He’s alternately studying the sports page of USA Today and gazing out the small window at the clouds. He shuts his eyes. Clearly, not a talker.
That suits me fine. I’m feeling beat, I’m moody, I’m not very happy in a smaller sized jet. My lower back is screaming despite the hour I’ve been sitting at the gate, leaning against a worn heating pad which I plugged into a socket next to the laptop users.
I’ve just moved my son into college where I know he’ll be fine, but I feel drained, and the throbbing in my back has traveled to my legs.
I’m counting the hours until I land. I’m wondering how many days it will take until the pain returns to something more tolerable.
Mindless chatter?
No thanks. I’m glad for a silent stranger in the seat next to me.
But I’m fidgeting. I can’t fit the heating pad back into my bag so I’m holding it in my lap. I’m trying to get comfortable, and there is no comfortable.
“Sorry,” I say, and then we begin to talk despite a desire for quiet, and it’s the usual: we speak of schools, kids, where he’s going, where I’m going, and then my back which is literally impossible to ignore.
I mention the accident four years ago. I mention the unresolved pain ever since. He asks questions that make it clear he’s in the medical profession and he reveals that he works at the crossroads of chiropractics and neurology, in alternative methods for pain management. I don’t fully understand, but he asks if I am willing to try an experiment.
I say yes.
He explains that he will access contact points, in a similar fashion to acupuncture. He takes one arm and tests my muscle resistance, he checks leg strength as I push my feet against his palm, he touches the tender spots on my lower back, he moves another arm, he taps lightly on my cranium.
Then he taps rhythmically on various locations – the side of my nose, my upper lip, intermittently testing my strength – and I realize he’s treating me with more care and respect than several of the so-called traditional physicians who barely touched me during an examination.
He presses on my back every few minutes and the rhythmic tapping continues as I wonder if this is some form of hypnosis and if it is, I can’t say that I care. For the first time in days I feel my body relaxing.
He taps, and he taps, and he talks, and he taps.
And then he stops.
He looks straight at me and says “Well?”
I wiggle. I sit up straighter. I set my shoulders back firmly. Something is different in my back.
No pain.
“So?”
“It’s gone,” I say. “The pain is gone.”
“Women are tough,” he says. “It’s remarkable the way you deal with pain and just keep going.”
I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes and suddenly I’m aware of just how much pain I live with every waking hour, because for the first time in years – without a strong martini – I’m not in pain.
He’s right. Women keep going.
Before he exits the flight, I ask for his card and he says to get in touch and he will try to find someone in my area who might help.
Will I have the money for it? Will my research prove it out to be more than an occasional or temporary solution? Is the technique something that I can learn myself? Is this all some sort of mind game?
All I know is this. For eight hours I have zero pain. Zero. I feel lighter, lifted, energized, optimistic.
The following morning, as I bend to clean up a spill on the kitchen floor I feel the familiar twinge, and soon after, my usual discomfort. But not as severe as the day before.
For now, I will appreciate the gift of eight pain-free hours and use that gift to remind myself we should not assume that all situations are unchangeable. I will remind myself that “yes” to a small risk may yield a significant reward. I will remind myself to research the techniques he used (or any medical treatment, for that matter), and choose for myself what I do with that information.
Perhaps the real gift is the reminder that we have more options than we recognize – in everything – and the right to exercise them.
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What an inspiring story. The kindness of strangers is such an unexpected gift–you’re right. xoxo
Every day is a gift.
@Kitch – Yes, the kindness of strangers. And you never know where.
@Pj – I couldn’t agree more.
I love alternative treatments. Hopefully, he will find someone in your area. If it is an MD insurance pays for it. Even better.
wow! So glad you got his number. Your pain may have initiated with an accident but stresses and 20 hour days make those pains grow and grow… I am sure his healing was in part from your trusting him and letting go, if only for a moment.
Try not to let the day to day bring you back into that pain if at all possible.
Sometimes a lot of it is in the mind, and also in the pressing your shoulders back and taking deep breaths. The power of soft touch- even from a stranger can also be relaxing. Here’s hoping the pain stays at bay a little longer or until you can get to a colleague of his.
You are so spot on – ” use that gift to remind myself we should not assume that all situations are unchangeable.”
As a tall guy with over 20 years in the military, often spent schlepping heavy gear, this story gives me hope. Every once in a while I lift something from the wrong angle and I pay for the transgression with weeks of stiffness or pain.
I alway attribute it to not exercising enough. (I have a low-impact exercise regime.) Or, I could just keep trying to work through it until it becomes chronic. Sometimes old age sucks. But like everything in life, there are pluses and minuses.
Awesome. From your description, it sounds like some version of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or MTT (Meridian Tapping Technique.) They can both have results that seem almost miraculous.
It’s so nice to hear something POSITIVE about an encounter with a stranger. So many times the stories are about people who are rude and hateful.
A gift indeed….
Hey BLW, Another gloss on this is… in our lucid dream you took your pain to a higher level of consciousness, where you met your own inner healer (a bit Animus, but perhaps more Senex/Shaman/Healer). You trusted and connected and it was the connection that plugged you, not just into your healing… but into your capacity to heal the pain in others (but only after you yourself are “free” of your pain; of your fear; of your desire in the sense of wanting what is not).
This is a very good, very powerful and very important experience. I truly thank you for sharing it, and I take it to heart in a time when there seems to be a strong spike in fear and anxiety blipping across the transom of our collective situation… which shows up in our own personal situations and experiences.
Here’s wishing you healing and good feelings that truly last.
I love this post. How amazing that he was willing to help you. And equally amazing that you were willing to let a stranger on an airplane touch you in such an intimate way. Speaks volumes about the quantity of pain you’ve been living with. So glad you were able to enjoy those 8 hours. And I hope something positive comes from his referral.
Incredible! I hope you are able to get a referral to a local practitioner!
Pain relief can come from some truly amazing sources. I’m a music practitioner, contracted by a hospital, trained in harping for pain relief. So amazing when paths of strangers converge in such a wonderful way.
What a gift!
I went to someone with similar techniques years ago. She worked on a sliding scale and some insurance covered her work. (Not mine, but some.)
I hope you find someone wonderful!
The great thing about this experience is you know what you’re shooting for now.
Have you read The Pain Chronicles? (Melanie Thernstrom) Might be useful.
I didn’t even imagine it was possible to feel that much better (without a martini). Haven’t read the book you mention. Will check around, thank you.
I want to cry for you, I’m so happy for you! And btw, love the new look here.
I really love how you intersected with this individual. You were open to talking about your pain and he was giving enough to give you a solution. A priceless gift.
Zero. That is, in this context, a marvelous, cartwheel-worthy number. I hope he has leads for you in your area.
Yes, CT. In this instance, zero was a positive number. I’d like to be there again sometime.
That is seriously cool on a number of layers. I’m glad you got his card. Good luck!