Date night
I’m going out tonight.
There. I said it. I’m going out.
I know, I know. Hardly the stuff of News at 11. Except when you’re no longer able to stand by 11. Then it’s news. BIG news. Because how am I ever going to pull this off?
I admit that these days I don’t go out much, socially, that is. My life keeps me fairly home-centered: parenting, grocery shopping, cooking, teen schlepping, driving lessons, entertaining Latvians, and I’m writing writing writing.
I’m writing as fast as I can. Believe me, my days and evenings are full.
But tonight, I’m going out for dinner. On Date Night.
Frankly, I’m tempted to cancel. Now don’t get your knickers in a twist. Or your bustier. I won’t. I’ve been chanting, coaxing, cajoling (in my head) since last night until I’m sick of my own voice: Just do it, just go, it will be fine.
It’s not that big a deal, right?
Anxiety
Except it is a big deal. For me.
Because I’m out of practice at this man-woman socializing thing.
Because I’m not on my game.
Because I prefer coffee and a quick escape the first time I meet someone.
Because my body hurts, yet one more reason for very abbreviated periods “out in the world.”
I also prefer daytime, when I’m less tired. By evening all I want is to get horizontal and bask in listlessness. I don’t want to go out. I don’t want to converse. (Care to start your days at 3 or 4 a.m., and see how perky you feel as night rolls in?)
More reasons to be anxious?
The drive. It’s longer than I hoped to get to the restaurant (ouch), and to a part of town where I get lost even by day. (Hello, Sense of Direction? Why art thou NOT in my skill set??)
So I’m arguing in my head. And shaking my head. Why did I ever say yes?
Maybe I said yes because I haven’t had a face-to-face exchange with an adult male since… ah yes… the evening that Breast-fed Boomer Boy tried to pick me up. Maybe I said yes because the gentleman in question told me it was his birthday, which made me feel like I couldn’t say no. Maybe I said yes because he made me laugh, and that felt good.
Maybe because part of me refuses to allow pain and fatigue to own me. Even when it does.
The feminine vehicle
A great woman is like a good car. (Yes, I did just say that.) First, you need to hope she isn’t a lemon. Seriously. It happens. And the same goes for guys. But beyond that, it’s a dash of luck, and otherwise, it’s all about maintenance.
Luck?
Yes. Good luck. That no one runs a stop sign and totals you. That a tire doesn’t blow on the highway. That you don’t get sick when you can’t afford the time or bucks to see a doctor.
As for maintenance, I don’t mean “high maintenance” or “low maintenance.” I mean proper fluids, high-quality fuel, periodic tune-ups, not flooring the accelerator pointlessly when she stalls. And of course, taking the feminine vehicle out for a spin on a regular basis. Even if she’s got a few miles on her. Verrrrrry important if you want those spark plugs firing and her, purring like a kitten when the key slides into the ignition.
Then there’s exterior maintenance. You know. Less time baking in the sun. A little more waxing. Frequent, delicate paint jobs. (Can you say “touch up my goddamn gray, please??”)
No. Nip-tuck à la Heidi Montag isn’t necessary, nor make-up Orange County Housewives style. But a little extra time to primp. The hair. The nails. Selection of the perfect anti-gravity underthings. (Elegant, of course.)
Cherry Crush
For some of us, there’s one more item. Drum roll please.
The right nail polish on the toes! Something vibrant. Sexy. To take the chill out of a long, cold winter when we sense our “hotness factor” is on the fritz. And the color? What could be better with sensual lingerie?
You got it. The perfect enamel to brighten a mood. Cherry Crush.
I know the drill: I’ll spend hours trying four or five variations of skirts, blouses, camisoles, sweaters, jackets, foulards – maybe a few strands of pearls (very Chanel). Most likely, I’ll end up in my most classic black outfit and a touch of something bright at the neck. Yes, the one the Boomer Boy enjoyed. And underneath, something pretty (and French) from the lingerie drawer.
And that’s for me. Lingerie is my way of making it through the evening whether things are pleasant or uncomfortable, socially or physically. Just like the perfectly pedicured feet are for me in Cherry Crush. I’ll feel feminine and fine. And even when I’m not at my best, feeling feminine and fine still matters – very much.
Steve says
I am SO happy you are going out!!! Stop making excuses and just have fun. You need this! I will anxiously await tomorrow’s blog post to find out how it went.
Yea for team Big Little Wolf!!!!!
Kristen @ Motherese says
Fabulous. I hope you have a wonderful time.
May your company be amusing and may you not be snoozing!
saint nobody says
hey, what’s wrong with being a lem(m)on?
🙂
hope you have a good night. be good to yourself!
SimplyForties says
Oh my goodness – have the very best time! I have a friend who always says that it is the events we least want to attend that end up being the most fun. She’s usually right too! So fluff up and drag on out and enjoy it! “Hotness factor is on the fritz” – I love that!
Abby Carter says
C’mon admit it, its just a little bit exciting. Day dreaming, primping, glossing, feeling sexy. Relax, smile and have fun. Fun is good. Fun is allowed.
Nicki says
Yeah! I passed on a party tonight as I am exhausted from the event I ran today but I cannot wait to hear how your night goes. I will be in bed by 8 I am sure so you can have my energy.
Just going to take your lead and paint the toe nails before my afternoon tomorrow – no need letting perfect strangers see my “runner’s toes.”
Have a great time, BLW!!!!!
Eva says
I’m proud of you, BLW! Even if the date is a terrible flop, it’s so important to get outside your comfort zone. As you said, you’re not letting your pain and fatigue take over your life. And any excuse to paint your toenails in winter is a good one!
Lauren says
I can SO identify. Okay, so I’m not in the dating market, but I also prefer daytime. And I, too, would rather spend my evenings in a horizontal position, basking in listlessness. Preferably while working my way through my backed up DVR. 🙂 Glad to have found your blog! Have so much fun, and please post details tomorrow!!!!
Jen says
I love that you have lingerie and Cherry Crush just for you. The night is FOR YOU. I do hope you are enjoying it. (And I do know exactly what you mean about the time/fatigue dilemma of it all. My darling baby E has decided 4 a.m. is her time to get up. But, I digress…) Have FUN!
Linda at Bar Mitzvahzilla says
Okay, you did say you want to get horizontal, right? (ha ha) Just putting the pieces together here – sexy lingerie and red toe nails. You haven’t been out for awhile, remember. Don’t shock the Latvian, no matter what!
Anyway, just joking. We will wait with bated breath for news on whether you remembered how to date and make conversation with an eligible human being.
Amber says
I am nervous with you. I know that you will find the perfect shoes and make great conversation.
Your lingerie choice has me thinking about what we wear underneath our clothes. We often choose things that flatter us. There is something so appealing about hiding our lingerie and secretly thinking about it while talking to a sexy man.
I hope you find that sexy woman!!
Amber says
(That probably didn’t make any sense, so let me explain.) When we are going somewhere uncomfortable, it is natural to put on something that will put us at ease, which often happens to be our choice of underwear.
And as for finding that sexy woman? I meant, let that woman shine through tonight!