Looks? Sure, they matter.
Health? Naturally.
Money? Stuff? Of course. We all have to eat, right?
Yet I look around my little house and the way I count my riches has to do with stacks of books on my bedroom floor – eighteen of them – an assortment of references and magazines that have overflowed the nearby shelves.
Reading material lends me a sense of abundance. If I am rich in books, I am rich. Or so I have always felt.
Disappointments in life?
We all have them, but mine seem smaller in the light and shadow of thoughtful words.
But there are other stacks – bills, and they waited on the kitchen table for weeks until this morning when I attacked them with resolve. Yet I noted the sinking feeling when it comes to their impact. I thought of the opposite of abundance: scarcity.
I thought of scarcity of funds, scarcity of opportunities, scarcity of time most of all – and the psychological repercussions of feeling at a loss or overwhelmed.
And how might this little war play out – abundance pitted against scarcity? How is it unfolding across this nation in homes like mine? Are words my only weaponry for an offensive or defensive maneuver?
Assessing Assets
We all have assets: smarts, wit, talent, work ethic, kindness, and so much more. Family is an asset, as is friendship. Community is certainly an asset, and one which women are especially good at creating and taking advantage of. And speaking of women, for whom youth, beauty, body image and self-esteem are inextricably linked, perhaps a different sort of “stacked” comes to mind.
Breasts, and the bigger the better, preferably of the gravity-defying sort which seems to be the style regardless of size. A pretty face? Best have that as well.
As a woman, with youth and good looks, odds are you’ll get somewhere – at least for awhile.
For men, perhaps it’s all about the “package,” to be interpreted as you will, along with the fat wallet. And if you don’t inherit what’s in that wallet, it’s up to you to fill it, using your brains, your skills, and your determination.
No, I’m not being cynical; I’m recognizing the way many men and women view themselves, not to mention the way they assess potential mates. I understand it, and I willingly admit that I’ve run into it often enough over the years to know it’s real.
Stacked in Your Favor?
Beauty is an asset. We know that.
But if you have friends, family, loved ones, humor, skills, and so on – not to mention those old standbys we forget about – values and character – I’d say you’ve got it made.
But let’s talk about abundance.
Dictionary.com defines it as:
an extremely plentiful or oversufficient quantity or supply; overflowing fullness; affluence, wealth
Of course, abundance has long been about acquisition (enough, or more than enough), and that’s only natural. We gather to insure that we’re prepared for the future and able to survive. We’re stacking the odds in our favor by doing so, until we risk toppling or being buried.
Sometimes, we reach a point of wishing we were more given to “spiritual abundance” rather than material stockpiling.
Kisses and Missus
As women, don’t we derive a significant amount of self-esteem from appearance? Who hasn’t dreamed of a different body – taller, shorter, rounder, thinner? Perkier booty? Less calamitous cleavage? We diet, we exercise, we obsess over noses and whine over thighs – all in an attempt to “up” those odds again.
So we feel accepted.
So we feel good enough.
So we are “deserving” of love.
And for some, we tweak and tinker our forms and features so kisses convert to Missus – marriage as the brass ring, the be-all-end-all, the safe haven we can settle into.
Except there is no safe haven. There are men and women trying to stack the odds in their own favor – as individuals, and ideally, as a couple. Marriage is a not a destination; it is a beginning, a journey, a new sort of abundance or, possibly, the road to scarcity.
Stacked to Overflowing?
There is indeed a psychology to abundance – not only spiritual but economic.
In fact, it is very American to believe in the economic psychology of abundance, particularly when it comes to the notion of individual performance leading to “success.” Some refer to this as
a belief that resources and opportunities are plentiful and it is up to each individual to take advantage of them
On the other side of the spectrum sits the psychology of scarcity, more common to Europe, and predicated on a belief that
resources and opportunities are limited
If I apply these same principles to my little universe of assets and liabilities, to available resources and those that are dwindling, I find myself wavering between abundance and scarcity – living them both simultaneously.
My abundance? Yes, acceptable looks, a bounty of books, reasonable health, children who are thriving. I am also fortunate in cherished friends and loved ones – very few, but very special.
Scarcity? Any certainty about what comes next. Stacks of bills and an increasing worry as to how I will cover them. And in this sort of scarcity, I am in good company in this country.
And what about spiritual abundance? That which I consider a sense of connection, of purpose, and even of fun?
I like to think I possess a “plentiful quantity,” but is it enough to counterbalance practical realities? Aging in a troubled workforce? Woman without the familial safe haven? Too little time for the stacks of books, and too few assets for the stacks of bills?
Your Turn
Can you recognize what is stacked in your favor and stacked against you?
- What makes you feel full, or whole, or rich, or safe… “abundant” in some noticeable way?
- What sort of scarcity is most frightening to you?
- When you are dealing with both ends of the spectrum simultaneously, how do you take full advantage of what is going well, and battle against what is not?
Great post. I am making my list.
Ha! A bit of a morning ramble, Madge. But I think we all have more assets then we realize. Now the trick is to channel our sense of abundance into methods to address the “scarcities.”
If you figure that out – let me know, will you? 😉
During tough times, I always went to the library and left with an armful, feeling rich.
Just smiling, Pj… Something lovely about library books…
It is cliche if you will, but when I was younger I was far more interested in what she looked like. Age and life experience taught me that there were more important qualities that I was missing out on.
In terms of what I need and what I fear- well those are easy. Take care of those I love and give me enough to stimulate mind and body and I am happy.
When times are tough I do my best to write, exercise and keep grinding it out because the downtimes don’t last forever.
Being picky about it, an asset is something that increases in value; very few books do this. People – me included – give books their own emotional pull and the reasons we collect, display and hoard them are laughable when examined with detachment. I love my books too, mind, but I try to cull them if I’m not actually re-reading them and as someone said earlier, the library is a precious institution. I was slim and almost pretty in my youth. I never felt pretty but when I lost my youth I became aware that I had relied on my looks to a certain extent. It was my willingness to learn and to work that advanced my career, but being reasonably attractive didn’t hurt.
I think my greatest asset is that I’ve learned to live well and be content on little money. I have little income, but also no debt. There is an abundance of choices to be made every day about whether to spend or not. From the age of 30 when I discovered The Tightwad Gazette newsletter (now a book or several) and learned a different ethos. It wasn’t Amy’s tips that changed me so much as her editorials, which then made me value the tips. I’m very grateful to her. Trent at the Simple Dollar blog has picked up this baton I think. You might find his ideas useful if you are worried about money.
As for scarcity, being an American who lives in England, I worry about the scarcity of common sense and intelligent solutions in not just politicians but the public as well. On one hand one hears the idea that “No one should have to work if they don’t want to, it should be voluntary. If they wanted to, we could all live off the taxes of the rich.” (from granted, one lunatic, but the other I thought a fairly sensible young man). On the other, it’s “Cut taxes, cut spending, get rid of immigrants, less government! My pension? I’m entitled to that, I paid for it, I fought for this great country, you can’t reduce my pension!” It sounds like ‘I’ve got mine (big house, giant belly, big motorhome); tough on the rest of you lot.’ It’s all disgusting to me and sad and scary as well. I’m not sure Americans quite realise that it’s not just about them anymore. In this global – and shakey – economy their decisions impact everyone else, too.
So make sure you really are working for your own best interests and not just for the outward trappings of an abundant life. End of sermon.
sigh. Oh BLW I can relate to your words so often. Parallel lives.
Richness comes in so many forms. Family, kids, close friends and living a double life in a movie or book.
A small break from the stresses of the day… those stacks of bills that just seem to keep growing. I wish you some peace and riches in the coming weeks.