A fine wine, a conversation
What could be better than a wonderful Côtes du Rhône in hand, and conversation shared with a friend in France?
That friend is a journalist who writes with a refined eye and wicked wit on all things stylish and oh-so French. And what subject comes up? Paris Fashion Week? It’s a reasonable guess. Mais non. The proper temperature for a Chateauneuf-du-Pape? Not exactly. Something even better. Eh oui, we speak of French men. And as she is married to one (her Reason-for-Living-in-France), she understands my need to set the record straight. I mean no disrespect to the many remarkable gentlemen in my own country, but I feel compelled to express why French men are utterly irresistible.
And so, I made a delightful excursion to Tish’s place, A Femme d’un Certain Age, where I offer my thoughts on this subject. And here, I permit myself a slightly racier version. No objections, I imagine?
Are French men irresistible?
Are French men really irresistible?
We certainly have examples among our cinematic icons. There’s Charles Boyer and Maurice Chevalier if you’re a fan of old films. And surely you recall the debonair Louis Jourdan alongside Leslie Caron in Gigi.
Perhaps you prefer a dashing Alain Delon (divine). Maybe your style is more Jean Réno (less pretty, but ruggedly scrumptious). And I confess there’s definite appeal to the likes of Romain Duris (for the younger crowd) or Jean-Marc Barr (for any age). I’d best stop there, or I could go on, and on.
As for the myth of the French man? Isn’t there at least a kernel of truth to every stereotype? And won’t you always encounter a bit of the good, the bad, and everything in between when you get down to the reality?
I’ll bet you know exactly which (good and not-so-good) myths I mean.
The good:
- French men are romantic
- French men are seductive
- French men are charming and witty
And the not-so-good:
- French men smoke too much
- French men are serial seducers
- French men believe their own myth
French men: A matter of taste?
Where myth and reality meet is a matter of individual taste, naturellement. A matter of personal assessment, based upon whomever you might encounter, and within the context of what you find usual.
As for me? I am an American by birth, was married to a European (not French), and while I won’t claim to have a statistically representative sample (I’m a busy woman, after all), I have lived and worked in France at various points in my life. And as a woman of a certain age, I’ve experienced my life on both sides of the Atlantic.
Might I add that I consider myself very discriminating? Sélective – shall we say? Yet I have many reasons for adoring French men. Let me share a few of them with you.
My top ten reasons French men are irresistible
- Flirtation is part of the language and the culture. Possibility is always in the air. And the air sizzles, whatever the season, and whatever the circumstance. It is innocent, delicious, and needn’t lead anywhere. Unless you want it to.
- Conversation sparkles like champagne (and flows like foreplay). It may dance along for hours – through the arts, then into history, through political scandals and on to the latest non-fiction you picked up at the FNAC. French men love to discuss and dissect, and what’s sexier than humor and intelligence while sipping a fine Bordeaux?
- And speaking of Bordeaux, savoring is the name of the game. Savoring food, wine, a fragrance, a glorious day – and your company as a woman – all of which makes for the most elegant of preludes to amour, and after all, isn’t lovemaking the ultimate pleasure to be savored?
- A small, romantic gesture (un geste) – or simply a show of attentiveness and good manners – is the rule, rather than the exception. It may have been German-American architect and designer Mies van der Rohe who made this line famous – “God is in the details” – but it is surely the French man who lives it, and the woman in his life who benefits.
- Compliments are paid – and not just for parts of the body (a lovely smile, an engaging curve, your overall appearance), but with great nuance, and to you, as a woman. Those compliments are bestowed with eye contact (the very best kind), and are always sincere.
- Real women aren’t discarded quite so easily as in the States. Nip, tuck, or a nubile physique is not required for a real man of any culture. But my experience with French men in particular reflects that this is true. Perhaps it is that notion of savoring. A woman of a certain age, with all her… knowledge, is a treasure to be revered and cherished. And if a younger man is in the mix? No labels or judgments. Ah, Chéri … Surely Colette isn’t the only one deserving of a Chéri in her life?
- Senses are never, never neglected. Eye contact, the register of your voice, the responsiveness in his… And French men find our accents adorable. Taste? Mais oui. Along with touch, scent, and body language, all of which are of the utmost importance. And speaking of the sensual, that brings me to French lingerie. Is it any wonder that Aubade, Lise Charmel, Chantelle, Simone Pérèle and so many of the finest luxury lingerie designers are French? These lovely bits of satin and lace (and Eiffel-worthy engineering) are luxe, but also necessity. For women of every age. And French men are most appreciative.
- Now that we’re dressed (for undressing?) let’s touch – tenderly – on that topic. I won’t say that I’ve never had enchanting encounters in the country of my birth (it wouldn’t be true), or that every French man is a spectacular lover. But I will venture that a French man who isn’t responsive, curious, playful, and attentive – in all things shared – has been the exception, in my experience. I will admit to a certain bias; my pheromones appear to function best on French soil. (Doesn’t everyone need a Parisian adventure?)
- French men take the Green Movement very seriously. While the men I’ve known love their showers and baths, in the name of saving on natural resources, they generously invite their women to join them. Friendly and socially responsible. Now what could be better than that?
- Games, and laughter are welcome. (And dare I say toys as well?) Open minds make for splendid fun when it comes to the boudoir, or anywhere else around the house in the name and game of amour. And frankly, all of life’s precious moments. From wordplay to role play, French men excel in this arena. It’s all about quality, mutual enjoyment, and respect for what is healthy and natural with far fewer taboos.
My personal tour of the French landscape: from Paris to Provence
Of course there are wonderful men and women everywhere, and likewise, more than a few who won’t be your type. Or mine. But the French men I’ve called loved ones, lovers, and friends are so delectable, wry, charming, genuine, and sexy – hélas, I simply haven’t enough adjectives to do them justice.
Another mention, if you’ll allow? The French do adore a good argument. So if you love your language skills, get ready for some serious attention to linguistic intention. And a little friction never hurts now and then. After all, you will have to kiss and make up.
As for the dénouement – if and when a love affair comes to a natural end, my French men remain friends. What could be better? And having had long distance relationships, French-American style – I’ll just say they were transcontinentally divine, and the friendships that remain, even more sublime.
Ooooh! I envy your French liaisons!
I’ve heard that one of the sexiest things about French men is that they REALLY focus on you when you’re saying something. Eye contact, full attention, thoughtful response. Ah…
Ha! My favorite is #9 – taking showers and baths together is environmentally friendly!
Let’s talk about Australian men (actors, specifically). Eric Bana, Sam Worthington, Dominic Purcell, Hugh Jackman. Rarrr!
I cannot speak for others, of course, but it is my experience that when you are in the company of a French gentleman, you are very much the center of his attention. And it is subtle, intense, flirtatious, and delicious. And tends to bring out the best in a woman, in return. (Should I offer my communication services to the French Travel Board?)
Eva – Australian men! I’ve never journeyed Down Under. Perhaps you could enlighten us? I’m all for world peace. And what better way to encourage it than one-on-one interaction?
I am on the periphery of this one, but I will say that I am hopelessly spellbound by French Moroccan men. Oh my pineapple. I have had the most delicious and intoxicating romances with them in my previous life that I can’t help but wonder…
“Spellbound.” Glorious word, Kelly. And oui, I get it. And what about Zinedine Zidane the French-Algerian soccer player? (At times, controversial, but very hot.)
Um, wow, I think I’m packing my bags! I’m so glad you included Jean Reno in your list – definitely hot!
Oh Mary – I’m so glad you agree with me on Réno. I have adored him for so long – in everything from The Professional to French Kiss to his slightly neurotic role in a quirky film with Juliette Binoche – Jet Lag.
And to Kelly’s point, I believe technically he is Moroccan (of Spanish parentage). And Réno is the perfect illustration that charisma has nothing to do with classic good looks. It is something indescribable. Talent. Smarts. A presence. A powerfully sexy presence in the case of Réno.
While I’m afraid that I have never had the chance to experience the wonders of French men personally, I am suddenly very glad that Husband spent some time studying in France. Ahem…
And a big, fat oui to Jean Reno!
I agree, there’s a kernel of truth to many stereotypes. I like that you’re drawn to French men like that. I was drawn to Italian women. I married one, and enjoyed her Italian family. After the divorce, my tastes changed, and now I’m drawn to South American women. Enjoying that kernel of truth…
Tell us more… like details of those French liaisons. You gave us a nibble and left us hanging!!!!! Kidding, I liked this post, and I’ve heard some of these same things, so must be true.
I have not sampled French men, but I have sampled the cuisine. And any country that embraces cheese, bread, and wine with every repas and invented crepes with Nutella must surely be doing something right.
Well, I am completely biased because I have an ex-French man and I find him revolting. But then again, he did seduce me once upon a time. It’s too bad it turned out to be an act. Oh, and he smelled. The smoking was terrible.
Hmm. Rebecca. I would prescribe the following (a different French man!) except you’re married, aren’t you?
But for anyone who has had your experience, here are my thoughts.
I have an ex from a country other than France, which shall remain unspecified. However, I recognize that there are wondrous men (and women) from that nation, with whom I might (and have) gotten along exceptionally well. I have had friends (and yes, more than friends) from that particular part of Europe. They were divine.
As with all things, we have good and bad experiences. And hopefully recognize them as such. Individuals, and individual experiences.
(I also have one or two French friends who smoke. I loathe smoking, but that doesn’t mean I loathe the smoker. My French friends who smoke are extremely polite about exiting for the occasional cigarette, out of doors.)
I found myself riveted to every word of this post.
I second Jean Reno. Hot, hot, hot.
My weakness has been for Italian men. And I am swearing them off forever more. NO MORE ITALIAN MEN!
I love a good argument myself. Better brush up my French — or can American men be molded into Frenchmen? (smile)
Wonderful words for a luscious type of man! I am not even sure I could pick just one – Reno, Duris, Barr – YUM! Of course, I had a huge crush, growing up, on Jean-Claude Killy.
Bonjour ma puce !
En ce jour de fête nationale américaine , je t’envoie tous mes meilleurs voeux de bonne journée ensoleillée … Ce sera Meximieux !
Je te lis de temps en temps , toujours avec plaisir , et en souriant !
Kisses from Provence .
Quelle surprise – meximieux, et même mexi-le-meilleur ? Une journée ensoleillée, oui, et moi, inondée par du paperasse (ça existe, un tel mot ? Punaise … ) Contente que tu me lises de temps en temps et que tu dises coucou ici – n’hésite pas à me visiter plus souvent. Et l’article sur le fait que l’homme français soit irrésistible ? Tu es d’accord ?
Bisous, cher ami. J’espère que tu passes un été agréable. Je pensais à toi, en effect, il y a quelques jours. Des souvenirs qui me font sourire.
Paperasse ! Oh , oui , je connais , je dois te battre à plate couture dans ce domaine ! Je suis inondé de papiers en tout genre , n’est-ce pas une spécificité française ?? Quant aux hommes français , ils ne sont pas meilleurs que les autres , mais les bons sont apréciés par celles qui ont les valeurs d’avant , puisque c’est avec regret que les “cagoles” ( tatooed stupid tacky blonde bimbos , pour résumer) dominent le terrain médiatique aujourd’hui ! Kisses to all …