It’s common sense: Positive thinking without constructive action won’t get us where we want to go. It’s also common sense: Attitude matters. And if you’re convinced that positive thinking alone is your path to success?
You might want to see a doctor about that… which we’ll get to in a minute.
Personally, I’m of the mindset that “moderation in all things” – as my grandmother, and many of our grandmothers, used to recommend – applies to a wide range of habits and activities. Positive thinking is among them, and ought to be offset by equal parts reality.
So says a recent column, more or less, on the problem with positive thinking, which explains:
Positive thinking fools our minds into perceiving that we’ve already attained our goal, slackening our readiness to pursue it… Some critics of positive thinking have advised people to discard all happy talk and “get real”… Studies have shown that this strategy doesn’t work any better…
What does work better is a hybrid approach that combines positive thinking with “realism.”
If you ask me, this is nicely aligned with my grandmother’s wisdom, which is relevant from enjoying chocolatey desserts to socializing, and from disciplining kids to pursuing one’s dreams. Well, I may deviate on the pursuit of dreams item, as sustained “passion” is often what gets us through the greatest challenges and disheartening voices of naysayers.
What Does “Positive in Moderation” Mean?
Allow me to clarify my position. Moderation should not hold us back from bursts of enthusiasm or pulling out all the stops for a limited time. And limits are essential, knowing that when we perpetually push the envelope, we’re likely to face health consequences and potentially, damage to our relationships.
As I interpret the content of this article, we are not to yield actions to attitude alone, but rather to understand that true agency relies on both, furthering our ability to reach our goals.
I might think of positivity as frosting on the cake, but I will give it more potency than that, as frosting in the cake as well, and therefore a non-negotiable element of the tastiest whole.
My approach to optimism is similar. When we overdose on it, we may miss aspects of reality that we would be better served to confront. However, if we moderate our optimism, recognizing risk, probabilities and other pragmatic factors – we are better prepared if results don’t go our way. And that includes being more able to get back up and start again.
The Mind-Body Connection to Health and Well-Being
Not to deny the role of positivity, a fascinating piece of long journalism in The New York Times Magazine offers up evidence of the mind’s power in an entirely different context. Written by Bruce Grierson, “What If Age Is Nothing But a Mindset?” describes the work of psychologist and professor Ellen Langer, working with older and physically compromised patients.
In an experiment conducted by Dr. Langer in 1981, she dropped eight men in their seventies into an immersive experience intended to take them back in time. The environment had been recreated to duplicate 1959 when the subjects would have been strong, vital and in good health. There were no reminders of their actual age, and they were instructed to do as much as possible for themselves as they would have then.
Mr. Grierson writes:
On several measures, they outperformed a control group… They were suppler, showed greater manual dexterity and sat taller… Perhaps most improbable, their sight improved. Independent judges said they looked younger. The experimental subjects, Langer told me, had “put their mind in an earlier time,” and their bodies went along for the ride.
Extraordinary, no?
Using Positivity Where It Counts
I see positivity as dangerous when we take it to extremes, for example when we are overly invested in the concept that we can will good things to happen. Or, that we are somehow responsible for misfortune that has little or nothing to do with us, and we find ourselves playing a pointless, hurtful and off-the-mark blame game.
We point a finger at the victim of illness, job loss, financial disaster, family problems – and we say they are where they are because it is their fault; their issues could have been resolved if they mastered the right attitude. This – for anyone who has lived turmoil or tragedy in which there is no fault – is both cruel and unfounded.
But knowing what success looks like? Imagining ourselves at our best? Visualizing what we want and combining that with determination, hard work, necessary learning, and tackling the substantive challenges involved? This is the sort of balance or moderation that I can get behind.
My conclusion?
Positive attitude can work wonders, when it does not deny the reality of our obstacles anymore than it denies the power of the mind.
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Yes, I agree with you. Coincidentally, I am working on a piece about “mindfulness,” and Ellen Langer’s work, which is highlighted in the NY Times piece is interesting — I found her suggestion that we look at things differently in our daily life rather helpful. But I also agree with you that attitude, positive or otherwise, does not necessarily impact success. Especially when it comes to a serious illness. I refused to “embrace” chemotherapy as I was advised by an overeager resident more than 20 years ago when I called in the middle of the night doubled over in pain. Frankly, the stuff was poison, it made me very sick, and I did not, spend any time imagining it flowing through my veins as good soldiers who would kill cancer cells. With two young children and a job, I got through it and have been healthy ever since. I attribute that health to the excellent care I got, more than to anything I was visualizing. But the NY Times article isn’t really talking about that, is it? Langer’s work seems to be more about shifting your mindset at bit. And while I see that that can allow one to tackle serious challenges in a more positive way, it certainly won’t guarantee success. But, hey, if I had a few extra thousand dollars, I’d go to her proposed mindfulness center — and if it does prove to perform miracles, those miracles will only be available for those who can afford it. Which is another whole can of worrms….
What a wonderful, thoughtful response, Judith. And yes, Dr. Langer’s experiment does seem to be about shifting mindset, as you say. In fact, the article on her work opened up a new line of thinking for me, but which may take shape through action, which is very much part of the experience she created for those original subjects.
It’s an intriguing set of issues, isn’t it? And I look forward to reading your article.
Hi D.A.,
I footnoted your excellent piece at the end of mine.
That’s lovely of you. Thanks, Judith!
All things in moderation is so important…because no amount of positive thinking will erase a sucky day! I am an optimist…known for it…but it is my optimism which is one foundation of my work ethic. Because I am an optimist, I believe I still have opportunities at 61 to even change careers, but I know that requires hard work and determination…so it is my optimism which keeps me working hard….perseverance. Does that make sense? I believed I could reinvent myself and I did…but it has taken 11 years of hard work and I am still on the path of progress. I do not feel my age, though I am aware of it, I believe I have advantages in some ways…that is my optimism. A negative outlook would have shut me down and kept me from going forward. Because I believe I CAN, I work harder to make it happen. I hope all of this makes sense. I think no matter what our age is, we can work to better our situations and even have some fun doing it.
Optimism as one part of the work ethic foundation. I love the way you put that, Pam. And your examples make perfect sense.
I love your closing thought. Positive, optimistic attitudes can do wonders for the psyche, but we shouldn’t let it take over at the expense of reality. No amount of positive thinking will help me become an astronaut. I can optimistic all day, but I’m never going to be 30 again. However, a positive attitude and optimistic outlook can help when facing challenges and overcoming despair and depression about situations I cannot control.