• Home
  • About
  • Around
  • Contributors
  • Applause

Daily Plate of Crazy

  • Relationships
    • Dating
    • Love
    • Marriage
    • Divorce
    • Life After Divorce
  • Parenting
    • Advice
    • Babies and Kids
    • Tweens and Teens
    • College Kids
    • Single Moms
    • Older Moms
    • Dads
    • Family Dynamics
    • Money Matters
    • Work-Life
  • Health
  • Sex
  • Women’s Issues
  • Fashion & Style
    • Chaussures
    • Fashion
    • Style
    • Lingerie
    • Interiors
  • Culture
  • More
    • Art Art Art
    • Business
    • En Français
    • Entertainment
      • Mad Men
      • Mad Men Reviews
      • Real Housewives
      • Movies
      • Celebrities
      • Work of Art Reviews
    • Flash
    • Food & Recipes
    • Lifestyle
    • Morning Musing
    • Starting Over
    • Technology
    • Travel
    • Women and Money
You are here: Home / Morning Musing / Not Your Typical Holiday Message, But…

Not Your Typical Holiday Message, But…

December 25, 2016 by D. A. Wolf 1 Comment

This time of year we pay attention to giving: We volunteer, we write checks to good causes, we reach out to others with whom we may have lost touch. We spoil our children and our pets; we make a point to be kinder to strangers.

christmas-ornaments-closeupIt isn’t that we wouldn’t reach out the other 364 days of the year, hoping to strengthen relationships and community as part of our daily lives, but those daily lives are often taut, fraught, and overwrought.

We’re stressed, we’re pressed, we’re just trying to make it through the day.

If that’s the case for you — it has been for me — then I remind you to reach out, just as I remind myself, on a more regular basis.

Reach out to someone who needs a shoulder, an ear, an hour of your time talking over coffee, a smile.

Reach out to someone who needs a job, a referral for a job, a tangible lead, a connection that might lead to a lead — even if only for temporary work to sustain them through stormy economic times. Reach out to a loved one who is hurting, an acquaintance who is struggling with depression, a neighbor who appears to be alone but puts up a brave face and you know it’s a brave face.

God knows, we can’t escape the horror and disappointment that insinuates itself into our attitudes; the news depicts the world as a cruel and frightening place. And it is.

Our illusions of “doing the right thing” and reaping the rewards? Our delusions of a truly safe environment? There’s no such thing as safety. We’re fooling ourselves if we think otherwise.

Yet there’s no lack of good people, generous hearts, staunch acts of bravery.

I choose to think of those people, those hearts, those acts. I am absolutely convinced they far outnumber those who would terrorize, who would take advantage, who would turn their backs. And those good people and good hearts inspire me. They motivate me. They beat back fatigue, despair, complacency. They trigger action, even if for me, for now, that action is only through words, here, on the virtual page.

To say that we need to care for our planet and care for each other seems trite, obvious, absurdly simplistic. Yet we seem to need constant reminding to look beyond immediate needs and preoccupations to a broader, longer-term universe of concerns… and to comport ourselves accordingly.

Holding the World in Our HandsTo recognize that there are people who are troubled and who need us, to recognize that no person “gets there” alone — wherever “there” is — and then to act on that knowledge, is, to my mind, a reminder of the best of who we are as human beings.

Am I moralizing? I suppose so.

Am I speaking to myself as well as to you? No doubt.

I’m also acknowledging that what gives my life meaning is to “contribute.” To do some good. To give back. I recognize that I need to give more than to take, to love more than to be loved.

And I believe that’s true for many of you as well.

So I encourage you to reach out, as I encourage myself. Reach out to your adult child with whom you have a strained relationship. Reach out to an aging parent, whether he or she is fully aware of your presence or not. Reach out to that stranger who seems lost, and to whom a few words of conversation may be a godsend. Reach out by phone, by text, by email, by Skype, or with a pen in hand as you put it to paper and jot a few words.

Sure, as we hit November and December, we tell ourselves to spread seasonal cheer and do good deeds. But these reminders should be part of our consciousness every day, not solely during our annual gatherings.

During the night, I was reading through comments on several articles here, at Daily Plate of Crazy, some written several years back. These are articles with long-running and ongoing conversations concerned with growing older in America; losing a job in America; finding oneself a certain age, unmarried or childless, and thus feeling very much alone — and marginalized.

Not just marginalized, but fearful, despondent, angry.

I also see enormous compassion from those of you who read and comment, seeking to console, to assist, to uplift one another.

I was reading comments like this from Sunny, and this from David.

And so many more.

These comments are heartbreaking. They’re also motivating.

If I write about these subjects regularly — in particular about my peers who find themselves reeling in midlife — it is because I have lived these scenarios and understand their pervasive impacts. I know there are no easy answers, but society throwing us away is not only unacceptable — it’s outrageously stupid.

We need to stand up, speak out, reach out.

Mature Woman Dreaming of a Better LifeThese are inelegant words, hastily penned, but very much heartfelt.

A final note on privacy related issues. Although many of us wish to help each other, forming communities both real and virtual, it is essential to respect personal boundaries.

Each of us, myself included, is willing to share certain aspects of our lives in various forums. That doesn’t mean that we’re obligated to share more than feels comfortable, just as we wouldn’t and shouldn’t do so face to face.

The online world can be a powerful force for good, yet we’ve all seen that the opposite is equally true. Our “tell all” society suffers from oversharing, from accelerated timelines to know someone, and from unrealistic expectations. Oversharing isn’t necessary. It isn’t smart. It may not be safe. Trust is rightly built over time, and protective boundaries exist for good reason.

So exercise due diligence in making your online connections, but by all means if they serve you and others you care about, do make them.

As I glance at the clock still hesitant to wake my son, knowing we will sit with coffee by the tree and open a few silly little gifts, I count my blessings. My family is extremely small, and only one of my boys is here for the holiday this year. A friend is visiting as well, which adds to the festive spirit, to the warmth, and to the realization that we don’t need a great deal to feel good, valuable, content.

The world is a challenging place, and many of us believe we have a steady stream of battles to fight if we wish to protect the planet, much less our fundamental humanity. We cannot abandon the basics. We must savor our moments of joy, our sources of joy, our understanding that serving others — caring for each other, creating and sustaining community, reaching out to help any way we reasonably can — is a year-round undertaking, and equally, a year-round gift in the giving itself.

However you spend this day, this week, these upcoming weeks and months, I thank you for reading, for sharing your stories, and for reaching out — to me. I wish you well.

xmas-season_folk-santa-with-ornaments

 

You May Also Enjoy

  • No Such Thing as Safety
  • Tell All? Don’t Think So!
  • Do You Have to Live It to Understand It?
  • Over 50, Unemployed, Depressed, and Powerless

 

FacebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinmailFacebooktwitterpinterestlinkedinmail

Filed Under: Morning Musing Tagged With: aging, asking for help, Christmas, community, cultural values, economy, family, giving is the best cure for not having, holidays, unemployment, work life

Comments

  1. Angela Muller says

    December 26, 2016 at 8:07 pm

    I’ve enjoyed, respected and reflected on so many of your posts, and yet, this is by far the most powerful. The culmination of reality and raw emotion with the call to action. May your resolve…may all our resolves strengthen with this new year, for we have so much more to give.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

 

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Follow Us

FacebooktwitterrssinstagramFacebooktwitterrssinstagram

Search Daily Plate of Crazy

Subscribe for Your Daily Serving

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Categories

Archives

Recent Comments

  • Anonymous on Does Effort Matter If You Don’t Get Results?
  • D. A. Wolf on Mantras
  • D. A. Wolf on Over 50, Unemployed, Depressed and Powerless
  • Marty on When You Marry a Loner
  • Tina on Would You Brag About Your Age?
  • Sal on Over 50, Unemployed, Depressed and Powerless
  • Open More Doors If You Want More Skills - 3 Plus International on Open More Doors If You Want More Skills
  • Leonora C on Over 50, Unemployed, Depressed and Powerless
  • Maree on Mantras
  • kate on DON’T Call Me Dear!
  • Stephanie on Narcissism. Manipulation. Keeping Score.
  • S on When a Couple Wants Different Things

The Makeover Series

Daily Plate of Crazy: The Makeover Series

Essays From Guest Writers

Daily Plate of Crazy: Essay Series

Daily Reads

Daily Plate of Crazy Blogroll

Follow

Follow

Notices

All content on this site, DailyPlateOfCrazy.com, is copyrighted by D. A. Wolf unless copyright is otherwise attributed to guest writers. Do not use, borrow, repost or create derivative works without permission.

© D. A. Wolf 2009-2025. All Rights Reserved.

Parlez-vous francais?

Daily Plate of Crazy: En Français

© D. A. Wolf 2009-2025
All Rights Reserved

Daily Plate of Crazy ™

Privacy Notice

Popular This Month

  • 50 Years old and Starting Over
  • Best Places to Live When You're Over 50 and Reinventing
  • When the Person You Love Is Emotionally Unavailable
  • When a Couple Wants Different Things
  • How to Comfort Someone Who Is Stressed

Food for Thought

  • Why I Choose to Think Like a Man
  • When You Marry a Loner
  • Emotionally Needy Parents
  • Sex vs. Lovemaking: Why Are We So Confused?
  • Think Looks Don't Pay?
  • Rebranding Mediocrity: Why Good Enough Isn't Good Enough

Copyright © 2025 · Metro Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

This site uses cookies for the best browsing experience. By continuing to use this site, you accept our Cookie Policy.
Cookie SettingsACCEPT
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
SAVE & ACCEPT