Corsets
The satiny fabric. The slow and careful snap of the hooks against soft flesh. The touches of trim or lace. Strong boning that tightens my waist and accentuates my natural curves.
Corsets.
I love them.
For some, corsets may seem the very antithesis of what today’s woman might consider acceptable, much less enjoy. Yet I do. I find elegant, sexy, and stylish lingerie to be more than capable of turning up the heat on the chilliest afternoon. And I deem exquisite underthings to be a gift to myself and my femininity, as well as to any man whose company I am keeping.
While I am certainly not a nubile young thing, I am a woman who loves men, who loves play, who loves lovemaking, playfully.
Lust lingers when you stir the embers with a smile, a petulant pout, delights revealed with a touch of naughty surprise, and the challenge of just a bit more work to reach the prize. After all – must every encounter sing in the same register?
Isn’t variety the spice of life, and isn’t a little spice for your love life just the thing?
Audacity
The impudence and cockiness of the corset lies in all its fine detail, its bawdy to innocent array of selections, with something for every appetite. Of course it conjures the wench in her bodice, woman as constrained and confined, cinched and pinched in ways we may consider conflicting with contemporary consciousness.
And yet… When it comes to our sexual fantasies, who hasn’t had a fleeting thought of simmering scenarios of which, perhaps, we dare not speak?
What woman doesn’t want to be desired – fiercely, fancifully, tenderly?
What man or woman hasn’t fantasized about the stranger on the train, the piercing eyes whose gaze from across the room causes capricious and carnal climate change?
Who hasn’t wanted to be the damsel, innocent and sweet in white, and then again – the vixen, offering her voracious enthusiasm to her lover, bewitched by her spell of audacity?
Intimate Interludes
Who says that the profound exchange of lust or love cannot be whipped into a feral frenzy with the aid of a silky slip of fabric adorning a woman’s skin?
Who says a husband, or lover, or whomever you choose (safely please) cannot partake in the intoxication of sexy lingerie? Excitement, for both parties?
My most heated interludes have been with, yes… French men. I find them irresistible. And I have been most fortunate to have loved one or two who delight in amour with intensity, with finesse, with laughter, with role play. Shouldn’t merging of flesh and feeling allow for engagement of all the senses, including fantasy, prolonging the pleasure of whatever consenting adults may find mutually and precociously playful?
I have come to appreciate the energizing effects of luscious lingerie – designer lingerie if possible.
(Thank you, Monsieur Eiffel, for the engineering skills which apparently trickle down to the construction efforts of my personal wares. A matter of national pride, peut-être?)
Hidden Pleasures of Fine Lingerie
My own fine lingerie includes a few classic items purchased in Paris, as well as one in the US. These are not inelegant or uncomfortable to wear; on the contrary. They resemble what you see here. And most audaciously hidden – when no one might imagine – beneath the beige business attire, the proper white blouse and fitted flannel skirt, the perfect pair of pumps, even the worn jeans.
No one need know; I do this for me. I feel feminine, flirty, and powerful when I allow myself this aspect of sensual self-esteem. And of course, many corsets are designed as underwear or outerwear. Very chic. Very cheeky.
May I also say that as a woman of ample contours, I find corsets to be much more than alluring? They provide excellent support, and who couldn’t use a little support in everyday life, as well as in the joys of seduction?
The Baby Doll, Camisole, Stockings…
Shall we expand our hedonistic horizons further? My own preference for a coquettish corset does not mean I don’t equally enjoy the bodacious baby doll, the curve-conforming camisole, or sheer stockings (with provocative pumps, naturellement).
You have only to stroll the Internet (in your dewy and humid private moments), and you will find everything from trash-and-flash to my personal favorites – elegant pieces that often work chez moi or as part of street wear. So dare! Indulge your pleasure (and that of your loved one), and put a secret smile on your own lovely lips. Nothing better at the end of a long day of working hard and coming home to little ones who may need you – until a bigger one may desire you.
And if you are a man, and reading – what woman wouldn’t smile paging through fine lingerie alongside you – online or in a catalog? What intimate delights await in the mere discussion of what you might select for amorous adventures?
Feminism and Femininity
Must feminism and femininity be mutually exclusive? Must they clash head-on? (Last time I saw an image of Gloria Steinem, she’d long since abandoned her trademark glasses and no makeup look. I dare say, the answer to those two questions is a resounding no.)
A staunch belief in equal opportunities for women and a, dare I say it… infrastructure to support us, can surely coexist with full appreciation of men. I love our inherent differences, don’t you? And the satisfactions to be tasted in recognizing – and celebrating – our unique, very personal give and take?
The Male Form
Would it surprise you to know that many (most?) women are aroused by other women – whether we wish to engage with them or not? Perhaps we imagine ourselves in their supple limbs, their younger, sleeker, or more voluptuous dimensions. Women find other women beautiful. We find the nude to be an art form.
This has no bearing on a woman’s desire (and attraction) when it comes to the male in all his glory. Lest you think I am not shedding enough luster and light when it comes to his impact on our libidos, may I wax on the many regions of individual inspiration available?
Women do indeed observe men with great gusto. We simply keep more of that to ourselves – drawn to smiles, to eyes that do not turn away from ours, to fine fingers (we imagine at work), to torsos that make us weak in the knees. We are drawn to the tight ass, the long legs, strong thighs, and yes – those batons bound to make their music as they wave smartly to the beat. Sufficiently euphemistic?
We may catch our breath at the simplest gesture over dinner, as we imagine being close, closer, pressed one against the other as the mere movement of fingers, so slight, at the right moment and clutching a coffee or glass of wine is enough to fill this woman to the point of brimming over with a wash of wistful wantonness… I lust, you lust, we lust… so gentlemen who may be reading, kindly do undress slowly so we may savor the view, the aroma, the flavor of what’s to come.
Accessories and Necessities
I may adore my perfume, my signature French accessories, my tremulous touches of eyeliner and gloss for my softened lips, in anticipation… Yes, I hunger for fashionable ensembles when I am in the mood – for my sexy stilettos, my scandalous scanties that someone special may be privy to… the slow and undulating landscapes of form and fever. I have journeyed many years to ownership of sensuality, and sexuality.
As for femininity?
For me, it is far more than my style or clothing, but a matter of voice and expression, of caring and approach, and a genuine appreciation of all things flirtatious and friendly between myself and members of the opposite sex.
Femininity is no accessory; for me it is necessity, it is identity, and femininity will manifest itself in a thousand ways – your ways different from mine, but no less you, and no less sublime.
My right as a woman exercising her rights – at any age, of any body type?
The finest lingerie I have purchased over the years. The lust it kindles in me, the smoldering effects, the rapturous recollections. And when joined in lovemaking with a partner who treasures me, savors me, ignites me, I offer the same, freely, for his most enduring and precious pleasure.
Select images to access the originals and retail sites if applicable.
Group writing challenge, Momalom.com, topic: lust.
Terry says
This is great. My post is the complete opposite of yours. I had to laugh. I applaud you. I wish I felt like you do. I try. I continue to try. But it isn’t me.
It needs to FIT right. not literally. of course. metaphorically.
I wish it FIT me.
I might continue to try.
BigLittleWolf says
You know, Terry, I’ve been many sizes, and certainly during pregnancy and after I didn’t feel “right” in beautiful lingerie. And now I realize that had a lot to do with my marriage, which is a shame. When you explore some of the (fine) sites that are linked beneath the images in my post, you will see that some have “maternity” lingerie (gorgeous), and, there are also larger sizes available.
I’ve written about this before. In France, in my experience (having lived, schooled, worked, traveled there – at various stages – from age 15 up through, um… let’s just say, 40+) women are entitled to feel like women at any age or size. Sexy. Feminine. Are French women generally thinner than Americans? Yes. But not always. Are beautiful clothes or lingerie (or sex for that matter) only for those who are 35 and under? Not.
We could learn a great deal from these women. From this culture that celebrates sensuality and sexuality. It isn’t about the lingerie (though that helps!) – it’s acceptance of one of our greatest human pleasures. And it’s applicability to every adult.
Jen says
Hot and bothered. Wolfie, this is luscious. As usual. It has been far too long since I reached into the depths of my own lingerie samplings. You’ve inspired me. I’m going to make a date with myself and see where it takes me (us). Cheers!
BigLittleWolf says
Luscious! Thanks, Jen! (So much fun participating in this little (writerly?) exercise…)
Christine LaRocque says
First…it’s tremendously funny to me that I was reading this just as I got the ping of your comment on my own post. How fun is that?
Second, may I just say ooooh, la, la!
Lingerie is not something I’ve ever had a good relationship with. I just don’t feel comfortable, though I wish that I did. I’m, ahem, shall we say, curvy (that’s a nice way to put it right?) and when I look at myself in it, I do not see at all what you depict here. Maybe I should work on that!
BigLittleWolf says
I am also curvy. (Check around online – and there are links under the images. NO, I’m not getting anything out of it! 🙂 ) Seriously, there is good lingerie and underwear to fit every size. The Europeans understand that women of any size or age want to feel good and look good. The “curvy” side of the house has many options in the French lingerie boutique. (And several of them are neatly folded and carefully attended to in my closet drawers!)
BigLittleWolf says
Christine – I love that you were reading me as I was reading you! Too cool! (And we curvy women have many lingerie options. Perhaps I need to lead the Parisian Lingerie Tour? Think I’d get any takers?)
Alisha says
I’m so glad I read this today. Last night I was lamenting my lack of self-care and so I finally shaved under my arms, tweezed my brows, and painted my fingernails. How incredibly different I feel–how much more pretty I feel! And I totally agree that feminism and femininity shouldn’t be mutually exclusive. I need to put that into practice more…. Now I’m all excited to buy some lingerie (which I never have before).
BigLittleWolf says
I’m so glad, Alisha! (You’ll have to tell us what you end up considering, in the lingerie department. Um, so to speak.) 😉
Privilege of Parenting says
I’m out of my depth here—when I think corsets I think “Call me Ishmael” and whaling ships and perfume made from ambergris. This is so retro-cool, and great that you celebrate the knowingly sexual side of things.
Not that I haven’t enjoyed shopping for the good stuff for my sweetie, knowing it’s a gift that keeps on giving (back to me, of course), still I thought I was being rather on my game to realize that it was time to toss out that frayed boxers with a rip at the leg.
BigLittleWolf says
Bruce! This makes you think of, um… Moby Dick?? (I’m trying not to chortle.)
This is the French influence on the New England upbringing, of course. (Phew. Good thing.) Now as for tossing out the frayed boxers, bravo! And I’m thinking Andy was delighted. You know I have a “speedos” post as well. And there are generally links under images to take you to relevant sites. So perhaps you and she could peruse for parity? 😉
Kristen @ Motherese says
I really like how Alisha talked about lingerie as an element of “self-care.” Sadly I think I need to undertake her first few steps before I don anything lacy and revealing. (Hmm…do I feel another chapter in the French fashion series coming on?)
But I absolutely agree with you about the possibility of feeling empowered through sexy undergarments. On the (very) few occasions when I’ve treated myself to nice lingerie, it has always made me feel good about myself and good about my body. And there’s nothing wrong with that!
BigLittleWolf says
Alisha nailed it. Self-care. Something women do too little of once we become mothers. You’re so right, Kristen. When we feel better about ourselves, everything feels better.
Nicki says
I am finally ready to buy some slightly sexier lingerie. I have a collection of lacy panties and lacy thongs. I want to get a set of some sort. Now, you have inspired me!
BigLittleWolf says
Fabulous! (Now for some more fun, go peek at TKW’s cool post last night, and then South Park yourself!)
Steve says
I love to buy lingerie for women! Or should I say, a woman. I actually walked into a Victoria’s Secret today longing to buy something for somebody. If I had read this post earlier, I probably would have.
Now if you will excuse me, time for a cold shower.
BigLittleWolf says
You buy women lingerie? (You are a very wise man, Steve.)
Kelly says
Forget the fashion advice — you need to run a series on tapping into and luxuriating in your flirtatious and feminine side. We should all think of showcasing our bodies in beautiful lingerie as de rigueur rather than daring.
BigLittleWolf says
Absolutely, Kelly! De rigueur.
Jana @ Attitude Adjustment says
I have recently started to treat myself to nicer undergarments, and it feels good!
BigLittleWolf says
Alright!
Liz says
I love this. I, too, own many treasures and feel incredibly powerful and sexy and feminine in them. I hate when my friends say “Why do you bother with the stuff? He’s just gonna take it off.” I have three large hat boxes filled with it…and one was bought in Paris!
BigLittleWolf says
How delicious, Liz! Treasures they are, indeed.
Natalie says
I should have known you’d have the key to my tarty heart here.
BigLittleWolf says
I heart your tarty-heart.
Suzicate says
I used to love lingerie and once upon a time it loved me…about 20 lbs. less ago!
TheKitchenWitch says
Oh God, reading this made me feel ashamed of the old, unused, probably moth-eaten undergarments in a certain drawer in my bedroom…
BigLittleWolf says
Yup. I’m definitely feeling the need to organize a Weary Mothers Lingerie Tour of Paris. Are you in, TKW?
notasoccermom says
I love the way lingerie feels and makes me feel. I feel so sexy in it.
I have tried to wear it to work under my clothes and it always feels bulky. Except a slip or bra pantie set.
This is a very well written and sexy post
Eva @ Eva Evolving says
You know what I love about you, Wolfie? The Five-for-Ten topic of lust made me nervous all week, and when I finally posted this morning it is a different spin on lust. Not in the bedroom. I shied away from the adult version of lust. But you tackle it head on! Love it!!
alita says
My problem is that I’m small around but big on top. And when I say big I mean like 34-F, therefore without spending a fortune, I can only find granny sized over the shoulder boulder holders. Same goes for my icky one pieced bathing suits. Just not fair! So as much as I wish I could find an affordable corset (sigh) I guess until then I’ll just have to lust for it.
Great post though! You hit lust on the nail chica.
dadshouse says
Corsets are hot – and I’ve never actually seen one on a woman in real life. Gotta fix that
BigLittleWolf says
Corset from Dorset, remember DM? Surely there are a few in Silicon Valley somewhere!
Cheryl says
My girlfriend and I were pawing through the racks at TJ Maxx, trying to find strapless bras. There weren’t any in either of our sizes. But my girlfriend said there were still a lot of cute regular bras, including one with rhinestones on the front part of the straps. And I’m all, but no one would SEE that, what’s the point? And she asked, don’t you like wearing cute bras? Doesn’t it make you feel good?
Truthfully? My answer was no. I want it to fit and to not show lines or headlights through it. That’s about it.
I apparently suck the life right out of sexy. It’s good to know how the other half lives, though!
BigLittleWolf says
Cheryl, so nice to have you here. “Sexy” isn’t the same for everyone. I’ve met men for whom sexy is the cleanest, freshest, unadorned face and blue jeans. Others, for whom the pleasure of a few adornments is enjoyed. And my belief is that we feel sexy when we please ourselves in our demeanor and style – whatever that happens to be. No rules. Whatever works for each of us.
melissa says
I love that you say femininity is more attitude than style… so true! And I think this collection of photos illustrates the point that there’s no one right way to experience one’s femininity. Really lovely.
Linda at BarMitzvahzilla says
Oh my, BLW. This is a lusty little post you’ve written!
I put on these towering trampy heels and I honestly can’t walk from my closet to the bedroom. I put on a thong and spend my yime yanking at it because it’s so uncomfortable. Sexy lingerie to me? A long black nightgown with underwires and padding for the flattened out chest.
BigLittleWolf says
You always me laugh, Linda.
The lingerie I have is comfortable. It’s beautiful, sexy, and comfortable. How else could I wear it and love it for me? How else could anyone stay “in the mood” or even feel in the mood if you have things itching, scratching, slipping, pulling or digging into you? It is absolutely possible to find properly fitting (all sizes) and hot-hot-hot, well made, lovely lingerie. But it is much harder in this culture, where we wear shame for our sensuality and sexuality more easily than we wear beauty in its diversity.
Justine says
Oh. my. loins. This is the perfect prelude to our night – thank you!
Sadly, I don’t own anything quite as sexy and daring as shown here, although sometimes I wish I did.
But as you say, femininity and its allure is unique to each of us. To me, Maya Angelou captured perfectly:
“It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.”
And oh yes, I find women extremely appealing and have admired and even been turned on by them. We are gorgeous beings after all 🙂
BigLittleWolf says
Ah yes! That’s a delicious sliver of pulchritudinous poetry from Maya Angelou! Thank you for that one. (Enjoy your evening, Justine!)
Gandalfe says
What is is about lingerie that is so exciting to both sexes? Dunno, but I’m glad it still raised my blood pressure. And the post about wearing red underwear on New Years is the all-time highest read post on my blog. Who knew? ;O)
BigLittleWolf says
Thank goodness some of us appreciate the inherent value of lingerie! (Loved your red underwear post, Gandalfe! Funny that it’s the most read post – and yet – it goes to show that sex sells! Or maybe, it’s lingerie that sells the sex! I think my most read post is Wimbledon wardrobe mishaps, and there may have been some red undies in that one as well. Go … figure… 😉 )
Pauline says
I’ve never actually worn a corset but you make me want to get one! I especially like the black velvet one you featured…hmmm…
Married for Now says
I’ve been reading through some of your old blog posts and this one is absolutely delicious. Today I followed the advice of a French friend of mine and bought two actual sets of lingerie . . . one in black and one in beige . . . both lace . . . spending more than I ever have before and buying matching bras and panties, like the French, with two pairs of panties to match each bra. So reading this was especially fun after that rather daring act. Financially, I mean. But I sure felt pretty doing it, and I plan to wear them as everyday wear . . . just for me.
BigLittleWolf says
I’m so glad you’ve been reading and enjoying. And good for you on that “daring act.” To me, these are small pleasures with significant benefits relative to how we feel about ourselves.
“Just for you.” Exactly. It’s so easy to forget that something as simple as well-made and pretty lingerie can be just what the doctor ordered.