Serendipity. I’m a fan. I’ve written about it before, and for good reason. Serendipitous encounters have shaped my life in extraordinary ways.
One such encounter landed me the most exciting interview experience of my life with a legendary French artist. Another landed me the father of my children. Still another resulted in an evolution in my career direction that grew from pleasure to passion.
My latest?
Let’s see… I may need a few minutes. Might I mention that there have been many over the past several months?
In fact, the universe has generously granted me a string of fortuitous “accidents” of the most interesting and delightful kind — ranging from the romantic to professional.
What exactly is serendipity, you ask?
Serendipity, By Any Other Name…
I especially like this definition from Dictionary.com:
good fortune; luck… an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident…
Now think about that last bit. It’s important. An aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.
Yes, luck. But to a degree, nudging luck along, and then, when luck drops a shiny nugget of opportunity in your lap, it’s about paying attention. Creating discovery. Allowing that discovery to unloose a sensational series of other ideas and options.
Serendipity is about putting ourselves out there in the Big Wide World, however large or small its actual dimensions… even if that world is your neighborhood, your grandchild’s school, the local Cheers bar, or your newest online community. It’s about paying attention to what others need — from you. Paying attention to how you make them feel. Risking your feelings, your thoughts, your time, your mental energy, your curiosity… for the pure pleasure of the pursuit of that nugget and its promise.
Serendipity and Starting Over
Starting over, starting again, reinvention. These words are on my mind; the activities involved are on my daily to-do lists; the desire and necessity of restarting certain aspects of my life are very, very present.
I’m guessing they are for some of you, too.
Serendipity can help. Understanding that every encounter potentially leads to a positive next step, an unknown and enriching ripple effect, a good deed, a win, a win-win. We need to engage with the world so that serendipity can “happen” and we can optimize the likelihood of almost any element of reinvention — from stumbling into and nurturing job opportunities, to meeting the love of your life.
Does that sound far-fetched? Dramatic? Downright crazy?
Maybe so. Maybe not. I can only speak for myself. Every “restart” of every sort that I’ve succeeded in over the past 20 years has included elements of recognizing potential good fortune — and pushing it along. Serendipitous encounters — encouraged.
And whether we are seeking to change locations, careers, relationship status or something else, and whether we are not “seeking” anything per se, opportunity always benefits from attentiveness and action.
Solitude Is One Thing, Isolation Is Another
Solitude?
I like it. I need it. I crave it when I don’t get enough. The challenge: Solitude can morph into isolation, which is neither healthy nor conducive to creativity.
When you get off the island (something I have to remind myself to do), you can’t help but encounter a spate of new ideas, people, sights, sounds, possibilities — and make something of them.
I will remind you of the discussion on the serendipitous non-quest for discoveries, which is the art of attentiveness that can transform the unexpected into a creative opportunity…
And when serendipitous encounters occur in my life (as two did in recent days), I am reminded that isolation mitigates against this sort of creativity, and isolation can be a problem for many of us who work as individual contributors, creatives, or in remote locations. All the more reason that we must retain our ability to reach out In Real Life with our smiles, our hellos, and engaging others in conversation.
Storing the Spark for Future Use
What is intriguing about these remarkable moments?
Even if it’s impossible to fully act on them now, if we can manage to store them away in some fashion — the sensation of them as positive, provocative, exciting, and energizing — we may find that we rediscover them at just the right time.
For example, consider:
- The business idea you floated with the Physician’s Assistant two years ago when you broke your ankle; and oh by the way, you just ran into her and you’ll pick up where you left off… now you have time, money, and the opportunity to develop the idea…
- The college sweetheart you ran into three years ago but he was going through a divorce, and what do you know… you just bumped into him at Whole Foods and the sparks were flying and he took your number…
- The neighbor who strikes up a conversation about needing to rent a house for two years, and you’re just beginning to plan your two-year sabbatical… Go figure…
Serendipity, Just in Time
My serendipitous encounters of late?
They aren’t exactly these, but… let’s just say, they touch on the benefits of keeping an open heart (and allowing it to fall deliciously where it may); continuing to stay open to opportunities that are old, new, and recurring; and beginning to feel the freedom that comes with knowing that empty nest — finally — is here.
With both my sons now college graduates, after twenty-some years, it’s my turn.
A happy accident?
Hardly an accident; a great deal of work was involved for all.
A happy time? A time to stay open and attentive? A time to take risks?
Absolutely.
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It is always serendipitous to run across one of your posts, Ms. Wolf.
All the best to you in your world. 🙂
Such an important post. It is often too easy to allow the challenges of life to dampen one’s mood and attitude. A classic introvert, I tend to shy away from serendipitous encounters; always preferring more control over my activities and relationships. Yet, when I, at times, am more open to unplanned activities or conversations, I find myself pleasantly fulfilled. This post reminded me that I need to make more of an effort with that.
DA, you likely know that I attribute nothing to chance but all to divine orchestration. As such, I find so very often a previous experience circles around to be exactly the right connection or source for a current situation. The “aha” moment and unfolding of puzzle pieces that fit so well together is exciting and so rewarding!
One of the greatest assets an individual may possess (in my opinion) is to be open to possibility and to remain stubbornly optimistic while living in reality. Sounds like positive things are happening in your world and I hope we get to hear more…!
Serendipity can overlap with synchronicity, which is one of the most interesting ideas I know from the standpoint of cosmology (laws of how the universe works). I’m never sure whether what seems to be chance is actually that, or whether it is a matter of us seeing the perfect novel that results from a million monkeys on typewriters, which are invisible to us. I suspect the main reason I give it credence is because it was originated by Carl Jung, who I deeply respect.
I can say that there are occasional “coincidences” which are pretty spooky. Here is one so odd that I went to the extent of documenting it. A few years back I started trying to make sense of a difficult family relationship. In February of that year a friend broaches the concept of emotional unavailability, which impresses me as relevant to the situation. Nine days later the author of a book on emotional unavailability speaks at the religious gathering I’m attending. The very next day I happen to run into a friend from a distant part of town and in the course of conversation he mentions the Jungian concept of major life changes in middle age, which are often very disruptive.
Now beginning to be intrigued by the idea of synchronicity, when a few weeks later a local presentation on the topic is scheduled, I of course attend. The speaker talks of several practical mechanisms for allowing the underlying wisdom to present. One of these is holding a specific question in mind, then turning on the radio and listening for an answer. In her case, when she didn’t like the perceived answer, she repeated the process, and got the same answer. On the way home, I stop at an eatery and am reliving the talk. Although this establishment was not in the habit of playing music, on this day they are. It is hard to ignore that at the very moment the song is Steven Stills’ “Change Partners”.
I was mindful of the speaker’s caveat that because we are preoccupied with a question we look for answers and see what we want, that we otherwise would have overlooked. If you aren’t looking for a certain item, you don’t notice them around you, but when you are, they are everywhere. Still, the events above made quite an impression. Especially the last.
Loved this expression, “the benefits of keeping an open heart”.
Now I’m a very rational, cerebral person and yet I nurture my childish faith that the world is filled with magic, we just have to keep our eyes – and heart, thanks for this – open. So, is calling it Serendipity just our grown up way of putting it? Maybe. Is Serendipity a fantastic and lovely topic for a webzine called Daily Plate of Crazy? Yes! 😉