The headline was enough to spark my interest: The Positive Power of Negative Thinking.
Say what?
Is that a sign of heresy these days? Exhibiting negativity, and even extolling it?
Then again, I believe in the negative power of positive thinking – in certain circumstances.
As one who practices pragmatism and what I consider “moderated optimism,” I was drawn to Oliver Burkeman’s article in The New York Times, where he takes potshots at our pop cultural propensity for positive thinking.
You know the sort I mean, or the sort Mr. Burkeman means:
…cultivate the belief that success is guaranteed, and anything is possible…
So what if we were to dismantle the naiveté of this mindset, or at least to illustrate that it isn’t globally valid? Might the article’s reference to incidents of walking over a bed of hot coals (yielding badly burned feet) be sufficient to convince you?
Positive Brainwashing?
Mr. Burkeman offers a variety of examples of well entrenched positive thinking programs in contemporary life, including team-building exercises and Robbins-esque seminars. He also presents credible psychological findings showing that negative thinking can result in a better outcome.
Citing specific research, the author points out:
Though much of this research is new, the essential insight isn’t. Ancient philosophers and spiritual teachers understood the need to balance the positive with the negative, optimism with pessimism, a striving for success and security with an openness to failure and uncertainty.
Admitting to Struggle, Admitting to Failure
If we never admit to struggle or failure, how do we face our mistakes and learn from them? How do we enlist assistance? How do we find the desire – at times the desperate desire – to get back up and keep on fighting?
Mr. Burkeman goes on to say:
… telling yourself that everything must work out is poor preparation for those times when they don’t.
Poor preparation, indeed. To me, admitting to life’s challenges is essential if we are to express the reality of an authentic life – the reality of human experience with its ups and downs.
Definitions of Success and Failure
For many in these economic times, life is a struggle. For many, family issues or health issues require extraordinary feats of everyday heroism.
Does positive thinking help these courageous and persevering individuals, or is positivity one more “must do” on a tiring checklist? Is the brave face they maintain the only means to be accepted in a broader social setting? Why must we judge those who honestly express suffering or the consequences of their failures – insisting instead that they spin it to suit our Success Culture?
Then again, why do we assume that “failure” is always personal – a matter of actions taken or actions omitted, and not some collective social failure in which we should all take ownership?
The Fallacy of Positive Denial
In another example of the destructive power of positive thinking (might I call this “the fallacy of positive denial?”), Mr. Burkeman writes:
The social critic Barbara Ehrenreich has persuasively argued that the all-positive approach, with its rejection of the possibility of failure, helped bring on our present financial crises.
I readily concede that I put a positive spin on situations when it serves me to do so, but I’ve made my position clear that I believe we’ve created a Happiness Industry and it is a false god.
I will joyfully celebrate life’s surprisingly sweet moments. I will not sugar coat its harsh realities. All that can accomplish is to perpetuate problems, judge those who battle their consequences, and never open the discussion to possible solutions.
And I for one intend to purchase Mr. Burkeman’s upcoming book. Once again, the title incites (and delights) me: “The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking.”
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I love this and I love that book title. I’ve written it down to follow up on.
There are times when I simply find myself in a funk and I don’t want pressure to snap out of it. There are times I don’t want a cheerleader. Sometimes it’s where I want to wallow or need to work myself out from for a few days. Maybe a few weeks.
I also agree it discounts and condemns those who are struggling with very real hardships and bad breaks.
Sugarcoating is only good on a donut – and even then, in moderation.
Couldn’t agree more, Barb.
This is interesting. What is life if it isn’t the multi textured fabric of experiences – some of which are not the slightest bit what we anticipate or expect and we don’t always see them as happy or look at them through rose colored glasses. This might not fit here but it kind of seems that we want to believe things are a different way that they are – like we air brush the way we see life to make ourselves and others see something more ideal or perfect; something that lacks flaws or anything less than fabulous. The actuality is that dreams are made true through trial and error; hard work; sweat; and often finding what doesn’t work over and over again before we find what does – and the end dream might be so very different than the original. Birds don’t learn to fly without falling. Kids don’t learn to walk without tumbling… and why is it that we don’t want to have these textures as a part of our experience? It is through the challenges that we find ourselves, our depth, and our riches.
Here’s to those “textures,” TE. And to this, which you just wrote: … dreams are made true through trial and error; hard work; sweat; and often finding what doesn’t work over and over again before we find what does – and the end dream might be so very different than the original.
Finally, experts validating me 🙂 As you know, I’ve been a believer in the power of negative thinking for quite some time. Thanks for pointing me to that article!
I have to admit that I am the one person on a committee who always visits the “worse case scenario”. I do it in my own life, too. It isn’t that I am a pessimist. I think I am a realist. I like to consider all possible outcomes – the good and the bad.
I appreciate learning that maybe a little negative thinking can be a positive thing. I was recently listening to an interview with an author who wrote a book called “Wait”. In it, he proposes that procrastination might be a good thing. It is refreshing to hear some new information that doesn’t enforce the beliefs in positive thinking, that we must be successful at everything, happy all of the time; not to mention the pressure to make all of it happen now.
Sometimes I find myself focusing on the pessimistic just so I won’t be disappointed if things don’t turn out well. I’m not sure doing that on a consistent basis is healthy. I have a family member who practices negative thinking all the time and it’s taken a horrible toll on his psyche, health and attitude. There must be a balance between the rose-colored glasses and constant negative thinking because a person without hope has already died inside. I agree with The Exception. Our lives are made up of both the good and bad experiences. We need to learn how to embrace both as necessary. Focusing too much on either distorts reality.
I agree, Lisa. A balance. And that’s what I believe the Times writer was going for.
My ex is a BIG positive thinker in the worst way. Never take no for an answer. Nothing is off limits. The world is your oyster. That kind of thing. He lives in a La La land where he can justify frivolous expenses with a checking account on a lifeline because there’s always money to be found.
I *do* believe in positive thinking but the type that pushes you forward through the muck. In other words, not so much You can do this because you’re amazing! But more, You can get through this, it’s going to suck, but you’re going to make it and you’re going to learn A LOT.
I just finished reading The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama and a psychiatrist named Cutler. He defines happiness a little differently to most people these days and he talks about suffering, anxiety, fear, as well as patience, tolerance avoiding anger and hate. I found loads of interesting ideas – and very sensible as well. I was surprised.
The only way to make dreams come true is to wake up.