Do you enjoy your dreams? Do you remember them well enough to recount them? Do you interpret them? Consider them? Extract a personalized guide to dealing with life’s thornier challenges?
In “Three Fascinating Facts About Dreams,” Margarita Tartakovsky, editor of Psych Central, references psychotherapist Jeffrey Sumber, debunking a myth or two and presenting interesting points concerning our sleeping journeys.
Among them?
Myths and Facts About Dreaming
It seems that people with disabilities dream as though they don’t have disabilities at all, which certainly came as a surprise to me. Then again, though I am not disabled, reflecting on my own dreams I realize that I function at my younger full and unencumbered capacity: I can run quickly, I dance joyfully, I play tennis, I occasionally swim.
And nothing hurts.
On the contrary, pain from injuries and the typical complaints of growing older all disappear, as my 25-year-old mobility and strength are instead accessible. I even enjoy a little supernatural style by slipping in and out of bodies not my own!
I will add that lucid dreaming enhances my experience allowing me to direct the script of my slumbering scenarios.
Age Differences in Dreaming
Another fact Ms. Tartakovsky offers?
Studies show that those under 30 have more dreams in color, while over that age we’re more likely to dream in black and white, or both color and black and white.
That tidbit surprises me. To the best of my recollection, all my dreams are gloriously colorful. Yet the article cites Jeffrey Sumber who suggests that when we think we’re dreaming in monochrome, that may be our waking perception or recollection. He offers a number of reasons for that possibility.
Reading on, I was hoping to discover answers to issues like dreaming about strangers versus people we know. While those who have passed away visit me in dream (always pleasantly), most often my dreams involve strangers, and sometimes celebrities. To add to the intrigue, until the age of 50 or so, those populating my reveries and nightmares typically had no faces! It was as though a blur effect had been applied to protect their identity, though their words and actions generally revealed exactly who they were.
Interpret as you will, but around age 50, it was as if a switch had flipped. The appearance of a fuzzy-featured countenance is now the exception.
Types of Dreams
We know there are many types of dreams and to name just a few – problem-solving dreams, recurring dreams, scenarios in which we act out of character (or just act out), and wish fulfillment dreams (hello, Paris!).
There are those we would generically term “nightmare,” along with sexual dreams, anxiety dreams, and some I simply think of as a mini-vacation. Who wouldn’t love skipping off to the islands for the night, or time travel with all your current knowledge intact?
Recurring dreams are a fact of life as well; mine include two from childhood – a treasure hunt in which the prizes are just out of reach, and flying to elementary school with arms extended like a graceful, gliding bird – always along the same walking path.
While the “naked” dream may be extremely common, my anxiety dreams typically include: a dance performance where I’ve forgotten the steps; a public speaking gig and I’ve lost my notes; that one last final exam to get through in college or grad school – though that nightmare, thankfully, has all but disappeared.
My anxiety dreams since divorce are commonly themed around homelessness, and have persisted for years though presented in a variety of guises. Happily, my dreaming life of late has been more adventurous, though between locales in New York and Paris, still reflecting uncertainty about where to light next.
Gender Differences in Dreaming
Among the issues not touched by the Psych Central article are gender differences. However, Psychology Today provides some food for thought in “The Dreams of Men and Women” by Dr. Patrick McNamara.
He writes:
Women tend to recall their dreams more often than men and women tend to report more frequent and more intense nightmares than men… Men tend to dream about aggressive encounters with other men (typically strangers) while women tend to dream about interactions with familiar others…
While he gives a nod to the roles of culture and socialization, he goes on to say:
… the dream recall and dream content patterns of men and women differ because the biologies of men and women differ.
I recall asking my younger son about his dreaming; he does recall some of his dreams. He’s a teenager. I did not pry in asking their content. As for the adult men I’ve known in my life – hardly a scientific sample – I realize that generally they didn’t seem to speak of their dreams or have much to recount when I would ask what they remember.
Interpreting Dreams: Identity and Insight
Returning to the first article, Ms. Tartakovsky quotes her expert resource again, explaining the role of dreams in revealing issues of identity and potential for discovery:
… dreams can actually lead to a deeper understanding of ourselves. Sumber added, “Dreams represent the opportunity to learn more about ourselves and our path in life. Dreams are typically the unconscious mind attempting to bridge understanding with the conscious mind.”
As for that particular bridge, while I have struggled with sleeping challenges most of my life (left to my own variations on counting sheep), I am delighted with the vivid nature of my dreams, the ability to recall them, and their power to provide specific solutions to problems as well as words that direct me to pick up the pen and write.
Generally, I find dreams to be enjoyable or at least instructive. As to those faceless players, or other questions to do with sexual dreams, we’ll leave a little something for another day.
In the meantime, I am encouraged to pursue the pleasures and revelations of my dreamier selves, mining that fertile terrain for insight.
- Are you aware of dreaming in color versus black and white?
- What locations or time periods recur in your dreams?
- If you have a chronic health condition, pain, or you’re simply tired, do those states disappear when you dream?
- In your sexual dreams, are you more often with your current partner or do others also play a role – strangers or acquaintances?
- Do you find yourself interpreting dreams, and using their clues to make changes in your life?
- As a man or woman, are your dreams consistent with the gender differences referenced above?
You May Also Enjoy
The best dreams I have are the ones in which my late father comes to visit me – and I do mean visit me. I can hear him, feel his arm around me, even smell his Polo cologne. I always wake up feeling both unbearably sad and elated at the same time. Dreams are a marvelous gift for those of us who are able to remember and savor the good ones.
Oh, Sharon, yes! I completely understand. My father has been gone much longer than yours, but he still visits me in dream from time to time and it’s wonderful. In the past few years, and frequently, another dear friend who passed away has visited in dreams. It is indeed a gift, albeit bittersweet.
I remember having two different recurring nightmares as a child. One was about being kidnapped and another was about my home being destroyed and not being able to find my loved ones. Much later in life when I worked for a bully from some time and managed to find another job, I turned on the TV and he was being interviewed. For the next few nights I had vivid nightmares about being assaulted. I dream mainly in black and white, but with the odd flash of colour. The most memorable dreams these days are about my mother and I wake up hearing her voice.
Hi BLW,
You make me smile again 🙂
Dreaming in black and white vs technicolor? Hey! And what about blue monochrome? Let’s go further and ask: Are they dreaming in 14 or 24 fps? And maybe some privileged can afford to dream in Blue Ray or even 3D! 🙂
I think that dreams (with our awakened imagination) are the indispensable way out, and their existence surely save a lot of people asses. In “L’éloge de la fuite” Henri Laborit describe the world of dreams as the last free space where we can flee when the world around would want to imprison us in situations too painful or distasteful for us.
But of course on the other side of the medal, they also have this unpleasant (although maybe necessary) effect to bring at the surface thing that our daily consciousness is burying in deep because it would be to distressing to deal with some too hurting reality. My father died when I was twenty something killed by a disease that my mother forbade me to reveal he had. In short he was not trusted having the strength to know that he was going to die. It simply deprived me to be a little closer to him (we didn’t had got on well together) in this last year of his life, always keeping behind the fence of this lie.
It was a long time since I didn’t dream of him. But it happened a few days ago while I had a nap in the afternoon. Gosh! I was seeing my father knocked out dead under my eyes, struck on the head with a log by such strong and furious guys that I was out powerless for any help. Do we always want to go and rummage those dreams?
As I recounted (I think here), my mother visited me in a dream after she died. She telephoned from Australia to say I’d been a good son. Jung visited me once in a dream. My father as well–I remember his eyes were marvelously blue–so I guess I dream(ed) in color, at least once. I also fly in dreams, but it takes a lot of flapping. I think this is a droll reminder from my unconscious about how hard I make things.
dearest D
it is in dreams that i see clearest what needs to be done.
i keep a small notepad by my bed (with a gorgeous hand cream for parisian fragrant dreams) and a glorious pen, usually from a 5 star hotel from when i lived laviejetset (currently it’s from somewhere-fabulous-in-milan 😉
ideas float up through my self-conscious and i become aware of my awful fears that hold me back – i write them down and let them go.
it is dreams that i see pictures.
like yesterday’s photo shoot with martyn thompson – i had a dream where he was lying on the sofa and i just saw his alice in wonderland shoes. the rest of the shoot came from that image.
waving from manhattan in dreaminess.
_teamgloria xx
Interesting that many people are mentioning their parents. I don’t normally remember my dreams, but I did have two featuring my father after he died. In the first, he was separated from me by a distant transparent wall. In the second, he was relatively close, but not quite within easy conversational distance. He looked as if he were a retired executive just off the gold course at a Florida resort – tanned, relaxed, orange pants, expensive shoes. Exactly the opposite of his Kentucky-born, down-to-earth nature. I don’t know if that was the result of my hopes, or his spirit sending a positive message, but it reassured me nonetheless.
I remember many of my dreams and am confident they are in color. Some of them are exceptionally vivid and run the gamut from sexual to conflict.
I too have had dreams when I was “visited” by someone who had died. I love those, even if I wake up feeling a bit melancholy because they are gone.
It is melancholy, Jack. True. And also such a gift.
As you might remember, my struggles with sleep issues have bothered me for twenty years but my dreams are incredibly vivid–sometimes I think that my brain is trying to squeeze it all in, process all it needs to, in the limited time available. They are often so potent that it takes me a while to come back to reality upon waking–and certainly if I have a nightmare or a disturbing dream right before waking it can ruin my morning. I definitely have many recurring dreams and even recurring neighborhoods, some of which are entirely made up from what I can tell. Other times, my brain creates such a spectacular show that I think “Wow, good job!” 🙂 Like some of the other commenters, I have visits from my Dad, who passed away a few years ago and I am not unwilling to consider that they actually are visits, not just dreams…
Oh Heather, I feel you on the sleep struggles. (You now have me wondering if those of us with sleep issues dream more or simply, sleeping less soundly and with more interruptions, we have greater access / facility to recall the dreams…)
Knowing the way my own dad “visits” and this very dear friend as well, like you, I also wonder about those dreams in particular. Whatever they may be, they’re always welcome.
Completely agreed. Especially as I am starting, just starting mind you, to find a bit of peace with my Dad’s passing when he stops by. He is his old self again and that is wonderful…