It’s really happening.
It’s really happening.
I say it over and over.
In my head. In disbelief.
And I say this, as I have lived it: Opportunity comes to those who work.
I’m tired. I’m distracted. The chair is large and my feet are dangling which is annoying. I want to laugh at the same time as I wriggle a little, shifting my body forward. My son is beside me.
The Dean of Admissions is speaking at the podium. She’s intelligent and articulate. She’s warm. She’s funny.
My son is listening politely, then allowing his gaze to wander. He is examining the high ceilings, the arched and angled structure of a nook off to the right. He is registering the space. Architecting his future.
Assessing
I look around. At the intimate gathering of faces.
There are parents and teenagers, faculty and area alumnae. It is the Accepted Students Reception, for information and discussion. Some of the expressions reflect the process of assessing. Some, like mine, are feeling.
I think of what it’s taken to get here.
No, that’s not right. I feel what it’s taken to get here. I feel it. And I fight back tears.
It’s really happening, it’s really happening, it’s really happening.
Working for opportunity
I get up early – groggy and fragmented. My To Do list is overflowing. There are never enough hours.
My son gets up – groggy and quiet. He has things on his mind. The rain comes down.
We’re low on sleep, but none of that matters. Last night, my son conversed amicably, was favorably impressed, and we came home to the usual – work and more work. We work too hard and I know it.
But opportunity comes to those who work. And he did it. We did it.
Realizations
This morning, before leaving the house, my son jumps on email.
“Look at this,” he says. “I think it’s an acceptance.”
He names the school, and I’m convinced he’s mistaken. I look at his screen. I read the words. It is an acceptance, at an incredible university we were certain he wouldn’t get into. My jaw drops. He beams.
It’s really happening. It’s really happening. It’s really happening.
There are choices ahead for my son. Important decisions. And for me.
Yes, there will be adjustments. Yes, there will be loneliness. Yes, there will still be parenting duties – though the nature of our interaction will change, as it has with my older son.
There is pride, there is fear, there is relief, there is joy. There is so much feeling.
I imagine myself free, and not. Parenting, and not. Scared of the unknown.
And not.
© D A Wolf
Isn’t that the bitch of it. We devote our lives, our souls, our hearts, to this job of parenting. And our reward is they leave us!
It’s good that you’re thinking about this now, though. You’re preparing yourself that as wonderful as this is, it’s not without a sense of loss.
How very exciting!!!! And how very scary. My heart sank to consider my baby leaving for college. Wow…
Thinking of you both and sending good wishes. Congratulations!
Congratulations to your son AND you!
So extremely happy for you, proud to know you, inspired to be the parent you are. Emotional day!
My continued congratulations to you both. Really.
BRAVO. To both of you! xoxoxo
How very exciting for the two of you. Congratulations!
Thanks! (It’s always nice to have choices… And such a relief to know he will be going somewhere he will feel excited about.) Now if only I could get used to the idea of empty nest. Hmm. I may need to take in more Latvians.
It’s great news, BLW. And meanwhile, the kindergarten list grows longer: http://nyti.ms/idmnZg
What a world.
Oh what terrific news. Ha, e-mail! Totally different from receiving that envelope in the post. A thick one or thin? How things have changed.
Hooray for choices, hooray for big plans and a big payoff to months (and years) of work. I’m off to do a happy dance on your behalf 🙂
Yes – a Happy Dance! (Barefoot.)
Congratulations!!! that is terrific news. You and i girl are in similar situations. It is exciting and frustrating and scary and sad and a big change from what we have known of life for so long.
But it is also new beginnings and changes and future…
We too just got an acceptance letter. Yay!
Doing the HAPPY DANCE for you, too, NAS!! So thrilled for you! (Huge relief, isn’t it?)
I am jumping up and down for you and your son. Relish in it BLW. You both earned it.
Hey BL Wolf, I must say that I am not in the least surprised—but I am extremely delighted for both of you. Congrats and Best Wishes for a great process ahead, also for you both. XO
Congratulations!!!! I do NOT want to think about the time when one of my kids goes off. But oh this is so exciting. For him. For you. I am very excited for the school too. 🙂
Preschool for me. College for you. Such different places. But the emotions? I recognize yours. They are here, in me, too.
“There is pride, there is fear, there is relief, there is joy. There is so much feeling.”
You have summed up parenthood in one simple – and exquisite – sentence. Congratulations to you and your boy. I am proud and excited from afar 🙂