How to clean your face?
It’s simple: cup or run your hands in water, mix with gentle soap (optional), splash or dab with or without the use of a wash cloth. If you have “older” skin, pay attention to more fragile areas around the eyes.
Follow this up with a few touches of moisturizer of your choice or, if you prefer, use makeup remover for the eyes, the cheeks, the lips as appropriate.
For some, use buckets of makeup remover.
Run and hide, as needed.
And what country is this? What century is this? What profession are women in? Something that does not require assuming a horizontal position?
Making Up in the Millennium
Some adhere to the theory that hemlines reflect our faith in the economy, and possibly societal stability. Others (yes – that would be me) believe there is an unplumbed link between shoe heights (monster shoes) and cultural zeitgeist.
But makeup – or making it up as we go – is showing on our faces. And not in a good way.
We’re making up to hide our age – or our youth. We’re making up to mask our worry and at times, unwittingly, our joy. We’re abrading, injecting, plumping, filling – and that’s not counting the cutting and stitching – all before we pluck up the brush, the sponge, the assorted tools – in order to paint, to sprinkle, to curl, or glue.
In particular, I’m thinking of the makeup as seen in media. Naturally – or unnaturally – my mental visuals go straight to Reality television.
Real Housewives (My Assets)
We all know there’s little “real” when it comes to the Real Housewives. But those of us who do not have theatrical (or sex industry) jobs need not indulge our face painting tendencies to the extent that we see in the media.
Then again, this is only my opinion. As is the (obvious?) reality that how to wash your face is easier when you don’t hide it in the first place.
Certainly, not to the extreme and unnatural max that we see in the New Jersey, Beverly Hills, and Orange County Housewives – and most of the time, I exempt New Jersey’s Caroline from that mix. In fact, I love when we see any of these women closer to “au naturel.” They’re so much more real, and it’s so much more of a pleasure to enjoy them when we can actually see them.
Last evening? I couldn’t help but catch a glimpse of Gretchen Rossi of the OC, as I was puttering about the kitchen and Bravo was humming in the background. The fake lashes? The thick foundation? The layers and layers of gloss on lips? The sparkly blue shadow?
My Face, My Self?
Anyone who knows me realizes that I care how I look. I love being a woman – and in particular, a woman who appreciates men. That said, I’m willing to step outside my home on the disheveled side. I definitely exercise in old clothes as seems suitable. I prefer a bit of makeup when I go out, for any purpose, and more in the evening for a special occasion. And I do run errands without a speck of makeup on at times, which I consider the epitome of “normal” – if anything such as “normal” exists.
My beauty regimen (cough, choke, sputter)?
I wash my face by splashing water on it, drying with a towel, and then using a little hypoallergenic (supermarket) moisturizer. Two minutes, max.
I spend another two minutes (that’s it) indulging in a touch of Dior on the eyes, and clear or slightly rosy gloss (Dior) on the lips. And yes, there is that dab of Chanel between my breasts and at the pulse points, adding fifteen seconds.
Dating and Mating, Don’t Keep Him Waiting!
When going out on a date (for example) I take twenty minutes and vamp it up slightly – the cheeks, the eyes. Occasionally, I paint my fingernails. (Vixen.)
I use makeup for the purpose of enhancement rather than to conceal or pretend: concealing who I am to the point of being unrecognizable; pretending I’m 20-something when I’ve passed the half century mark. I find nothing quite so aging as too much makeup, whether you’re 30 or 50.
I indulge in my painting pleasures because I feel better when I do – more feminine, more flirtatious, more confident. I know that if I’m looking good – my good – I’m better prepared for whatever may come.
Besides, you never know who you haven’t met yet – a potential client, a new friend, the next love of your life, or a weary spirit in need of your most genuine smile.
Support for the (Beauty) Revolution?
Ready for a revolution? A minor beauty revolution? I know I am.
Body image issues? We’ve had those for decades, and they remain a pressing concern.
Are there more important things to worry about? Of course – like poverty, the economy, health care, our perturbing political agendas.
But what about how the women of this country face themselves – literally?
What about how we feel about our faces – beautiful in our natural imperfections, and equally so as we age? Is that a pipe dream? An impossibility? Aren’t we influenced profoundly by how we look or how we think we look? Aren’t those beliefs integral to the vigor and confidence we bring to each day?
Shouldn’t we encourage each other to be ourselves and feel good about ourselves, without the need to hide who we are in pursuit of some distorted definition of (youthful, homogeneous) beauty? And no, I’m not saying I don’t miss my dewier skin of a few years back, but I’m grateful to be aging, grateful to be here and healthy, and I wish that more of us were willing to dispense not only with the nips and tucks, but the makeup excesses that don’t hide our stresses.
Wash Your Face (Your Way)
Love your makeup? Have at it! I love mine, too.
But maybe when you wash your face at night, you’ll think about what is being removed, and what exactly you attach to it.
Self-confidence? Identity? Familiarity? Fear?
Is it mask rather than enhancement?
Are there revelations in your mirror?
We all use what we have – our humor and our smarts, our compassion and our capabilities, our beauty, our charm, and “simple” good manners. We use it or lose it; we use it to our advantage – to get a better deal on a price, to negotiate that sexy loaner, to catch the eye of someone who intrigues us.
But I’d like us to consider not only greater acceptance of our bodies as they are, but our faces as they are – becoming. They are our fullest reflection of what we think and how we feel. So perhaps we might lighten up so we may brighten up, and in so doing show up – for real.
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Amen! And Bravo! (Or should I say, Brava! to clarify that I mean the accolade, not the network!) 😉
I love the distinction you draw between masking and enhancement. I’m all in favor of women doing whatever they want to make themselves feel good, inside and out. But I also worry about the way in which we’re bombarded with images that suggest we would be somehow worthier if we were only skinnier, blonder, had bigger boobs, etc. – and the ways in which those images influence the choices we make.
I’ve been living in the sick house the past few weeks – first me, then the kids – and, when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, I was surprised by how tired I looked. I noticed my ratty t-shirt and yoga pants and my still un-brushed hair. Was it the neater clothes that I changed into and a quick sweep of blush and mascara that made me feel better when I left to take my son to preschool? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe it was just taking a couple of minutes for me.
“I’m all in favor of women doing whatever they want to make themselves feel good, inside and out. But I also worry about the way in which we’re bombarded with images that suggest we would be somehow worthier if we were only skinnier, blonder, had bigger boobs, etc… “
Exactly, Kristen!
I think these are all personal choices – or were, once. Now? Less so. (Care to join the Revolution?) 🙂
You do more than I do 🙂 I just wash my face with water and pat dry. If my skin is feeling very oily, then I follow up with a witch hazel pad, but that’s it.
The basic stuff is good for a reason, isn’t it, April.
I do realize there are influences (and pressures) that are age-specific, regional, community-specific – perhaps even subject to marital status! I’m of a believer that more is usually less, except perhaps if you’re talking shoes… 😉
My regimen includes foundation, powder, blush, eye-liner, lash curler, brow liner (because I have a scar that cuts across my brow) and tinted lip balm. I know, it sounds laborious but believe it or not, it takes me all of five minutes every morning.
Like you, I like to look and feel good, but I also do not want to lose myself entirely in the process. You’re right in that it should be an enhancement of our best features, not a complete transformation that we don’t even recognize ourselves. When someone says to me that I don’t even look like I’m wearing makeup, that’s the best compliment of all 🙂
Quite the opposite with bridal makeup that I’ve seen. Really? Why wouldn’t you want to look like your shiny, happy self on one of the most important days of your life? I get looking beautiful but looking like someone else?
I also don’t get reality TV; anything with the words “real” from Hollywood, as far as I’m concerned, is laughable. They continue to create a “reality” that’s so distorted (and so belongs in an alternate universe) that I don’t even know where to begin when trying to teach my girls what it means to love and accept themselves for who they really are. My older daughter may only be three but she is already exposed to friends who make body image comments. Three! (Coincidentally, that’s the topic of my post today. Between your post and mine, we’re on a mission to save our gender from Hollywood it would seem.)
Oh – don’t get me started on the “bridal” look, Justine! So glad we’re in this revolution together. And as a mother of sons, it’s up to us to teach them as well – by our example, our words, the people we bring into their worlds and how we assess their worthiness.
Headed to your site to check out what you wrote!
And by the way, I wouldn’t mind knowing what the men think of getting up close and personal with all that makeup…
I guess Fran and I go more with April’s approach. Be reasonably clean and neat, stay in shape, nothing more. Think I mentioned we went to an Academy Awards party, and for that Fran looked and looked to see if she had any make-up. Finally found something for her eyes, so that we could have the appropriate “glamorous” look (I just dug out my tux. Her profile pic of the result may be public at https://www.facebook.com/#!/fransheldon ). She used to need some makeup for her professional work at a center city law firm, but dumped it after that job was over. We all have to make certain compromises for our work — how much becomes the question. She certainly wasn’t wearing anything when we first met for our historic hike in the woods in the rain — good thing, because we both got totally soaked.
Yes! I’d like to hear what men have to say too!
I’m no expert on make-up by any means. My general thoughts in that direction are pretty simple – If you notice it, it is too much; beauty comes from within.
Beauty from within comes from self-knowledge, and often in the form of a nice smile. An honest, revealing, heartfelt smile is the most beautiful thing in the world. True for all relationships, really….
So true, Robert. A smile works wonders.
Water is my usual approach, morning or night. However, I have a stock of cleansing products that seem to have dropped into my lap – except for the Pond’s cold cream which I bought last time I was in the US. I enjoy using those for fun once every week or two. Ponds reminds me of my Grandmother, who had lovely skin all the way up the 91. My face looks older than it did 20 years ago. I’d rather look like I did then, but since that’s not possible, I’m prepared to just live with it. I put on a bit of make up most days, but not always.
A while ago, another blogger (and for the life of me I can’t remember who) wrote about wearing make-up and noted that at a time in her life when she didn’t need it (her teens and 20s) she wore tons of it. And now, as she was approaching 50, she couldn’t care less about make-up at a time in her life when she probably needed some. Funny how life works that way.
@Jane – Love this!
@Shelley – I remember Pond’s. My grandmother used it, too. (Your comment brought back a lovely memory, thank you.)
Love this! As the bullshit we are fed constantly about product, appearance and happiness absolutely drives me nuts. Has anyone else noticed that the women used to sell anti wrinkle creams, expensive anti aging procedures, etc. all look like the are 20 years old to begin with. I admit I have spent over 50 bucks (one time) on an anti aging cream….used it faithfully and when it was gone 2 months later, I just looked 2 months older. I see a dermatologist for skin cancer…when he learned I used Noxema and Oil of Ol’Lady, he recommended a very expensive cleanser and moisturizer. I asked if it would help with the skin cancer and he reluctantly said…NO, but it is a nice product.
I want to age gracefully… cultivate laugh lines by laughing, squint lines from staring into the eyes of my grand daughter. I think the crime is giving the message that young, gorgeous women aren’t lovely enough and need to be fixed. I JUST HATE THAT.
Thanks so much for your comment, Kristine. (Joining the revolution?)
Somehow we’ve lost the concept of aging gracefully. Can’t say I quite understand it. And you’re right about communicating that even our young, beautiful women are somehow not good enough. Hell, we accept that society tells all women that we’re not good enough!