Who doesn’t remember the Sex and the City episode in which the girls talk about their secret single behavior?
What woman – or man for that matter – doesn’t have their little set of private habits and rituals they’d rather not divulge?
Tantalizing rewards for your psyche? Hidden haunts for an indulgence or two? Come on. You know you have a few.
Spill!
My secret single behavior
As for moi, my days start early and they end late! A little child psychology with a guilty pleasure to get me through?
Yes, indeed. And often, that means a bite of Bravo (Sur)Reality TV – a few UnReal Housewives, a very tasty Top Chef (congratulations Richard), and Andy Cohen-with-the-4-1-1!
But single behavior?
Definitely.
How many guys out there would look forward to reruns of the Orange County Housewives, or leave me to enjoy all things Bethenny and her wicked one-liners? These are private rituals for comfort, for harmless mind-emptying relaxation, and not for sharing.
Flirtatious Frolic
Naturally, there are ample additional activities. You know, like dreaming myself into a romantic bubble bath with a cabana boy. Or better yet, a hot-hottie-hot Frenchman with the maturity to know exactly how to swim!
Hey, I’m only human… And I am single! Think my mind doesn’t take the plunge to more sensory and sensual scenes?
What else?
Emptying the Mind, Personal Pampering
If I have time, a little personal pampering might be in order, along with a little fantasizing. Hey! Samantha would fess up, wouldn’t she?
I’m also mad for Mad Men, and mighty mad we’ve got to wait months longer for the fifth season! But at least there will be a fifth, and a sixth, according to a recent article on the series renewal.
So where does that leave me until then, other than longingly lusting after hunky Hamm?
Right where I am – curled up at midnight around my Mad Men DVDs, or returning to my urban woman “roots,” with saucy Sex and the City episodes. (Anyone else care to admit to a little SATC addiction?)
And then there’s my true Secret Single Behavior.
It’s no secret
Alone time. Absolutely ambitiously avariciously unequivocally amped-up vamped-up time – entirely to myself. Rare, though it is.
No emails. No phone. No need to speak – to anyone. Trying on my favorite shoes. Reading Rilke in a sexy slip. Wandering web sites in a worn t-shirt – whatever the mood dictates.
And then there are those freaky facials, wacky waxing, twitchy tweezing. (Charlotte (yes, SATC) used to study her pores in the mirror. Um, non merci. Pass the Dirty Martini. And the ham(m).)
Your personal pampering? Private peculiarities?
Surely you have a penchant for peaceful private particulars, no?
Wouldn’t we all prefer a shower and toilet time without toddlers in tow, the door thrown open, or paper thin walls at the worst possible times?
Who doesn’t benefit from a modicum of mystery? Who doesn’t fare better with some secret single behavior – even if you’re married? And what parent doesn’t suffer from a need for their own mental space now and again, preferring to savor a guilty pleasure alone?
I confess – I thrive on my mini-moments of alone time, so I can find a way to think clearly, and occasionally – breathe. And I certainly need it for another one of my not-so-secret, not-so-single behaviors – writing.
So what is it? Sloughing or snoozing? Shopping or schmoozing? Bravo or boozing?
- Do you have regular routines you don’t engage in with your significant other?
- Would you rather have two hours of silence instead of painting the town red?
- Do you share bathroom time, shower time, kitchen time – all your time?
- What rituals would you not like others to see?
- What would you rather not see?
Image of Jon Hamm, AMCTV.com.
More Mad Men? Mad Men Reviews! (My not-so-secret single behavior.)
I crave alone time. With two teenagers, a 7 month old lab puppy, and work, I never seem to find the time to be alone. On those rare occasions, I pour myself a mimosa, plop in front of my TV and catch up on Real Housewives of Orange County and NCIS. Something about that Gibbs really makes me smile. 🙂
I’m right there next to you, Linda… (but without the puppy). Maybe it should be called a Momosa?
“Secret Single Behavior” Ah, how can anything be secret with this obvious encouragement to describe same? I have all the obvious secrets, except engaged in rather non-secretly. Which makes it all rather dull, I guess. Let’s see:
You describe some things you enjoy doing privately, but there’s nothing inherently secret about such things. I enjoy some solo hiking/backpacking.
Secret behaviors could be either to avoid personal embarrassment or to avoid embarrassing others.
At times I may wear clothes simply to avoid embarrassing others…that’s fine by me, and no secret.
What about some usually private but not necessarily secret behaviors. Unromantic things, like #2 in the bathroom. We have one bathroom, and Fran and I try to give one another space but are not rigid about it.
These thoughts certainly do not entertain your readers, so let’s try something else.
Pornography…well, I still have some old copies of Playboy magazine. Mostly for the memories. Most online pornography today seems pointless and generally gross. Women know men do check it (and vice versa), to varying degrees. No secret. But the picture is no substitute for the real, so who cares.
What men (and women) do alone when deprived of physical company for a period of time (even if married) — should be no surprise to anyone.
Wish I could reveal something like dressing up in a Donald Duck costume or something. It’s not even a secret that I’m a Quaker pacifist revolutionary socialist.
(Oh, but it is embarrassing to be sick. I’ve never been in the hospital, but tend to hide out when sick, like it’s an embarrassing weakness. Must be my New England upbringing.)
All excellent points, Paul!
Okay. Here’s one. (Only my kids know. Um, but I’m about to spill.) When I’m in a really really really bad mood, and no one is around, I eat frosting… straight out of the Betty Crocker container. (I don’t do it often and it’s the sign of a terrible day, and my kids rag on me dreadfully if they see it. Usually, I sneak the container when no one is looking… ;))
And that porn thing? Playboy is “art” if you ask me (albeit occasionally campy – especially vintage pics). Perhaps we’ve all become inured to certain imagery, thanks to the Internet. Then again, many human behaviors are far more natural than we (puritanical) Americans deem them. Now about that Donald Duck costume…
I am now single and can’t imagine sharing my beauty routines with a man. This would include waxing my legs, giving myself a facial, and plucking my eyebrows, etc. I have strange habits around food and consume some things straight out of their containers, like ice cream and juice. My meal times are not consistent… and sometimes I eat weird stuff for dinner, like rice cakes and avocado. On the weekends, I like to take a long nap. I’m sure if I were married, I would have to act differently.
I’m so with you, Lindy, on all of this. As for the “if I were married…” – if you marry a man who understands you need some “private” time (or who travels, but not too much!) – that helps. So glad you stopped by to comment. Hope you come back again.
(Rice cakes and avocado? Does that go well with cream cheese frosting and a granola chaser?)
Once had a ladyfriend who refused to let me ever see her preparations for being beautiful – very secretive about it. Attractive, extremely fit, no inhibitions. This was her secrecy — she wanted me to have only beautiful memories of our brief times and to think that it was all effortless (well, she was married). I wondered if she wasn’t changing from her Martian avatar when she retreated briefly into the bathroom — sort of like Superman in a phone booth. (She came to our wedding – nice lady in her way.)
There are certain beauty routines that my ex-husband was never privy to, nor any man in a relationship since. (Yes, some of us do disappear into a phone booth… )
Since I turned 17, I’ve never been single. But I do have my secret behavior that I would love to share with my wife. She is not interested at all. Since she is damn near perfect in every other aspect of our relationship, I don’t think I have anything to complain about.
Not being single in my adulthood though may come from being born into a family of seven. I can’t imagine not being with my special someone, family, and friends. I’m not wired that way. And my secret behaviors? They are probably not so secret.
Now I’m curious, Gandalfe. Come on. Spill… 😉
And I can’t imagine never having time to myself – even if it’s between 3 and 4 a.m.! (Seven of you. WOW.)
Without prejudice to individual differences, I don’t think BLW is a likely backpacker. 🙂
Have no idea why you would say such a thing, Paul. (Cough, choke, please pass my pumps.)
When I make chocolate chip cookies, before I add the chips, I stash away a supply of batter in the frig, which I eat all by myself over the next couple of days. My wife (the Nora Hospital) says I’m at risk for Salmonella, but I say live a little. Plus it increases the density of the chocolate chips in the finished cookies, so everybody wins.
Excellent, Wolf! (After all, you’re the doctor. Shouldn’t you know best?) And love the density advantage!
Now I’m going to stalk Gandalfe, trying to figure out his secret! Ah, such sweet torment! I always love coming here.
I am a SITC addict, too. Even the castrated versions they show on Bravo! Have you ever had a conversation with your girlfriends about which SITC character you are? I used to do that, when the show was in its heyday. Everyone said I was Carrie but I secretly thought I was more like Miranda.
I love that you eat frosting from the can.
I am a pore-studier, a picker, and a stealth cheese eater.
So happy to escape baby world for a few minutes to read your words! As always, intriguing stuff here. I have PLENTY of secret single behaviors, but am currently unwilling to share what they are 🙂 Can you imagine if we all shared all the little things we did? Life would be very different, wouldn’t it?
I will admit that I am a wee bit addicted to Bravo at the present moment 🙂
Ugh, blogging? LOL. It’s been a point of contention in my household because prior to this, I had NO hobby to speak of and now they feel the competition for my attention…
I also just realized something and that’s why I raced back to comment on this post: I put on makeup before I head downstairs to the Starbucks in my office building… ALWAYS.
Well, it involves a saxophone, white socks, and an Aebersold book. That’s alls I’ms sayin’… ;0)
Re Aidan “Can you imagine if we all shared all the little things we did?” We’d soon get used to it and life would be much duller (think what it would do to gossip), but probably easier. I don’t believe folks are fooling others as much as they think they are, and who cares anyway? If folks have a reason to speak of things and share equally and are trustworthy, I have no secrets. Guess maybe that narrows it down to my wife. I hold in strict confidence what others tell me in confidence.
I love silence. And I love filling it with loud music inappropriate to the kiddo set. I love not thinking about anyone else, just being me. That’s why I enjoy my husband’s travel. We have time together (hooray for that!) and time to just be ourselves. I need space. But not for particular acts. ( I do love SITC, I got my guy addicted too.) My secret single behavior? Oh, once I had some serious plucking habits, but I’ve let that go.
Kate – wonderful! (I bet plenty of mothers can relate to all of it… )
I feel great and happy every time I spend some time alone, away from the reality of being a responsible woman of 4 kids. This doesn’t mean that Im happy forgetting my responsibilities as a mother, it’s just that a time alone with just a cup of dark coffee and a slice of cake in the garden simply made my day! That’s when I spend a rewarding couple of minutes to an hour by myself.