Something is wrong. Very wrong. I am experiencing strange symptoms. Surges of systems that are strangely unsettling. A desire to clean. To organize. Oh. Em. Gee. A desire to dust! Naturally, I’m stymied. First off, the very thought is just not… moi. Secondly, the concept of energy for such an uncharacteristic undertaking is, well, a […]
Help! I need a new cell phone!
Help, please! I need advice. Seriously. I give good phone, and I’d like to get some, too. But I’ve been limping along on a hand-me-down 3-year old cell that’s on its last legs. I need suggestions – truly. Cell phone requirements Here are my requirements: small (to put in jeans pocket, small purses, or cleavage) […]
What ever happened to. . . Dr. Ruth?
Remember Dr. Ruth? What ever happened to the pint-sized sexpert who so sweetly answered everything you always wanted to know about sex, and I don’t mean Woody Allen-style? Whatever happened to. . . Don’t you love those “Whatever happened to” stories and series? I do. Well… sometimes. Other times I find them annoying. Or worse, […]
Real men don’t wear pumps
Call me crazy, but every time I see a man in high heels – not lifts, mind you – high heels – ladies high heels – I shake my head. Do you hear me Real Housewives of Atlanta? I’m not talking cross-dressing, drag queens, or trannies in pumps. To them, I say go for it, […]
Squirrels in the attic. Losing my marbles?
I’m hearing noises. No kidding. Scary noises. It’s not quite dark and though it’s breezy, branches scratching against the windows, these are other noises. Scrambling, scurrying, creature noises, overhead. And I’ve been hearing these sounds for about two weeks. Now let’s face facts – while I don’t drink absinthe (which may scramble anyone’s sense of […]
Amante à Paris ou « Maman t’as pas ri ! » (La vie est une saloperie !)
Amante à Paris ou « Maman t’as pas ri ! » (La vie est une saloperie !) version anglaise / English version / © D A Wolf Hier soir, j’ai reçu un coup de fil sur mon portable – le numéro, je ne l’ai pas reconnu. Mais le pays, si – 33. Et moi, aux […]
French Sex vs Proper Parenting
Yesterday, late afternoon, my cell flashed a number I didn’t recognize, but with a country code that I did. 33. France. That fine, flourishing, familiar place where I have friends – and lovers. The country that is home to my heart, where the streets energize me, the wine transports me, the art – even more […]
Breast-Fed Boomer Boy: How NOT to Pick Up a Girl
Baby Boomer pickup line… FAIL.
Chivalry, Part Deux (Teen Style)
Teenage boy + long school day + driving lesson = London Broil, potatoes, au jus with mushrooms, and one giant glass of milk. My 16-year old son waits politely until I sit down. I glance at my watch as he inhales. I sip my wine and cut into my meat. Four minutes. Not a record, […]
Tricky trilogy of questions pushes parents to ponder
Placenta anyone? Not a subject I expected to be discussing with a two-year old. But that was the case, when it came to my first-born. And turns out that was one of the easier topics to get through, and the memories of those conversations are quite vivid! Yesterday was his 18th birthday, and I’ve been […]