I hate sitting in traffic. I’m a bit claustrophobic, and that “stuck” feeling makes me edgy. Besides, not knowing what’s going on ahead unnerves me.
Yesterday, I was sitting in a traffic jam. And let me say, I wasn’t thrilled. But I also wasn’t stressed or miffed. Instead, I leaned back in my seat and just went with it.
And that’s because a half mile before, I was forewarned.
First there was a series of orange signs indicating a work zone, followed by more signs showing merging lanes ahead. Then I saw a large rectangular sign flashing “Expect Delays.” And so I did. I expected delays, I stayed calm, and I moved forward slowly but steadily. Just like everyone else.
Almost.
It was a long, straight stretch of road, and I noticed him coming up from behind – a red Mercedes zipping past everyone on the right – then cutting into the line as far up as he could manage.
Managing Mindset (Flipping the Switch)
I shook my head in disgust. Then I flipped the switch. My switch.
There were dozens of cars in front of me, and dozens in a line behind me. Every other driver was well behaved; no one else was trying to cut in or out of line.
Instead of focusing on the Bad Guy who surely pissed off everyone, I concentrated on all the Good Guys, who were polite and well behaved.
From the onset of the signage, cars had merged without incident, from two lanes down to one. No horns, no hassle.
Squeaky Wheel, Glass Half Full
I think about people who insist on being the squeaky wheel. I’ve been known to play that role a time or two, but only as a last resort, and I don’t like it.
I think about people who feel that rules don’t apply to them. I’ve run into my share of those individuals – an experience I don’t relish – and I now steer clear.
And I realize, appreciatively, that most people I know play it straight, keep their word, do good, and exercise judgment.
A glass half full approach on my part? A dose of that moderated optimism?
The Value of Signage
Do you pay attention to signs?
(How’s that for a leading question?)
I think about the signs and clues we absorb constantly. Some we heed; others we ignore. And then there are explicit warnings: to do with our health, our environment, our food, our economy; warnings that cover our choices of vendors and partners, schools and jobs. There are so many warnings it’s hard to separate what’s real from a sales pitch or a partisan agenda.
Sometimes signs can be confusing. There may be too many, so we’re disoriented. There may be too few, or the signs themselves are contradictory, so we hesitate to make a decision – about a job, a relationship, a direction, even a vote.
Reliable Warnings, Explicit Instructions
But in the case of my recent commute, the instructions were clear, visual, and verbal. They were also specific; the warning was accompanied by dates and times of day.
There’s an upside to warnings. We know what’s coming. We can prepare. We can reconfigure. But sometimes we dismiss the warnings that we feel rather than articulate – those that are common sense, or generated by our own internal GPS. They’re just as valid in reminding us when to speed up, when to slow down, when to accept our bumps in the road.
And metaphorically speaking, is there ever a time in life when some delays or obstacles shouldn’t be anticipated?
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When it comes to traffic, I absolutely prefer good signs and a warning. I don’t like not knowing what lies ahead, which is why I love the GPS in my phone. It almost always gets the traffic conditions right.
Have you ever tuned to the AM radio frequency that carries traffic information?
As for that red Mercedes – Times like that make me wish I was behind the wheel of a tank, with permission to shoot out the tires of offensive drivers. I guess it is a good thing I am not licensed to drive a tank. But, you definitely took the high road and concentrated on the positive aspects of your situation. Bravo!
Signs and clues in life? They can definitely be beneficial. Anticipating delays and obstacles – Unless you live in Utopia, they are inevitable. I find I am better with the big obstacles than I am at dealing with the small things that get in my way; however, delays are another story. Patience is not my strongest virtue.
Believe it or not, Robin, I rarely turn on the radio in my car – but it’s a good idea. (I actually love the quiet, but sometimes, I’ll pop one of my kids’ music CDs in the player and listen. Weird rock. It helps.)
As for the red Mercedes, it was the audacity to exploit the polite behavior of everyone else that was so striking. I suppose I could give him the benefit of the doubt (woman in labor in the passenger seat?) – but… then again, maybe not.
I’m not licensed to drive a tank, myself. (Is that among your skill sets? ;))
Cutting in line. Driving up the shoulder. Rules were made to be broken? Yes, it happens but statistically speaking, that’s an approach which won’t go unchallenged indefinitely. Yes, he beat me to the destination but I don’t have a ticket.
As a metaphor for politics, the electorate is a fickle bunch who wants instant solutions. They may take decades to dig the hole but then they want out immediately. Unfortunately, they can’t seem to connect the dots.
Viable Opposition – Aug 9/2011
America’s Presidents: Who was the biggest spendthrift?
The worst President for building up the debt was the much venerated President Ronald Reagan considering that the Cold War buildup ended under his tenure. In fact, I was so surprised that I went back and triple checked the numbers and my calculations because the debt growth was so out of line with the other Administrations in this study. Under the Reagan Administration, the debt rose a massive 188 percent or 14.18 percent on an annual basis, far worse than either the Bush I, Bush II or Obama Administrations.
I appreciate your seeing the political metaphor in my little traffic musing, Mr. Belle. I think the scenario of signs, warnings, specifics, impatience, those who follow rules (and those who feel they’re above them) all make for multiple interpretations. And yes, the political does apply.
There will always be people who think the rules don’t apply to them. They will always make me angry. There is nothing I can do about except, as you said, try to appreciate all of those who DO follow the rules.
At this point in my life I am very tuned in to other’s verbal and non-verbal clues, but it took me a long time to get here.
I know what you mean, Sharon. Tuning in more closely, and maybe also trusting our gut.
Did you see that woman who drove onto the sidewalk every morning to pass a school bus for handicap children? Every day. The bus driver finally took video of her from his cell phone and turned it into the police – who followed up and gave the offender a ticket. Such audacity. She was a classic example of someone who didn’t think the rules applied to her. Not to mention total disregard for anyone’s safety. The tell tale symptom of her behavior to me? That her mother justified her daughter’s antics – saying she that the handicap bus just took too long. I’ve seen parents excuse and rescue children, grown children, and said children often grow up feeling the rules don’t apply to them. Not saying it’s always a parent’s fault, by any means, but coddling parents don’t help teach citizenship.
Traffic – it’ll knock the patience out of the best of us. But not enough, in my case, to steer my bad self onto the sidewalk.
Wow, Barb. No, I didn’t see that. Pretty crazy, really. I’m surprised anyone could even attempt to defend that behavior. (I do think parental coddling can go too far, yes. There are always degrees and exceptions, but most of us sense when it’s time to back off and give them their independence, mistakes and all – just as we (of a certain age) were given ours.
On the bus home from work, I either bury myself in a book or a conversation. I can’t stand to watch the traffic, and this is in the relatively polite city of Seattle. Moving from a stress-filled hour commute in my car to a calm, happy bus drive was a sane move for me and on many levels.
Public transportation – now there’s a concept!
Dearest D
whenever we Drive we pop in a BBC short stories CD to soothe the mind, enlarge our conceptual thought processes (especially when it’s historical as a Tale) and make sure we don’t drive like a maniac (we have the tickets and the traffic school attendance to prove such a problem exists…..)
waving from soho.
_teamgloria x
You are my salvation.
If I could *ever* see that red Mercedes and think, “wow, there sure are a lot of people who nicely follow the rules” instead of “#$%*%&()@(%&$*& that guy! I’ll slide over a little to block him out!”, why then I will have won at the game of life.
So now, hopefully, your post will bring that glorious Glass Mostly Full person out. At least once.
Ooooh, I’m excited already.
Naptime, you make me laugh! And your right – no one tried to give him a hard time or prevent him from forcing his way into the top of the line. It would’ve snarled up everything worse. (Sometimes, sanity prevails. Ain’t that grand?)