Body image issues? Who, me? What about you?
What woman doesn’t look in the mirror and imagine herself taller, shorter, thinner, bustier? Who doesn’t want the raised rack, trimmer thighs, tighter tummy, or bouncier butt?
And don’t get me started on the self-inflicted tortures over hair, skin, hands, our less than bleach-bright smiles, our not quite pouty lips, our furrowed brows, our… well… everything.
Are there some women out there who are not body image obsessed? I imagine so, yes. But none that I know.
Listen, I like looking at a beautiful body as much as the next person, though we might not agree on what “beautiful” is.
And I’ll admit that “obsessed” eventually gives way to “bothered,” or some other lesser emotional state. Typically, when we’re off the dating market – as in married, chasing kids, or swamped with work and otherwise focused on more immediate matters. I will also admit to a fair amount of body image misery of my own in my lifetime. I haven’t always seen myself clearly, and I know that.
Women and Body Image
Like most women, I’ve been at war (however nicely) just to make my way in the world. Far more troubling – I have been at war with myself, esteem linked to appearance, specifically, whatever I thought was an acceptable weight and shape.
Fortunately, I’m no longer driven to step on a scale (and judge myself “good” or “bad” according to the number), I don’t “what if” myself imagining a taller, thinner, or surgically enhanced version of moi, and obsession has indeed yielded to occasional bouts of self-doubt and vague wistfulness for my pre-baby body.
But it doesn’t mean that I don’t feel “lesser” when around a woman who is striking, statuesque, and thin. (I’m only human.) I believe this is at least in part due to the barrage of media images as to what beauty is – impossibly thin (with curves), impossibly glowing (with air brushing), and down right impossible to achieve.
Where Air Brushing Leaves Off, Photoshop Takes Over
We’re long past the era of air brushing. We’re on to Photoshopping already skinny bodies to contour them into ridiculous and implausible figures. There have been mini-uproars over the past few years, as news has broken periodically about digitally altered models in ad campaigns.
But when I read this recent Jezebel article on proposed Photoshop legislation I was dismayed, not only at the idealized stick with tits and ass, this particular digital media practice, but worse – the suggestion that government intervention should solve it.
Right. Laws to prevent Photoshop alteration of images.
Really?? Aren’t there other things tax dollars could be doing?
I’d prefer school programs that deal with a healthy body (affirmative steps) rather than chasing down the Photoshoppers (enforcement) who claim they’re just giving the public what it wants. Might we not agree they’re shaping the public view of what is acceptable?
- I continue to wonder why a woman’s body is such a battlefield.
- Are sexual politics part of your daily contemporary cultural landscape?
- As a woman, how affected are you by what you see in media?
- As a man, what are your expectations of a woman’s body, are they different from your own, and do either evolve as you age?
Boys and Body Image
And lest we be short-sighted, it is not just our young girls (and women) who are impacted by the barrage of imagery and associated shifting vales. Young boys suffer body image pressures of their own. I have certainly seen it in my sons, and I am fully aware that it takes form in different ways for the male of the (human)species.
I may doubt it is as oppressive, pervasive, or permanent for most men as it is for the fairer sex, but that may be a faulty assumption.
How do we even begin to fix this? How do we educate our daughters, our sons, our spouses, our partners and ourselves? How do we recognize the waste in painfully whittled waistlines, and that body as battlefield is bad news?
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Tough one. Curvier, older models were in appearance on some of the runways this year, that’s a step in the right direction. ANTM crowned a full-figured girl as winner a couple of seasons ago. Unfortunately fashion, and it’s effect on “the people” is a two way street. Sometimes trends are set on the runway and are reflected on the street but they also start on the street and show up on the runway. Change is a slow process that takes a long time to trickle down to teenage girls.
Technology has made the situation even worse. I like to think I’m unaffected but it’s impossible to know for sure. I like to look nice and I’d tell you I was doing it for myself and wearing what I like but who knows where “what I like” comes from?
On a lighter note, HuffPo did one of their little slide shows on Photoshop fails recently. Some of them are pretty funny –
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/09/19/funniest-photoshop-fails_n_731037.html
I was pleased when I saw that ANTM had a “full figured” girl win (about a size 12?) and they also had a petite competition (a shrimpboat of 5’7″ won, as I recall). You’re quite right that technology has flamed the spread of everything good and problematic – including whatever body types are in fashioLove the HuffPo link!
Very intersting topic…first step in stopping it and changing societies’ view is media, fashion magazines…Hollywood! It has become sad. I attended a workshop last night which the speaker titled her talk “Beauty will save the world”. This of course offered the opportunity to look deep and find “real beauty” and answer the question how you think that can be a true statement. Was very interesting, might blog about it at some point.
This sounds like a fascinating topic, Suzicate. Inner beauty is what we hope to find, isn’t it? But it isn’t what makes the world go round. Fashion magazines and Hollywood. Absolutely.
The body image – it is a sad part of our society. From my experiences in Europe, it doesn’t seem to be as hot a topic as it is here – though I would guess that it is something that lives in all countries and ethnicities in different forms.
My house is “image” free… it is all about living healthy and there is little emphasis put on looks. Body is a tool – a part of the artist pallet – it is taken care of and appreciated. I have no idea how this is going to fly when the teen aged years hit – but right now… body is beautiful!
I know what you mean about Europe, TE.
I’ll also say that it surprised me when my boys hit 11, 12… and began to think they were fat – it passed, but it took a couple of years and their growth spurts as they hit full-on puberty. And even in later adolescence, they exhibited concern for their “looks” in comparison to others. I always thought this was purely a girl-woman thing. Maybe predominantly, but not exclusively.
Healthy living. If only it were about that! But it’s also nature that we attract others in order to mate, no? So that attraction (and how powerful we feel when we exert it) does play an important role.
I see a connection between your piece today and that of a couple of days ago (about your son’s new gym membership). With the absence of physical fitness requirements in so many of our secondary schools and the continuing abundance of unhealthy food choices in school cafeterias, I fear that social studies or health class programs on positive body image might fall in a vacuum. I grew up playing sports and learned how eating decently gave me the fuel I needed to compete as an athlete and to stay awake as a student. Are gym class and salad bars in the cafeteria the answer? Nope. But they’d help, I think.
You’re so right, Kristen. There is absolutely a connection between that post on teen exercise and this one – on body image and esteem. Of course health comes into play, but even as a senior in high school, my son wants to look and be more fit. Excellent point about the lack of PE requirements in secondary school – or rather – the PE requirements are lacking in some way, and extracurricular sports, by high school, are so time-intensive that a serious academic student is hard pressed to participate unless he can give up part of his weekend and 4 afternoons/week.
Gym and salad bar? It would definitely help!
For me, exercise is all about feeling good. It is the Number 1 thing we can do to fight depression – the endorphins produced by exercise are an instant boost. And just working out also makes me feel more self-confident, even if I’m not losing weight. It’s like a miracle drug.
I wish we could teach physical activity as a way of life (quality time with family, fun with friends) not a means to an end (losing weight, looking like a model, getting the girl).
I really relate to your description of the balance between confidence and wistfulness. Most of the time, I feel healthy (though always, always in need of more energy, more exercise) and confident. I have “if only…” moments sometimes, of course, and I often spend too much time worrying over ensembles. But that’s my vanity, for better or worse, and though I know I’ve had my share of cultural and societal influences, it feels like me.
I have a sister who really isn’t body image-obsessed. I admire her; I’m proud of her. And I don’t know how she does it!
I’ve always been naturally thin, but not always healthy. There is a huge difference between being thin and being healthy. If I had to pick between the two, it would be HEALTHY every time. I think if the media message (particularly targeted to kids and teens) would revolve around health, and not weight, or stature, or size, we’d be in a completely different ballgame on this issue.
I try to never compare myself physically to other women, verbally in their presence, unless I am giving them a sincere compliment. Which would you rather hear #1 “My, you look really nice today, those jeans fit you perfectly.” OR #2 “You’re so thin and I look fat and terrible – I could never fit in those jeans.” You would be absolutely amazed how many people voice #2. Thing is, #2 makes both people feel bad, so why do women do that to each other??
Wonderful example, Tracy – thank you!
Plastic surgery and photoshopping have made the “ideal” a mere caricature of true beauty. It feeds the body dysmorphia that plagues girls and boys, women and men. So many have a hard time loving and accepting ourselves. Just where marketers need us to be so they can sell us (insert product name) to make our lives perfect. Blech.
While I agree that there is some obsession with the “perfect” body, I think that obsession has died down since I was a teenager. Or, maybe anorexia and bulimia are no longer the teenager crisis du jour. One thing I do know is that America is fat. I am a people watcher – and I’ve been noticing it a lot lately – even if it wasn’t on the news. What I find perplexing is that I see these young girls and women who wear clothes completely in appropriate for their body type and it doesn’t seem to bother them a bit. I’m not convinced today’s youth is as obsessed with body appearance as it used to be. My (albeit completely unfounded) is that it’s a product of “new” parenting. The type of parenting where you are supposed to tell your kid how great they are in every way, no matter where they might truly fall within the spectrum. The real message, (of course in my opinion), is that you love your kid no matter what – but over-weight at 18, 19, 20 is only going to lead to being really over-weight at 40 or 50. And that’s not good for any of us.
I think you raise some interesting questions, Cathy. There are a lot of tributaries to this topic. The issue of “new” (lax, always praising) parenting (and its causes?), whether or not anorexia, bulimia, and other eating disorders are as prevalent (and less publicized?), or if things have changed at all in 20 or 30 years.
As for teen girls today, while I have sons, I’ve been close to some of their female friends growing up. And their body (self) consciousness when they hit the tween years was obvious – totally healthy (not overweight, athletic, attractive) girls, trying special diets to get skinnier, and never satisfied with their appearance. As I’ve watched these girls grow into young women and leave for college (some of them), I find myself wondering if they have the core of appearance insecurity that so many of us had of other generations. I don’t know. (Perhaps I’ll ask.)
I enjoy exercise because it clears my head. I do also fall prey to battling those few extra pounds and am painfully aware when the scale begins climbing in the wrong direction. But luckily my daughter associates exercise with something that is part of my everyday life. She asks the days when I don’t go run or to the gym, “Aren’t you going to exercise?” I hope she picks up the exercise habit as she grows older.