I have a vague recollection of agreeing, last evening, to host a 17-year old from Latvia, for two weeks. Did I imagine it?
My body is worn (violins please), my sleep is pocked (cue the violas), my financial situation is right in keeping with the National Debt (are we up to a quartet yet?) but, it appears I said yes to this event all the same.
Managed terror
My teenage son and I had a brief discussion (a.k.a. the list of tasks), and then a creeping sense of horror set in as I looked again at the document on the kitchen table, the blurbs on each student, and their scheduled period of stay in our fair town.
Did I say that our potential Eastern European guest was arriving in a week? Try Tuesday. Yes, as in 72 hours from now. Can you spell P-A-N-I-C?
As it happens, that’s the day I trek around the city on planes, trains, and automobiles (okay, no planes) to see the new (may he be magical) Sleep Doctor. Naturally, my appointment coincides with the arrival of one jet-lagged Latvian kid. I’m beat just thinking about it. (Note that Murphy has not yet moved next door.)
However, the mere fact of being scheduled to see a specialist who may assist in returning the errant zzzzzzz to my currently beleaguered 25-letter alphabet is, nonetheless, hopeful. Now how in the hell am I going to pick up my Latvian?? And stow him in the storage closet which, by any other name, will soon be known as the Latvian Suite?
Cue the violins again, thanks.
Linguistic lubrication in lieu of medication?
Speaking of beat, my thoughts: a lesson on managing pre-house guest did-I-bite-off-more-than-I-can-chew-again panic – in Shakespearean sonnet form. (And why not? It’s Saturday morning. Who in their right mind is reading this anyway? And if you are, wouldn’t you love to know how to construct a Shakespearean sonnet? Isn’t this cheaper than a copay for anxiety medication? Or Ambien, if you need a few more winks?)
How to write a Shakespearean sonnet
By the way, a Shakespearean sonnet requires a fixed set of lines (14), structured with a specified rhyme scheme and meter. It’s a bit more complex than that, but go with me on this one. And cut me some Elizabethan slack. I’m verrrrrry out of practice.
Basically, its end-line rhyme scheme is a-b-a-b, c-d-c-d, e-f-e-f, g-g.
Each line comprises 10 syllables, in iambic pentameter. (Feel like you’re back in High School English?)
Not to worry. No quiz, and it won’t be that painful. REALLY. Besides, I’m keeping it very PG-13. (R-rated limericks another day.) As for iambic pentameter? It resembles a simple beat of a drum. Da-DUM, da-DUM, and so on. Five of them, to equal ten syllables in the line. That’s the part that’s not right (and I know it), but do I get points for trying?
Full House Woes and Panic City (Thinking on it, I Feel Shitty)
Surely, the Bard doth pop a pill, this for him be not a thrill…
The needs of teens and all their plaintive sighs,
With money woes and weariness and stress,
Their appetites not bigger than their eyes,
Chaos, hormones, laundry, food – the mess!
Now, a house to clean and then a student
Arrives in days! The scrubbing and the mopping!
Zoloft, Paxil, Shakespeare – which is prudent?
Will my son be helping with the shopping?
Though Latvia is far from my dominion,
This teen will need some sleep and tender caring.
That of course is only my opinion –
Reality will all too soon be glaring.
I fear I’ve overfilled my crazy plate.
Yet could it be this is my “normal” state?
All in favor of GOBS more sleep so I don’t write sorry sonnets – please stand up!! And my “10 things you don’t know about me” – tomorrow. Though surely, writing MOST EXCELLENT SONNETS will not be among them.
In need of the NEXT installment? Here’s more on the cultural clash of Lilliputians and Latvians.
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Yup! I am here reading this on a Saturday morning. I am thinking I should still be in bed. LOL!
Great sonnet! You know it will all work out. Lay down and let son clean.
Nicki! It’s Saturday! Go back to bed… (or are you going running?) Son will sleep until noon. Then it’s going to be Mother instructing from her bed as to doing what and where and how. ‘Twon’t be pretty.
You wrote a freaking sonnet? Chortle! You DO need some sleep, girlfriend! I’m loving it!
I actually prefer the Italian sonnet form. GORGEOUS. But I’m not up to it. (I think I’d have to be taller to pick up my Italian sonnetizing skills again.) So I wonder – is there a Latvian sonnet??
Where’s Amy Lemmon? I’m sure she could do it. Her poetry is wondrous. Amy – are you there somewhere? Can you hit us with a Latvian sonnet? Okay. Italian then. Light on the Parmesan.
lemmon is in the house. this is not a sorry sonnet. i love it! and sonnet is my favorite form. i’ve read a lot of ’em and written some. latvian, um, gimme a couple days. italian, i could do. they invented the sonnet, after all. my friend moira egan, an american living in rome, is a master (mistress?) sonnetteer. Go here: http://www.ducts.org/content/three-sonnets/ …enjoy!
Ooooo, yummy. (Or should I say delicioso !) I’m headed to read some sonnets Italian-style. Grazie, Amy! (And keep me posted on the Latvian thing. Um, just in case.)
BLW – had to get up on five hours sleep (I know you would love to get that) to get #6 ready to head out the door for a skiing trip. I did eventually crawl back into bed as I had done that “me” thing yesterday – a class, Happy Hour with friends, a dinner tweet up and then a bar to hear a friend’s band – on top of the 40 minutes to Ithaca and then home. Still tired and thinking that today will be an additional rest day from running to make hip feel better.
Yeah Nicki. Take care of the hip! (You runners are tough cookies! I don’t know how you do it.)
Hum the tune of “I will survive” in your head all day Tuesday and I’ll think you’ll be okay. Stock up on the frozen pizzas 🙂 and enjoy the shift in energy once Latvian Boy arrives. It’ll be worth it, for sure, and I think you’ll manage to stay out of the loony bin.
And for goodness sakes, don’t miss that freaking DR. APPT!
Humming. Got it, Sarah. (Humming, humming, humming… ) Oh, and the teenager is cleaning, tra la. But he just invited friends over to HELP him clean. Sheesh. Latvian pizza. SURELY that must exist. Doesn’t Dominos have a wide delivery range? Art Kid makes a mean custom omelette, and I’m good with fast chicken dishes. And nope, won’t be missing that Dr. Dream Sleep appointment, short of, um, sleeping through it. (Not likely.)
I imagine your Latvian houseguest will be impressed by whatever hospitality you provide. Anyone who can write a sonnet while bleary-eyed and exhausted is bound to make an awesome host.
This is a strange side note, but I recently interviewed a group of Latvian weavers for a profile in a local magazine. The history and traditions of Latvia are really fascinating. I predict you’ll really enjoy learning more about it!
Oh, this is so clever! And stuffed with so much while keeping to form.
Every thing I’ve done that wound up being extremely awesome and meaningful started out by overwhelming the crap out of me.
I’d say you’re right on target for an incredible experience…
I would have read this this morning if my own troops had given me time! (Happy complaint!)
I wrote a sonnet for my college Humanities class. It was pretty horrible, I am sure–probably why I don’t remember what it was all about.
Teens have a habit of stepping up when the time calls for it. I bet your awesome guy will do just that.
I have a very good Latvian friend – please call on me if you need any cultural translation!
He’s going to figure it out if you keep calling him the “Latvian Boy” or keep referring to it as the “Latvian Invasion”… 🙂
Don’t worry. It’s just two weeks. You could have agreed to host for a year! Also, it’ll be just like having the big one back for a limited period of time, but this one will have to be more polite. Right?