This Psych Central post by Linda Sapadin, PhD, Talk Therapy: It’s Not Just Talk, reframes talk therapy by suggesting a revision to its name. While many alternatives to the word ‘talk’ are options, the doctor’s preference would be insight.
‘Insight Therapy.’ I’d say that has a very nice ring. And… it’s right on point.
After all, a good therapist helps us gain new ways of perceiving our behaviors and motivations, and similarly, those of others.
Ideally, insights can lead to positive change.
So why does Dr. Sapadin recommend a sort of rebranding for this tried-and-true therapeutic approach?
As she says:
… it’s because of the name. Talk, talk, talk. Talk is cheap in our society. Everybody’s yakking away about something. So what do we need more talk for?
And of course, how could simply “talking” be useful, especially if we don’t feel as if we’re getting answers?
When Do We Need to Talk?
Most of us feel relief when we let out our worries and challenges. Sure, we can talk to friends, but as I know all too well, that may be an overwhelming experience for them. Furthermore, they aren’t trained to deal with the issues we may bring to the table. A therapist — and yes, there are many types — is explicitly educated, skilled, credentialed and practiced at delivering what we need on the other side of the talking equation.
That, in my opinion, is not only about meticulous listening, but appropriate responses and ongoing interaction.
So what sends us to that theoretical psychotherapeutic or counseling couch, that’s more apt to be a comfy chair?
Stress, confusion, depression. Worry over our jobs, our relationships, our kids, our aging parents. Addiction issues, abuse issues, or the desire to find clarity and strength to lead a more fulfilling life.
And all that “insight?”
Dr. Sapadin explains:
In a supportive, nonjudgmental environment, you’ll learn to clarify your thoughts, strengthen your speech patterns and expand your repertoire of behavior. You’ll learn how to calm yourself down via meditative practice and reduce your fear incrementally.
Therapy. Say What?
Curious about the original meaning of the word therapy, I sought its roots and found this: the etymology of the word therapy:
… curing, healing, ministering to the sick… delivery of a healing service.
That, too, seems on point. What could be more healing than insight — whether sharply focused or in sweeping, illuminating brushstrokes?
A slight digression: As I’ve been undergoing physical therapy for my back for a number of months, and as I consider the breadth of techniques and exercises used for ‘increased mobility and strength,’ I liken this to those broad brushstrokes in talk therapy — those that might sing on several registers.
As more detailed tests provided more information, I consider the specific exercises I now engage in daily — resulting from a far greater understanding of what’s happening in my body. My goals are explicit, and progress is accelerating, though not without occasional setbacks.
Healing is not a linear process. Not necessarily for the body, and certainly not for the mind.
Moreover, I’ve been to physical therapists before. They don’t always listen. Skill levels and techniques vary. The “chemistry” may not be there. And that chemistry between the person who “delivers a healing service” and the patient is vital to the success of your experience.
Insight Into “Insight”
In a comment on Dr. Sapadin’s post, a reader expresses the irritation that many feel after a less than optimal experience, or precisely because of the reputation that plagues talk therapy, which the doctor’s reframing is designed to address.
The commenter says:
… Every therapist I’ve been to just sits there and stares at you while you tell them what’s been going on since you saw them last… the idea of having to try to explain the people and situations in my life in detail ALL OVER AGAIN to another person just bores me.
… I can’t change any of the people who have caused me to feel the way I do so how is therapy going to help me?
Let’s get back to that notion of relationship. In therapy, whatever you call it, the ease and flow of the relationship is critical. There is chemistry between therapist and patient, or counselor and ‘client’ — just as there is between lovers, colleagues, and friends.
The chemistry may hum, it may falter, it may fall anywhere between the two extremes. One therapist’s personality may suit you at 23, but someone with a very different approach may be the best ‘insight partner’ for you 20 years later.
I welcome your thoughts.
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The few people that I know that have been in therapy never really got anything out of it but maybe they didn’t need it enough. I have always been a little skeptical but then, I’ve never needed it so I shouldn’t comment really !!! I think that the skill is to find the right one for you …. that is probably quite difficult. XXXX
Your comment makes me smile, Jacqueline. Almost everyone I know has had therapy of some sort, at some point in time. Are we Americans more likely to have reason to need that sort of help, or more likely to seek it out? 🙂 Those I know, including myself, have had a mixed bag of experiences — useful, not useful, so-so. I think the factors are many, not only including how much you need it, but other avenues for support (or their absence), how much you are willing to invest of yourself in the process, and so on. Again, I think the nature of the relationship between therapist and ‘client’ is a critical component. If that doesn’t work, personally, I don’t see how the process can work. So glad you stopped by, and happy new year!
If finding the right personality in the therapist isn’t hard enough, you have the treatment methodology to consider. In looking at the Psychology Today therapists directory you have attachment based, cognitive behavioral, dialectical, emotionally focused, family systems, gestalt, humanistic, imago, Jungian, mindfulness, neuro feedback, psychoanalytical, relational, solution focused, somatic, and transpersonal, to name some of the more clearly distinguished approaches. To find the best therapist, it helps if you have some understanding of the problem, and the hows and whys of the methods. While this takes some study on your part, it also makes you more engaged with your treatment from the start.
And then there is the fact that credentials and skill levels vary widely. In Texas, therapists can range from social workers to PHD psychologists. Moreover, credentials don’t necessarily translate into skills, so it is highly likely you will end up paying a series of therapists to audition for you. The best will have a variety of tools, but I suspect many, if not most have only one, so every problem is contorted to fit within that solution. Some are process-driven, others are more fluid and conversationally based. Some will let you drive, with them doing some skillful navigating, others want to entirely control the show.
Another issue is that it is important to find someone who, in the beginning, will give you credit for understanding something about your own situation, and inquiring from there. I’ve seen that more than a few therapists automatically start out couples therapy with a Harville Hendrix book, without doing any preliminary investigation as to whether it is appropriate. While you have to start somewhere, how about the therapist showing that he/she can communicate, rather than assuming that you can’t?
Talking therapy can be both good and bad. I’ve read that research is finding that talk therapy in general (even assuming a good practitioner) can aggravate rather than alleviate problems. Although this is probably on a different note, my wife and I have been to one therapist, highly credentialed as a trauma specialist, who, worse than simply being ineffective, actively had the wrong effect. Rather than gauging where we were and taking the time to set the right therapeutic atmosphere, she further traumatized us both – my wife by making her speak too much too soon, me by only allowing simple answers to complex questions.
As with the example above, pacing is important. Too fast damages the process, too slow and you wonder what you are getting for over a hundred dollars an hour.
But I have also engaged with a therapist who asked the right questions (right enough, anyway), listened well, and interacted appropriately. Our personal styles were very much in synch – I both felt I was heard, and gained insight. She told me some things I wanted to hear (and of course some I did not), but they were always contextually appropriate and I never felt we were at cross purposes.
As in any profession, the quality of the professional is always a critical factor in the outcome. The word “talk” in relation to therapy is misapplied if we qualify it as “talk therapy”. Generally speaking, as this topic surely is, the key to an effective therapeutic session relies on the quality of the questions asked by the therapist. Listening to the answers is critical to providing insightful observations, as opposed to too much “talk”. If your therapist is doing most of the talking, find another therapist!
For me, it was critical to successful therapy that not only I trust the therapist, but that I know that the therapist trusted me. After we had met weekly for a few months, the therapist with whom I worked best demonstrated that he trusted me by allowing us to embark upon ambulatory therapy (i.e., therapy we did while walking together outside). That signalled the beginning of four years of very productive therapy, which ended 13 years ago and continues to yield many benefits for me and my family.
This is fascinating, Leslie. What a wonderful idea, and I would think, a very ‘freeing’ way to engage more openly as well. Very cool.