The top 5 things men do that drive women crazy?
Believe it or not, coming up with five items about my man, or any man, is a tougher exercise than I thought it might be. We can all get under each others’ skin with our quirks, our foibles, our bad habits. And time tends to distort the irritation factor – certainly in couples.
When recently asked what drives me crazy – dead laptop, anyone? – I thought it would be fun to consider the question from a variety of angles. However, since I had to seriously ponder in order to come up with a list when it comes to gender generalizations, I’m taking that as a good sign. Wouldn’t you?
Naturally, in approaching this question, turnabout is fair play. So yes, I’m also considering the top 5 things women do that drive men crazy. And on that note…
Top 5 Things Women Do That Drive Men Crazy
As I was unable to reach my sons for an informal (non-representative) survey, I queried a proximate party of one, and asked the man in my life what his list would be – not that any of these items apply to yours truly!
They are:
- Nagging
- Talking too much
- Obsessing over details
- Mothering the man instead of treating him as an adult
- Setting his priorities, also known as the “honey-do” list
Thinking through this list is, in itself, an interesting exercise. These crazy-making items are behavioral issues rather than physical, or to do with character. I was impressed by that. I also paused to review my own behaviors. I don’t believe I nag, and I’m more likely to talk too little than to talk too much. I’m not of the “mothering” camp either, but I plead periodically guilty to obsessing over details and occasionally, to wanting his priorities to more closely mirror mine.
Kindly note that my gentleman friend pointed out that these were generalizations and no reflection on me or “us.” (Quite the diplomat, don’t you think?)
Still, I like that we can discuss topics like this, even in the abstract. In so doing, I also reflect on my prior relationships (and marriage), hoping to pay attention to areas of potential improvement.
Top 5 Things Men Do That Drive Women Crazy
I didn’t consult any women friends, but once I started to think back far enough, my own list came to mind more quickly. After the fact, I poked around on the Internet and found that four of the behaviors I am addressing here appear in a variety of lists by women about their men.
So… what drives me crazy about men?
- Not listening when women are talking to them
- Trying to fix rather than providing a shoulder or an ear
- Not helping around the house
- Not helping with kids, then pouting when you say you’re tired
- Leaving dirty socks and underwear wherever they happen to fall
That last one? Both my sons do it. And I raised them! What’s up with that?
As for the other mentions, I suspect some will seem very familiar to a few of you, though I like to think that as a society, a more equitable division of parenting and household responsibilities is becoming more common.
5 Things That Drive ME Crazy… Specifically
I won’t say that I don’t have a list of things that drive me crazy. I do. However, they don’t have to do with gender, but rather, how we treat one another.
As I consider what irks me (and always has), they are issues not only of behavior, but values and character.
Here are my top five:
- People who are disrespectful, dismissive, or demeaning to others
- Women who trash each other, especially behind their backs
- Those who say they’re sorry, but never change the behavior
- The narrow-minded – of any gender, age, creed, etc.
- Socks… lost forever in the dryer. I know, right?
As for the inclusion of women who are not supportive of other women, who, in fact, seem to delight in directly or indirectly belittling another of their own sex, I simply don’t understand it. And I would urge all of us to consider the ways in which we may be engaging in this behavior – if not to the levels we see on (sur)reality television, to lesser degrees in our own lives. We’re hurting ourselves, our daughters, our future daughters-in-law, our future, when we indulge in these antics.
Good Men, (Word) Obsessed Women
Now about the good gentleman who assisted in this endeavor…
Wait… There is one thing he does that drives me crazy, and yes, he knows it. I keep a dish towel by the kitchen sink that I use to dry my hands, and no matter how many times I ask him to use other towels for drying or mopping up (nearby), he forgets. (And I let out an exasperated sigh, as I find myself with dripping hands and nothing with which to dry them.)
Then I grab for the paper towels, and count my blessings, because if that’s the only thing he does that drives me crazy, I am one lucky woman.
Worse are the things that I do to drive myself crazy. Here I circle back to the item concerning women who obsess over details. Guilty as charged, especially when I’m dealing in words. Rare are the moments when they seem good enough, and I torture myself over a more vibrant verb, a more cohesive phrase, never feeling as if I have the time to complete a truly polished piece of writing.
What drives you crazy?
This is part of a monthly writing exercise. The topic: 5 things that drive you crazy. Stop by here and read more.
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Such a thought provoking take on our monthly topic. While I did poll my girlfriends about what makes them crazy – and there were a few man-related subjects on their lists – I did not think to ask my husband for his perspective and will do so right away! My guess is that my habit of forgetting to turn lights off is akin to your husband and the hand towel!
Thanks for a thoughtful take on the subject!
I loved your lists……..especially about the underwear and socks! I too have two SONS! What about the wet towels on the bed??!!
Wet towels on the bed. Yes! But why?!?
Socks!! Oh, socks socks socks.
I have just thrown out what felt like thousands in a fit of foot-stamping fury this weekend.
They wear white ones to run about in the garden.
They think it’s witty to wear unmatched ones so I go slowly mad as the basket fills and NOT A SINGLE ONE EVER EVER MATCHES.
Breathe…
Eventually, I gave up… And started buying nothing but boys/men’s black socks. (*sigh*)
Oh, the sock thing !!!! Where on earth do they go ? …also, why can’t anyone but me change the toilet roll ? Is everybody that daft that they don’t know how to do it ? …. I don’t think so !!
A great take on our BIO subject this month ….. it was a great read. XXXX
I hear you on the toilet paper roll, Jacqueline. (So strange.) Glad you enjoyed!
Oh no…I’m guilty of all five grievances men have about women! Husband is also guilty of the next five.
I couldn’t agree more about the five that drive you crazy, but now buy my all my socks in the exact same style and color so the lost ones can play merrily in the dryer forever, and I never miss them.
I also have 2 sons who drop their socks and underwear wherever they fall, and yet my husband NEVER does that…they are always neatly put in the hamper. So how did we go wrong???
My eldest sons delights in wearing mis-matched socks to bait me….just as he loves to set the table with mismatched cutlery for the same reason. Ah…a mother’s heart is forever played with….
Fabulous twist on the topic, as I would expect from you. Between the humour there is much wisdom.
We have all said the lack of consideration for others and the total lack of manners and dumbing down of our entire society. Hey guess what? No one needs to actually learn anything, right? They just look it up on their smart phones. Great post, my dear !!
I so agree with you on women supporting women. My associate was just commenting as a friend stopped by my showroom, how easily I made friendships. She went on to mention as she does not have any female friends as she did not get along with women. As a matter of fact, it was a problem in my team where women were always stabbing at each other. I now have male employees… I always try to support women, network with women, help each other and abhor gossip.
Check, check, check, check and check… actually I was checking off all your points as I read through D.A…
Great stream of “what makes you crazy”…
I know what you mean about searching for the right word, that phrase that will fit just so… but you find the most perfect way of expressing yourself… and what is even more fabulous… you do it day in and day out… Thank you… 🙂 xv
I had a man in my life who would fail to close the kitchen cabinet doors as he was putting items away over my head. As such, I was constantly bumping my noggin on the corners of the doors when I would stand up. I finally got so tired that I said we should just take the cabinet doors off the hinges instead of fighting about the matter. His response to me, “You’re so predictable.” The cabinet doors remained on and we kept fighting every time I got hurt. I guess my safety concerns were too controlling. Needless to say, he doesn’t live here anymore.
Yikes, @Deja Vow. It’s amazing how the seemingly small details can actually camouflage larger issues that are taking place in the background. Thanks for sharing this one!
I am behind on reading the BIO posts and I am so glad that I didn’t miss this. Fantastic writing, sharp as a knife and yet sensitive as a feather. 🙂 Ok, a little cheesy that but you know what I mean! Some of this had me squirming in recognition…Eeee….
And the wet towel on the bed! I am so relieved to hear that I have a Sisterhood in that…
I think you nailed it… on all of the lists! I would have to agree 100% with your gender-neutral list of things that drive me crazy, too. And I like how you were honest about yourself. I think that’s where a lot of contention in relationships comes from; the inability of the other person to admit shortcomings and faults. It’s so easy to blame and point fingers at the other person.
So… the lesson is we all drive each other crazy, right?! xo
Wolf,
You nailed all the lists, Wolf. I love how you covered different angles of this interesting topic.
I think when you can sit in a room in complete silence with your significant other, the relationship takes on new levels. Silence isn’t worshipped enough between couples. However, affirmation is equally important. When I choose to voice my concerns and fears, I do expect my husband to pay attention.
I loved this post, Wolf.