I was considering taking a day off. (Hello, Crazy? You there? Think you could manage a little down time?)
Then I was thinking maybe I was just having an off day. Another matter entirely.
Perhaps if I took the occasional day off, I might have fewer off days.
Then again, in reality, I don’t have a great many off days – or days off. That has everything to do with the way my mind works, the way I make my living, and that “motherhood” thing, not to mention the way my schedule (and my cup) runneth over.
I can only say: I must like it that way.
Naturally, the occasional conflict erupts arises, when there just isn’t enough of me to go around. That’s when I wish for that 48-hour 30-hour day, imagining it could help, though I’d likely give too much of myself away fill it too quickly – and then what?
Ah, the 21st Century Woman’s Plight… Or is this a scenario that stretches back at least a few generations – say, to the tumultuous and transitional 1960s? (Colonel Mustard on the Fainting Couch with Betty Draper?)
It’s Mother’s Day, it’s Sunday, the rain is coming down in sheets and I ought to fill and refill Mr. Coffee and then avail myself of the virginal soaking tub (at last).
Instead, I’m pondering the inevitable clash of roles that occurs in gazillions thousands of households on a daily basis, as checklists, kids, spouse or partner, unfinished work, laundry, the trail of kitty cat hairballs – must I go on? – all seem to collide and are calling your name as the Sole Proprietor of Making Things Right.
So you run away from home take a breath and focus on priorities: even if someone goes without for a day, even if the disposal is clogged (along with the feline), even if the Hubs is scowling, the little ones are whining, and the big ones are fighting over the car keys – it’s not the end of the world.
And when you wake up to a morning like that, when everything in your body is screaming whispering to Just Stay In Bed No Matter What, you tell yourself (and everyone else) – you’re taking the damn day off.
Well, a few hours anyway.
So skip the dirty dishes.
Order a pizza at dinner time.
Don’t work, don’t think, don’t stress, ignore the noise, ignore the silence, ignore the kids the hubby the telephone whatever it takes to just breathe. Everything that tugs at you will still be there tonight or first thing in the morning. And sometimes an off day is the best messenger that a day off is in the, well… offing.
- Do you give yourself a Mental Health Day at home now and then?
- Do you live with a loved one who insists on it?
- Do you crave silence and alone time to regroup?
- Do you seek out socializing to renew your Super Powers?
I really enjoyed this post – especially the crossed out words! Had to laugh a few times 🙂 Sometimes I wish that my life was as full as you describe. Other times I am thankful I don’t need a 30-hour day! Either way, I do know how to take a break when I need one.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Great suggestions.
And yes.
But the super powers are best charged alone in front of Fragonard paintings, in a Deep bubble bath (alas not yet in front of a Fragonard ;)) and drinking tea by candlelight or going to bed Ridiculously Early with a tray of hot milk, a novel and some Rickie Lee Jones.
_TG xx
Bill and I have lived in one another’s back pockets for so much of the time since he retired I’ve been cycling between resigned patience, grumpiness, depression and climbing the walls. When the time came for us to pack up the motorhome and go to Wales, I started wondering “Why?” It was going to be cold there – I hear it’s also incredibly windy and rains a lot. I didn’t want to go for long walks or bike rides. Bill didn’t want to hear me complain about the cold and wet. I paid for half an RV to go warm places, not cold. So here I am at home alone and loving it. Amazingly I have energy for a load of things I normally can’t face. I thrive in solitude, though I can’t imagine life without Bill. I’m really going to have to get tougher about closing the door on the East Wing… I’m not willing to pretend I’m someone I’m not any more. And yes, we all do deserve a day off now and then – if not longer or more frequently. We are not the glue that holds the world together, much as we’d like to think we are.
It’s interesting, Shelley. People used to talk more and even joke about what happens when a spouse (or both) retires, and suddenly their alone together… all the time.
We don’t hear / talk about that so much, at least not in US, so it seems. Perhaps because so many of us are facing never retiring. Perhaps because of gray divorce, and fewer of us actually married to the same person by retirement age as we were originally, perhaps because many of us are alone at retirement if we’re lucky enough to be able to retire.
And I think it’s important – for some more than others – to have time alone.
I’m glad you took your time for yourself. It sounds like it was exactly what you needed to do!
My husband retired 15 years ago. He is just 62 now. We adore each other…but that being said, I crave alone time. As a kid I would lock myself in my room and sew, watch t.v., sneak to the kitchen for sustenance. My life these days is full to overflowing. Elderly parents, grand-daughter/day care, writing, deadlines, speaking engagements, yard work, money issues, noisy neighbors, sick friends, expectant family… on and on and on… Just like everybody else. I SEIZE moments of alone time. If I run to the grocery store to purchase food to feed the masses and their friends, I linger for 15 minutes at a sweet coffee shop and read People. Crap? Yes! Therapy? Yes!
I hear you, Kristine. I don’t think I realized how much I needed alone time and quiet until my years of day-in day-out parenting duty finally lifted. Then I still found myself swamped!
I cherish my alone time, and in a relationship with a very special man, I nonetheless struggle to carve out a small pocket of “self” time that isn’t owed to an professional obligation, a kid (even in college), a writing task, a household necessity – or my partner. I think I need to join you at that coffee shop. Even 15 minutes would be welcome. 🙂
Even pressure cookers have release valves. Or the safe ones do.
Mine… A nice bath (or shower). A trip to the store alone. Anything alone. One on one time. A good conversation. A good book. Yes. Yes. Yes. And it’s odd to me that I feel the need to ask for this time, while my husband assumes his.
It’s a notable difference, isn’t it Kate. Not always the case, but often enough.
I’m going to have a
nervous breakdownday off. I’ve worked hard for it. Now I’m going to enjoy it.🙂
I need alone time to reestablish my internal equilibrium, no question. Mental health days are a necessity sometimes — though of late, I’ve been working on building more mental health moments in my day to avoid needing the full shutting-the-world-out break as much. Surprisingly, it’s pretty effective!
Hope you had a peaceful Mother’s Day.
I crave alone time. Sometimes that means just relishing the quiet in my home. It may mean alone time in the restroom. Or in my office. But it’s certainly integral to my well being.