What are you mulling over these days? How to get the job of your dreams? The man or woman of your dreams? Any tiny piece of your dreams while you still have time, however you may clock it?
Aren’t we “of a mind” to put our thinking caps on as one year closes and the other bears down, as we look to assess what we’ve accomplished and how we might refocus to achieve new goals – or possibly old?
How often do those New Year’s objectives have to do with the elusive engines of happiness? What about attitude? Or are you still stuck on those 10 pounds or 20, and a set of “if only” requirements that aren’t rooted on the inner workings at all?
How many times does the week before Christmas and December 31st find you scratching out a plan for fulfilling dreams of love, of professional recognition, of arriving at a place of peace with who and what you are, and where you are in your life?
From time to time I set my sights (and pen) to the shape of something like an essay not only as a writing exercise, but to shake the cobwebs loose in a more structured manner than usual. Sometimes I toss the temptation of proper structure, glancing at my watch regretfully, and nonetheless attack a topic with relish – even in a quick write.
Thoughts on Reality Checks Instead of Resolutions
Personally, I prefer reality checks and resets to traditional resolutions. In fact, I long ago gave up any practice of making resolutions. Instead, I tend to examine my approach, my attitudes, and my actions and see where I need to adjust.
I identify a “theme,” a watchword, a phrase – one that cannot fail per se, that serves to guide me as I undertake new goals in the coming year.
I attempt pragmatism though I’m not always successful. I accept constraints where I must, though I find it frustrating. I hope to bend dreams if required, but not to fracture them. I look to history with the intention of unknotting excuses, and untangling weights caught on worn, stubborn lines.
There is much to be learned in history, when we see it as instructive rather than prophetic.
We do love our “beginnings,” don’t we? And oh, how we love to dismiss the enduring middles!
As for the endings? We all have them. I shy away from the notion of “happy ending” as we use it, like punctuation to package our stories in a pretty bow and mute any thoughts of other more nuanced outcomes. And aren’t outcomes simply beginnings themselves, or at the very least – middles?
Encore Essays for Your Consideration:
If you’ve read these previously, I hope you will find merit in them again. If not, enjoy perusing and sharing your thoughts on optimism, on relationships that are most dear to you, on how to “thrive” as you struggle with concepts of success and failure, on the answers you seek and those you divine, on resolutions to make or let go – for something better.
Several years ago I faced the new year with a word of choice–something that would guide me, provide some inspiration and remind me of my gifts. It is a much better approach for me after years of the traditional resolution game!
Ah, Walker. Woman of like mind…
I gave up on resolutions a long time ago too. I love your reality checks idea instead. It’s much more effective…and hopefully lasts longer than the middle of February! Thoughtful reality checks can trigger new beginnings in a more constructive way, without the knee-jerk resolution decisions.
I’m all for what’s effective these days, Lisa. 😉 Constructive – yes! (Hoping you’re having a wonderful holiday week. xoxo)
I always start the New Year with the same resolution, “I am going to quit smoking.” This always elicits a few chuckles from those who know me as I have never smoked in my life. When asked to explain, I always add, “I like to start with something easy then work my way up to the hard stuff.”
For 2013? I am once again going to be a man of my word. I am once again going to demonstrate a level of self-discipline that others can only admire from afar and hope to one day emulate. As for the hard stuff? We’ll see. I’m still working on my smoking one day at a time.
I’m reading. wb 🙂
All chuckles aside, Mr. Belle, I hope you find a way to quit smoking in 2013! (I know there are some methods that work, but it can be terribly difficult I realize.)
A very happy holiday season to you!
Resolutions…not in the classic sense. I do a “year in review” and think about what that means and what direction things are taking and compare that to the template of directions I wish to be going in. I’ve worked up my “Three-legged stool” model in response (see blog for details).