Fab Friday Motivation… and a (Healthy Eating) Win

Sometimes, a small victory carries major impact. Especially on a Friday, when resolve may wane in the face of weekend temptations — at least, on the healthy eating front! As for my small win, it is the latest round in a decades-long battle of the bulge. And that particular war zone was one I thought I had beaten back ages ago until the past few years.

Certainly, a “dieting win” is small potatoes in the grand scheme of things, and in light of world events that seem to be taking place at a dizzying pace. Perhaps the pint-size and personal nature of a small win is helpful in a way, a sort of reminder that we can successfully fight certain battles.

I have been trying to lose a stubborn and significant amount of weight for more than a year now — weight that is significant on a woman of Piaf-petite stature. And I have been living in yo-yo hell with intermittent successes quickly overtaken by regaining… and then some.

Yes, yes, I know. We can blame so many factors (legitimate factors at that) — losing weight over age 50 is a real challenge — and this is the midlife story of so many women. But for some of us, our sense of self-worth is so inextricably linked to body image issues that significant weight gain negatively impacts everything we undertake.

Now, the scale tends to fluctuate a few pounds routinely, which elicits a scowl or a grin on any given morning I dare to (oh so gingerly) step on. But this morning, roughly 18 or 19 pounds down from where I felt extraordinarily uncomfortable in my own body, I relied on a better measure of success: trying on my fave “almost” skinny jeans. These are jeans I have been unable to wear in two and a half years. Fitting into them is a sign of real progress — still a ways to go before I’m truly “myself” again — but a size where I am comfortable enough in my skin to feel like “me.”

Drumroll please, cue the brass band, and set off the celebratory sparklers! Not only could I squirm my way into the jeans, but they snapped closed, they zipped up, and I could breathe!

Will they be comfier when I’m three or four pounds down (and “trimmer”)? Definitely. But the motivational value of getting into them is HUGE.

Determination, perseverance, and discipline have never been problems for me. Yes, of course, there are days I give in to defeat, and… well… I’ve been known to wallow. But I can’t stand myself when I do, and when I reach a point of sufficient self-pity, I am of the try-try-again school of life. Part of the combat I must engage in — battling back my own overly critical self-talk, which is both unhelpful and unkind.

I’ve come close to giving up on losing this weight numerous times this past year, dogged by chronic pain that has had me semi-immobilized periodically. But at heart, I am a fighter. Pain and limitations from injuries sustained long ago don’t affect my skills or competence, but they certainly put me in a cranky mood (and kill any hope of a social life). Completely under control two years ago, these nagging sources of “inconvenience” have been exacerbated by the physical layout of the space that I am renting. And… for me, even low-low-low calorie counts — 300 or 400 calories a day — won’t do the trick when it comes to losing weight. Not without exercise. And of course, we all know that extreme reduced calorie counts are unhealthy, unsustainable, and counterproductive.

Healthy eating must be a way of life, period. And most of us feel better when we give our bodies (and minds) the proper fuel. And in case you’re wondering, among my much-adored healthy foods are brown rice (adding flax seed and red onion), boiled beets (with homemade light dijon-lemon vinaigrette), and piles of raw spinach! (Color me Popeye.)

But if you can’t burn calories due to physical limitations, how in the hell do you ever lose weight???

Thanks to an excellent physical therapist who has worked attentively to space my appointments out to give me maximum impact for the allotted number of sessions — don’t get me started on the inanities of our healthcare system — I was able to really gain some traction in all senses of the word about four weeks ago. That meant slowly getting back to walking on a regular basis, and truly that has done the trick. And yes, I have had one other secret: a nifty, free app that has enabled me to track not only calories and exercise but nutrition and water intake. Both of these are especially important to how well we feel, how much energy we have, how well we sleep, and the extent to which our bodies are capable of healing from injuries.

If you are curious to know which app that is, just ask. I have found it to be remarkably easy to use, and incredibly informative as to my own eating behaviors.

I will add one other factor which has not been insignificant: dental work, which has made the prospect of eating anything, much less too much of a good thing, less than appetizing on any number of days.

All I can say is this: To be able to slip into a pair of jeans that make me feel at home in my own body is a very tasty treat indeed. And it is a far more delectable and motivating treat than any indulgent item of the weekend dinner menu.

So how are you feeling about yourself these days? Do you still find your self-image linked to what clothes do or don’t fit, or your size and bodily proportions in general? Have you been able to shed any preoccupation with how you look relative to size or shape — preoccupation you engaged in when you were younger? And if so, is it just a matter of practicing “hey I’m done with this, take me as I am” or something else? If you’re single in midlife and hoping to partner up, or searching for work in middle-age, is the pressure to compete by “looking good” more of a practical consideration?

 

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