes to be assumed from our discussion?
I leave you to your imagination, and I don’t kiss and tell. But I must admit, I’m pleased to be asked to the ball… by a marvelous man who fills my dance card.
You May Also Enjoy
ha! I’m game because my lovah makes me so crazy and with the distance and all but after a few days of 2x per day our parts get sore!
That might have actually been TMI.
TMI or not, you got a grin out of me. I say brava to glorious expressions of love among “lovahs” …
There seem to be among our natural desires, the separate desire for sex. Two or three times a day isn’t uncommon but is not measured by desire. There is a connection and in many cases (times) a re-connection that is only stimulated, nurtured, and released through the activity of sex. 4 times a day? 5? It tends to be more of the captured moments and the timing of the desire. After all, it’s what we do as animals, isn’t it?
Personally, I think the human animal ought to indulge to their heart’s desire, with a consenting (adult) partner of appropriate mind. Natural, healthy, and good… I quite agree! (And for those who don’t care to indulge, we should leave them to what makes them happy.)
Thanks so much for joining the conversation, John. Stop by again!
Sign me up! I love it. If I can make the time to brush my teeth at least twice on a daily basis, I can make the time for sex. Plus it’s more fun!
After 25 years, frequency for us depends on how much else is going on – twice a day at weekends and on vacation – great – it happens a lot, but during the week life takes over and it’s once, twice or, often, nothing at all. Just thinking twice a day would be over 18,000 times and whether that would have got more like scratching an itch and not so much fun. Still, nothing a little (or a lot of) imagination can’t resolve 🙂
I get your passion for all things French – the food, the weather, the clothes, the whole atmosphere plus guys always let you know that they know you are female there without being too much in your face. It’s a skill most British and American guys don’t seem to have discovered.
Smiling at your response, Ana. 25 years. Astonishing in itself, these days. And yes, that “vacation” schedule is always so much simpler, isn’t it? And a resounding “oui” to your assessment of French men – at least, in my own experience. 😉