It’s the word that popped into my mind a few minutes ago. Intervention. I am late to writing today because I’ve been translating reviews from French into English for a painter. “Life intervenes,” I thought to myself, smiling, knowing that however much I want to start my day by writing – for myself – responsibility dictates that professional tasks take precedence.
And I think of interventions. Of those that are intentional, when we stop, take stock, reorient. I think of those interventions initiated by others, when they observe that we are overdoing or nearing the danger zone in some way, interventions intended to prevent harm, to point out changes needed for our emotional or physical well-being.
Entertainment intervention?
I joke at times about needing an intervention. I recognize my tendency to overdo – to work excessively, to pour myself into activities to the point of exhaustion. To sacrifice sleep for whatever my children might need, not to mention for yet another Mad Men marathon, or my viewing habits when it comes to Reality TV.
Yes, I’m fascinated by the New York Housewives, by Top Chef and its spin-offs, by Bethenny’s Getting Married (most recently), and of course – there is Work of Art.
We do not process in a vacuum; naturally, my musings in recent days are interrelated. I’ve touched on the public face and the private self, on beauty and its advantages, on demystifying contemporary art, art being one of my passions. And so I’ve written about the pursuit of our passions.
Authenticity is an underlying theme in all of this, and certainly when talking about “buzz” – whether it enhances or obscures. Are our beautiful smiles genuine? Who are we, really? Is there a single self, or even a single self that evolves as time passes? Are some of us a jumble of multiple selves we delight in, whether others understand us or not?
How much is real? How much is spin? Can we tell the difference? Does it matter?
Language, assisting
I am drawn to the pleasure of language: I see the word invention, to be plucked from the confines of intervention. And I allow my mind to wander.
When we abuse substances, when we stretch our physical capacities beyond reason, when we border on obsession in an undertaking or pastime, do we know why?
- To what extent does excess serve some deep and private place that may enable us to better face the world, or ourselves? To be “authentic?”
- How do excesses facilitate our creative sides, for those of us who live and breathe the need to create? Do they open doors to invention, and reinvention?
- Is excess about escape, about anesthesia, about coping? Is it all about survival?
I reflect again on my own public face – or more specifically – the roles that any woman (or man) feels bound to play. And for women, there’s no question that beauty is a factor – whatever a culture deems beautiful. There is the fine line to walk – beauty as it assists professionally and personally. Beauty as it distracts in the very same circumstances. It becomes a painful subject as women age, as physical beauty fades, as opportunities and power lessen in the process.
I think again about the public faces we wear in our behaviors, some of which remain even with our most intimate partners. Isn’t some element of persona always present? Don’t we exercise filtering and editing skills based upon each situation?
I find nothing inauthentic in this; it is social necessity.
And as long as the public face retains its connection to some sort of authenticity? Whether you are a performer, an artist, a teacher, a lover, a writer, a motivational speaker – isn’t that as good as it gets?
As long as we always know who we are in the process, and the whys and wherefores of what we are doing?
Intervention, reinvention
I feel no need for any intervention at present; invention and reinvention are much more on my mind these days. Ways to put my skills to use, to meld them into a means to make a living, to reduce the stress that is a constant in my daily life, to work from my passions, in yet another reinvention of myself, if necessary.
I love this connection you’ve highlighted between intervention and invention (or even RE-invention). Very interesting, and true. When life intervenes, we have to get inventive about taking things in stride, continuing to reach our goals, etc.
This has been on my mind lately, too: the balance between authenticity and professionalism, or authenticity and politeness. Sometimes it’s important to be polite and nice to others, even if you don’t feel that way on the inside. Or to convey confidence even when you’re not. So while I value authenticity, I realize there are times in our world when we can’t be completely genuine. It’s sad, in a way.
I understand why you say it’s sad in a way, Eva. But consider what our daily lives would be like if we didn’t practice this gentle art of public face. Think of the friction in professional discussions (or taken to an extreme, the drop in effectiveness in a negotiation, for example, without the necessary poker face). Imagine personal relationships whereby delivery of a potentially hurtful message isn’t couched in softer language.
Most of us pick up on the underlying reality, delivered with some cushion for our feelings or the context. I think this is a positive.
The challenge is the balancing act. The clarity we need in knowing what feels most true to us, and hanging on to it, in a world that bombards us with mixed messages and excess.
Wow – there is so much here.
It touches upon a question that enters my mind now and again – can we invent and reinvent ourselves and remain consistently authentic? Is it possible to invent a new authenticity or do we reinvent ourselves based on increased awareness of our authentic selves?
We can invent and reinvent – but do we have to be in alignment in thought, word, and action? Is that the authenticity that remains regardless of how much we give in a situation?
A man cheats on his wife for ten years ending his relationship only due to his wife’s intervention. He now reinvents himself to stay in the marriage as she reinvents herself – is there authenticity in the invention?
Intriguing. Perhaps our public and private faces are aspects of ourselves – key being that we know who we are – that we are authentic with ourselves. To thy self be true.
“Perhaps our public and private faces are aspects of ourselves – key being that we know who we are – that we are authentic with ourselves.” My thoughts exactly.
And one other thing to ponder – if we didn’t reinvent ourselves as life throws major changes at us, where would be? In perpetual contraction, rather than expanding, adapting as necessary, and advancing along different paths?
Wolf, this is a very deep piece. If I could wrap my mind around anything right now, I would actually write something intelligible to complement your words. Right now, though, I am in the middle of my own intervention or re-invention, or invention or something, I’m still working out the details.
Actually, Amber, I feel as though all I did was gloss over interrelated topics, addressing none of them with any depth or clarity. And they deserve proper discussion – individually, and in the way they influence each other.
Something The Exception noted as an example has provided more food for thought. The man who cheats on his wife, gets caught, she intervenes, and only through her intervention do they reinvent themselves and their marriage. It leads me to wonder if every “reinvention” is based on an intervention of some sort – either life intervening with an unexpected event, or others in our lives, intervening so we may see something of ourselves. Or, we undertake reinvention because we wish to change in some way.
I also wonder if women aren’t masters of reinvention more than men. We lead so many lives, often quite distinct, though we don’t speak of some of them. Pre-marriage vs marriage, pre-motherhood vs motherhood, youthful vs mature.
Whatever invention/reinvention you’re going through – I hope it leads you where you wish to go next, knowing reinvention is, for some of us, perpetual.
Re-invention. I love that term. I remember, as a child, wanting desperately to be “all grown up” because then I would know WHO I was. Little did I know that who I was, am and will be is constantly changing.
You’re so right, Jane. When we’re kids, we think adults have it all figured out. Ha!
In many ways this the the very heart of the matter of self vs. soul and individual vs. collective. Becoming our truest Self calls upon us to reconcile the opposites of our most private and unknowable (by others) identities with the group’s notions of co-constructed “reality.”
I think we are in a time of great transition, one of consciousness shifting toward “the end of the end” as the Buddhists might call it.
Something I heard from a writing teacher has always stayed with me, although I’ve yet to get there: if you go far enough into the deeply personal you reach the universal.
The notion that if we unmasked bravely enough we would find ourselves connected to the group rather than isolated from it is a very alluring, scary and daunting challenge.
Finally, I think that one of the reasons that loneliness at the existential level is so universally widespread may have something to do with our truest identities being found in our inter-relatedness to everyone and everything, rather than in our sole identities, no matter how deep or revealed they may be—they are but a fragment of a seemingly shattered totality.
There is so much I could say about this, so much we could talk about if we were only closer. I am for certain a jumble of multiple selves and sometimes I grow tired of waking up to a new me each morning and having to honour all of my selves. Sometimes I wish I could be just me and not worry so much about responsibility. Do I need an intervention? Well I did, for certain. I found one, it helped, but the question is will it keep on helping. Everything we do every day is important and vital in some way. Being able to find how that is the key. Sometimes it’s clear, sometimes not. For now…I’ll ruminate about this as I drink my iced coffee 🙂
If this is glossing over topics, I’m in deep trouble because I thought it was very thought-provoking and worthy of a lot of reflection. I agree with you that, in our world, one cannot really be totally transparent in everything they do/say. We all wear masks. We all have filters. And that’s isn’t a bad thing unless you are pretending to be something you are not…if the mask doesn’t really fit well. We, as women, go from being someone’s daughter, to someone’s girlfriend, to employee, to wife, to mother, to……and with each role, a new mask is created and worn. My “mom mask” is not the same as my “wife mask.” They have different goals and purposes. And my actions in achieving those goals are, many times different. Does that make me superficial? Those that know me well will tell you I’m anything but. The mask I wear when doing my job cannot be the same one I wear at home.
I’ve re-invented myself a dozen times, each time improving on the last version! As the saying goes, “the only thing constant is change.” If a person stops changing…look out…they may be dead.
I think you nailed it, Lisa.
I think we all need interventions for some things in our life. When you do things a certain way, you often need the eyes of someone else to nudge you elsewhere. Certainly that’s true for me.
Tour de france is going on right now (VERY exciting this year). And of course when I think of France, you come to mind. Do I need an intervention? 🙂