Sometimes I think they had it right back in my grandmother’s day. A passel full of troubles? Don an outrageous hat. One with a big, beautiful brim. Embellish your lapel or collar with two brooches, maybe three.
Then you can go out and face anything, head held high.
No hat? No pins? No mid-century options?
Okay. Here’s the contemporary Plan B… a little pampering at the day spa.
Now, I can’t say I’ve ever been much for the usual girly-girl preoccupations or self-care, though I certainly have nothing against it. Manicure, pedicure, facial… they’re just not my thing. And the one time I went to a day spa (it was a gift), as sparkly and pretty as everything was, I was wildly uncomfortable, I couldn’t relax, and all in all, I’d rather be shoe shopping.
On the other hand, if I could avail myself of full body massage (by someone who knows what to do with all the spots that ail me)… I can’t help but think that would be heavenly. Or, maybe a soaking tub, a few tea lights, a bit of jazz, a great book…
My mother wasn’t much for pampering either, and neither was her mother; my grandmother was a woman I adored and looked up to. So presumably, like many women, I “absorbed” the behaviors of my closest female role models, and consciously or not, I made them my own.
And the affinity for hats and brooches? Though I wear neither, I’ll chalk that up to some vague and wistful homage to my grandmother, who, in the 1940s, surely did.
Speaking of fabulous forties looks, check this out! It’s a screenshot of an old film I saw a few months back. I’m drawing a blank on the actors and title, but get a load of the hat! The brooches! Imagine the attitude! (And since this is early forties, I’m certainly hoping I’m not violating copyright with my screen capture.)
I suspect my mother, as a teen and young woman, enjoyed her share of those same accessories. I know she had a passion for pearls, and she had two drawers full of costume jewelry.
Still surrounded by boxes after my move last year, I continue to unearth objects I didn’t know I had, including odds and ends that were hers. For instance, I found an unopened box three weeks ago that was jammed with smaller boxes of brooches and pins, charms and bracelets, gloves and hankies. Remember hankies? They were often monogrammed, lace-trimmed, neatly folded and tucked in a purse.
There were no hats among the found treasure, sadly, though I have foggy recollections of hat shopping with my mother as a child, especially around Easter when selections were plentiful, and trying on every manner of veiled, feathery, straw or felt variation in the local department store. However, I did come across this pin (or brooch), which I’m now madly in love with. It’s a sort of dragon I think, quite heavy, and certainly serves up attitude!
But oh, the hats. My mother looked stunning in hats — she had one of those gorgeous, symmetrical faces that bore them impeccably — though by the mid-1960s she rarely wore them. Times were changing, styles were changing, women’s priorities were shifting, and with them of course, the appropriate garb.
Clearly, finding that box with its accessories going back to the forties and fifties has brought a flood of memories, enhanced by the occasional black and white photo that captures my mother or my grandmother when they were younger than I am now.
I’ve often wondered what they would be like if they were alive today — my grandmother especially, as a woman for whom I have so much affection and admiration. How would she spend her time? How would she unwind?
I also wonder about women of my age who are comfortable in salons and spas, with their mani-pedis utterly routine, and entirely at ease spreading themselves out under a white nubby towel as a stranger works through the kinks in their necks and backs, hands scented with fragrant oils. I confess, I envy the ability to indulge and enjoy. Are they at home with these activities because of a maternal behavioral legacy? Or did I somehow miss the mani-pedi-pampering gene?
Well, these days I wish I hadn’t. I could use the relaxation. And spa services are easier to find than grand and glittering brooches, not to mention big, beautiful, audacious hats.
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I enjoy any kind of pampering.The one I indulge in the most is a monthly facial.THe work they do on the neck and shoulders alone is worth the price. I always sleep MY BEST that night after the PAMPERING.
Pedicure is a delight especially in the summer months……. to pop off that bed and SEE COLOR DOWN THERE IS SPECIAL. Puts a smile on your face.
I often see men getting a pedicure and realized one day they cannot reach their toes to trim the nails!!!!!
Pedicures lasts for over two months………..
I say TRY IT!
XX
I confess Contessa, I do tend to my tootsies on my own. (Currently rocking Revlon’s raven red.)
🙂
I’ve never found spa events relaxing. Yet, my daughter felt I missing something essential from life, so she purchased a half day spa package for me as a gift. She knew this would take convincing, so she purchased an additional package for my best friend. So we went…the facility was wonderful, the package included facials, French massages, body sugaring, manicures, pedicures, and a healthy lunch. My friend was in heaven…I was a good soldier, though being manipulated for six hours was getting to be quite tedious; yet, everything was fine enough, except for the pedicure portion…I just don’t like anyone touching my feet. Don’t know why. Never spent time with a therapist trying to find out, I just don’t like anyone messing with my feet. Thinking I might need some reinforcement, my daughter purchased another spa package as a Christmas gift, which I, six months later, returned to her, for her indulgence.
But, when I need to decompress and feed my soul, any one of these things will do the trick: visiting art galleries and museums, browsing through a wonderful antique shop, a trip into the city (NYC)…breakfast at a tiny café in the West Village, then browsing for a few hours at “Three Lives & Company”, one of the few independent booksellers left alive…a cappuccino at an outdoor café and people watching…you get the idea. I can do these things with a friend (super enjoyable) or alone, engaging others here and there. That’s what I consider a spa package.
Brooches…my absolute love…I have so many, and prefer them to necklaces. Though my wardrobe is more casual these days, I will still wear a brooch, albeit a small one, on a good quality t-shirt (one that can hold up to a pin), when I’m out and about. Formal, semi-formal, work, casual…brooches are the way to go! Thanks for this enjoyable post!
Six hours??? Eeeesh! You were indeed a good soldier! (I’m with you on all your other decompression options. I’d take those in a heartbeat over the spa.)
Now you have me curious about your brooches. Vintage? Antique? Family pieces?
The brooches are from all periods, though the most precious are my mother’s. My father gave her a gold brooch in a “V” for victory sign with a liberty torch of diamonds coming up through the center. Animals are a favorite theme, as are turquoise Native American pieces, flowers, Victorian designs, and pieces from places I’ve traveled, etc. I guess I’ve never met a brooch I didn’t like.
🙂
I have never enjoyed pampering very much and keep those fingers and toes neatly cared for myself. As for facials, I tried them but never could see much difference before or after. Now, for a deep tissue massage that hurts in all the right places, oh yes! But truly, give me a beautiful silk scarf, and I will feel wonderful. I guess, my practical side is my guiding force as that scarf will still be gorgeous 20 years later. ?) However, I would love to be one of those women who loves to be pampered. They have that certain something….
This is a delightful reflection – how fortunate you are to enjoy your family jewelry! I am not one to pamper myself with mani/pedis or facials. I haven’t even been to the hair salon in more than 18 months! However, I adore a one hour massage. It is completely indulgent, doesn’t require the commitment of an entire day and is best when followed by an evening without commitments. Then I can complete my self care with a bath, my own pedicure or just luxuriate with little “to do.”
I have taken my daughter for one manicure and she loved it. I can see us doing it again for special occasions, but I’m too frugal and practical for it to be a regular practice.
The key, I think, is to discern what self care means for each of us. I loved reading the above ladies’ ways to indulge.
I am lucky! In a nearby town we have a Korean spa where the specialty is the body scrub. Just about every part of the body is scrubbed vigorously at least 3 times and you can even see the dead skin slough off of your arms, if you sneak a peek. They also do the body moisturizing treatments, facials, massages, manis, pedis and there are steam rooms, saunas and hot pools to soak in as well as hot rooms for relaxing and a cafe with delicious Korean food offerings. One price for all the pools, hot rooms and sauna/steam. Extra for the extras. You can spend the day (and spend a bundle, or go with a friend so you can scrub each other.) It’s heaven and I try to get there once or twice a year with my daughter.
I do my own toes, and it certainly is uplifting. L’Oreal deep red creme is my winter go to but in the summer I go a bit crazy with turquoise, orange and even yellow. Sinful Colors makes that possible.
I have a few brooches as well, after picking over my mother’s rhinestone jewels (with her permission) from the 40’s and a few I have piked up in antique shops over the years. My fav is a large, white bird, spreading it’s wings to fly. I’ve worn it on a hat and on a belt as well as the usual place.
I’m feeling more relaxed and indulgent just reading this post and comments. Massage for me? No. But a facial that includes neck and décolletage attention? I’m in zen heaven. A good book? One of the best relaxing journeys I can think of.