Does leading a purposeful life keep you healthier as well as happier?
A recent Time Health brief suggests that having purpose means aging well, or at least, aging better than if we are operating without focus or goals.
I imagine that most of you, like me, don’t find this surprising. But that fact may not be sufficient to ratchet up the “meaning” factor in our lives as we move beyond empty nest, an active career, or for that matter running a household and caring for a spouse.
And we should! A new study ties “purpose” to more than cognitive functioning, but to physical functioning in older Americans.
As it is, Time reminds us:
… purposeful living has already been linked to other aspects of well-being, like a longer life, lower risk of disease, better sleep and healthier behaviors.
Do Interests = Purpose?
Don’t we take purpose for granted as we are busily pursuing jobs and raising kids? We’re in the thick of things. We are chasing dreams, education, jobs, relationships, money… and all the things that each of these mean as opportunities in our lives.
Yet as our lives become less busy (if indeed they do), then what?
The question of living with direction or goals led me to consider the notion of purpose versus interest. I certainly have many interests, I’m curious, and I know that when I’m actively learning I feel good. But is that the same as living a life of purpose? Can a passion be transformed into purpose as we grow older?
Is the notion of purpose really about meaning? Is it always about meaning? Isn’t it often about survival?
If it isn’t about survival, is it sufficient to live with intermittent moments of purpose?
Family Gives Us Purpose
At this stage in midlife, I certainly don’t live with the same “true north” as I did when raising my children. Throughout those years, whatever challenges popped up, I fought — and fought hard — because anything else was unacceptable. I was a mother. Mothers protect their kids ferociously, right?
These days, when my young adult sons need me for something, of course, I’m right there. Isn’t that true for most of us? Don’t our parental instincts snap right back into place? Don’t we feel like our old, active, parenting selves? Even when it’s tiring or worrisome, doesn’t this reinvigorated “purpose” feel good?
Isn’t the need for purpose part of the reason that retirees, if able, undertake ventures in giving back?
Viewing ourselves as useless feels lousy. Drifting feels lousy. Both, if you ask me, lead to the blues, or worse, depression. And doesn’t this lead to a break-down in health?
Get Out There. Stay Visible!
Even as we age, though it may pose challenges, we can stay informed, involved, speak out. We can connect to others, in person or online.
Is any of this easy? Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no. But we all need to feel valuable, like we matter, like we belong — to another person, to family and friends, to a team in the workplace, to any number of communities where we are treated with respect.
Treated like we are making a contribution. Treated like we are needed. Treated like we are visible.
Isn’t invisibility part of our struggle as we age? If not the struggle, the fear?
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YES, I AGREE.
WE DO NEED A PURPOSE even if it's suggesting to the older generation how to try a new lipstick or being there for the GRAND kids or in my case for the GRAND PIGGY!
WE also NEED PASSIONS OF Things in our lives…….. a passion for gardening, fashion, helping others. Passions are IMPORTANT for us to stay connected!
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Really thought provoking questions D.A. I guess the answers are as varied as individual needs, though age may be an important parameter here. Activity/engagement is vital at any age. The depth or quality of that engagement really depends on personal requirements. I know many who are fulfilled belonging to a social club, playing cards several times a week, and traveling when the spirit moves. Personally, I need so much more. I need to read substantively…to always learn something new, to hone what I already know, and apply that knowledge…to be engaged in a way that enables me to share/impart what I’ve learned. And for me, there is only one expiration date on that.
I share your view completely, Angela.
Survival is one of the more purposeful ways to spend one’s life, and probably what humans did for millennia. As with so many things (what we eat, how much we exercise), what we evolved for is no longer needed. We can survive easily, and by doing things that, in the larger picture, are utterly meaningless. In fact, it’s almost as if the more meaningless, the better they are paid (banking, gaming).
I was just reflecting on the people who worked at the nursing home/hospice where my father spent his final months. What hard work, both physically (lifting people) and emotionally (becoming attached to people who will die soon). These people make a huge contribution.
I love this piece. It really is so timely and hits home for me right now. Pretty much all my life, until this year, I always thought at some point I would be a wife and mom, in addition to having a career. My child-bearing years came and went, as did a childless marriage which ended in divorce 5 years ago. Now, in my 40s, having aged out of childbearing years and not feeling optimistic that I’ll be with a long-term partner for life, I’m faced with re-framing my life, goals, objectives, and future, as well as my definition of “family.” As you said above, Family Gives Us Purpose, and family is what drives most people through life. With no spouse, no parents and no children, I think I’ve tried to create a semblance of a family through close friends, but have found that’s not very realistic, for whatever reason – life and other obligations get in the way, and I can’t expect friends to fill the void of a parent, a child, or a spouse. The reality is, I could very well be alone for the rest of my life, so I have to carve out a fulfilling life on my own, and I now know that I’m the only one I can count on ultimately to be there for me. Anyway, I know I can re-design my future, it’s just taking some time, adjusting and re-framing on my part, and shifting my entire vision of how I thought my mid- to late- life would look…. I try not to get anxious about growing old alone, but it’s a daunting thought. I just have to trust that it will all work out. I recently read a great article about a woman (never married, never had kids) who lived to be over 100 years old, and lived in her own apartment until she passed away – I can only hope & pray I’ll be that independent, relatively healthy, & able-bodied until the end!
Hi Andrea – I read your comments and I feel that you are retelling my story as well. I feel the same. I’ve found this blog somehow because I have been reading and searching on how others have redesigned their lives…
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It’s so true we, as parents, like to feel needed once our children are “grown and on their own.” Even if it’s just to be asked advice. Problems tend to arise when we’re available all the time….the tendency to begin to feel taken advantage of begins to surface. And, then we may start to become enablers because we want to “help.” Yes, I’m speaking from experience! I do agree we all need to live a purposeful life…and helping others is a satisfying way of feeling a sense of purpose. But, as with everything, moderation is the key to not feeling overwhelmed the other way. Too much “purpose” can lead to overcommitment and burn out. That’s where I seem to be now. I’d sort of like to just “drift” for a while….on a beach….with my toes in the sand…… 🙂 Hope you’re doing well, my friend. xoxo