Have you found yourself second-guessing your style since hitting 40-something or maybe 50-something? In need of tips from a pro? Wondering what’s “appropriate” or getting a raised eyebrow and remarks — possibly from your 20-something children?
Personally, I’ve questioned my haircut and my makeup, I’ve questioned my necklines and my hemlines, I’ve questioned what shapes suit me best as my shape seems to shift here and there. So who better to ask for style advice for the over 40s than a woman whom I consider a friend, and guru for all things chic?
I am delighted to have a guest on this topic. Tish Jett, longtime fashion and style journalist who writes daily at A Femme d’un Certain Age, graciously agreed to weigh in on fashion and style basics that are applicable to so many of us. These are especially helpful tips for “women of a certain age” who may be finding their way back into the workplace, looking to start a new venture, or dipping a toe into the dating scene after a long absence.
On that note — please enjoy!
Style Tips for Women Over 40
At times, getting up, getting dressed and getting out there can feel like a daunting exercise.
Many of us have a litany of negative self-criticism that plays in our minds, which can leave us feeling less than lovely. I’m not sure this has anything to do with age, but I do think that women of a certain age can be very hard on themselves.
But here’s the thing: When you look good, you feel good and by extension, positive experiences tend to follow. Style is personality. It is an unspoken message that speaks volumes.
Since my mission here is to recount six timeless style and beauty tips, which is one of my favorite pastimes as some of you know, I’m happy to join in Daily Plate of Crazy’s Monday Midlife Makeover series.
First, a word about budget. Let’s assume you want to get back into the workforce, change jobs or you’ve decided you want to polish your image just for you. Remember, style is available at many price points, but cheap is always cheap and reflects badly upon us.
Always keep quality in mind and always be on the lookout for markdowns. It’s better to have just a few classic and well-made items in your wardrobe than to rush or overspend in order to present an updated “you.”
So here we go.
1. Style Basics: Grooming
Before we even begin to talk about clothes and accessories, let’s get the most important detail out of the way: impeccable grooming. After a certain age it is essential to look polished. That does not exclude a certain nonchalance, but it definitely rules out sloppy and careless.
That means a flattering, no-fuss hairstyle and color. As for cut and color that best suits you, I imagine that subject will be coming up later in this Monday Makeover series including whether or not to let your hair go gray. Whatever the style and color, I’m certain you will agree that a bad hair day (or worse, months), no matter how we’re dressed, leaves us feeling anything but our best.
If we don’t feel our best, we won’t project our best.
Grooming is always all about the details: immaculate, short, manicured nails for example. If you’re job hunting, go with a pale, neutral polish. If you’re doing a DIY makeover for fun, then whatever color strikes your fancy.
Don’t forget a pedicure. It’s summer, after all.
2. Style Basics: Makeup
Perhaps you’re still wearing the same makeup in the same way as you did 10 years ago or longer. You know you want a change, but you don’t quite know where to begin.
If you feel your makeup technique needs a little work, visit your local department store and head to your favorite brand. And if you aren’t already loyal to a brand, you have many to choose from -– Dior, Lancôme, Bobbi Brown -– just to name a few. Pick a counter and ask for a makeup lesson. Don’t be shy. Then request samples of what you like.
The French women I know try before they buy. It is absolutely de rigueur, and it makes perfect sense.
Do have fun with this. You may want a day look and a night look. And do be sure to remember the necessities like SPF.
3. Wardrobe Basics: The Jacket
Every woman needs a couple of great jackets. If you are uncertain about lengths and structure or you want to try something new, remember a full-length mirror is your best friend. Actually, you could consider making a store’s personal shopper your best friend. (More on that in a minute.) No matter how many times you’ve heard this advice, it is the golden rule: Spend as much as you can on jackets. They are wardrobe workhorses.
Because every wardrobe must be multifunctional, one or more of your jackets should have matching bottoms. That could mean pants or a skirt or both. That’s not matchy-matchy, it’s intelligent and it does not preclude wearing your jackets with your jeans.
4. Wardrobe Basics: Tees, Please
I love well fitting t-shirts in light cotton with some Lycra. The reason I like them is for their versatility. The classic crew neck provides a clean “canvas” for scarves and necklaces. Every woman should have a collection of her favorite brand in the basic colors on which her wardrobe is built. I also recommend a collection of pristine whites in a variety of cuts.
Now, some of you may prefer your tees with a V neck or scoop neck. The principle is the same, though not every necklace will be as suitable.
A note on color: Let’s say your wardrobe is built on a navy foundation. Be sure to have some navy t-shirts as well. The unbroken vertical line looks polished.
5. Accessories: Shoes
You really don’t need a closet full, though I’m aware that many of us have exactly that. You do need good shoes. Cheap shoes look cheap. Cheap shoes also won’t last. Cheap shoes are not a good investment!
Besides, dressing your feet is where fashion meets comfort. That probably means heels – and only you know what height and style you can tolerate – a kitten heel, a chunky heel, a stacked heel, even a stiletto. You may find yourself at ease in 2” or just as comfortable in 3 ½”.
As for flats, they are basically a question of taste. Like most French women, I love ballerina flats. (Think Audrey Hepburn. You really cannot get more chic.)
6. Accessories: The Investment Handbag
Since we’re talking about accessories, one more “rule” applies: a good bag. Again, no one needs scores of them, nor is it necessary to play it safe with black. And like shoes, bags are another investment item though I find myself wondering how it is that so many “good bags” might otherwise pay for an exotic vacation.
Remember: Do be reasonable whatever that means for you, do shop sales (or as the French say, les soldes d’été or les soldes d’hiver), do have some fun. Dare to purchase one beautiful bag in a great go-with-everything color like French blue, mauve or even yellow. If you keep it classic and versatile — a good shoulder bag or cross-body, a satchel or tailored tote that you can dress up or down — you will be surprised at everything you can wear it with.
A good bag takes you anywhere, through all of the seasons.
Practical Notes
Know your budget. Watch for sales. There are deep discounts to be had both online as well as in your favorite stores. This is the perfect time for you in the States. 4th of July sales are on already! If you’re buying online, best to purchase what you know will fit and always, always check that you are dealing with a reputable seller, that your transactions are secure, and that you are comfortable with their shipping and return policies.
Another suggestion: Recall my mention of the personal shopper at your favorite department store. He or she will be happy to give you a call when sales are approaching. Those tempting tops that fit perfectly but were pricey? When the sales hit, you just may be able to pick up several in different colors.
If there are necklines, hemlines and colors you are always drawn to — some of us wear certain shapes and looks like a daily uniform — don’t feel a need to give them up, but do try something different, do use black as a canvas but then layer on some color as in this example of a Marc Jacobs splashed flower scarf. And do consider taking a picture or two so you may look over the images later, privately.
Parting Thoughts
Every woman should feel free to try on a new “self” from time to time, which is after all what this series is about. She should enjoy what she wears, with the goal of feeling confident.
When you try something new, you may not feel like yourself initially. All the more reason to take your time, take along a friend, take the word of a professional and take a few selfies to consider later.
Above all else, remember that you don’t have to be young to express yourself through fashion or to have impeccable style. True style, as I have seen in France time and time again, is ageless.
© Tish Jett
Tish Jett is a longtime fashion and lifestyle journalist who has worked for Women’s Wear Daily, W, the Detroit Free Press, the New York Daily News, and the International Herald Tribune in Paris, where she eventually became the last editor of American Elle. She has also been a correspondent for or written freelance for the Chicago Tribune, Town & Country, Elle, Architectural Digest, More, The New York Times and other publications. She is the author of “Forever Chic: Frenchwomen’s Secrets for Timeless Beauty, Style and Substance” (Rizzoli, 2013) and author of the popular blog “A Femme d’Un Certain Age” where she writes daily about life and style from her home in France.
Image credits: tees, Bloomingdales; makeup, Bloomingdales. Click images to access these products. Handbags, Bloomingdales (left to right): MARC BY MARC JACOBS Crossbody – Ligero Double Percy, Lauren Ralph Lauren Tote – Crawley Unlined, COACH Prince Street Satchel in Crossgrain Leather. Click here for Marc Jacobs paint splashed flower scarf. Delvaux window (Brussels), photo D. A. Wolf. Other images, BigStockPhoto. Thanks to Bloomingdales for their courtesy. No remuneration was received for use of their merchandise as illustration.
Enjoy more in the Makeover Series here or visit the next in the series: Midlife Makeover: Getting Past the Weight Loss Plateau.
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Oh dear. These tips seem a bit generic to me… I’ve always known all this, but how does one adjust their style as their body/hair/skin tone, etc changes after a certain age?
Some thoughts:
So you visit a makeup counter, but do the young women who work there know what to do with older faces? And are some brand sales clerks better than others?
Does your makeup change as your hair changes colour (something a redhead especially has a problem with!)?
Is there a way to apply your eye makeup when your eye lids have morphed into layers of floppy skin? I’ve given up on mascara and eyeliner and generally use a pale brown shadow where I used to have a brow bone. Thank gawd for glasses!
How do you make blush look natural when your cheeks are no longer smooth?
Can you get tips without being pushed into buying over-priced and ineffective “anti-aging” formulas?
How about your hair style to suit your changing face and hair texture (grey fuzzy sideburns anyone?)? Is short hair always better? If colouring your hair, what colour? If not, how do you live through the transition while still looking good?
What skirt or trousers do you buy when your pear shape becomes more like an apple? I honestly have stopped shopping except to replenish baggy sweaters and jeans and black dress pants. I have no clue how to dress anymore.
(And thanks, Bloomingdales, but you’re not exactly convincing me that I am part of your target audience with photos of skinny young things! lol)
Don’t mean to rant, but I feel as if I woke up one morning inhabiting a different body and I fear Tish inhabits a stylish French lady bubble and doesn’t really know about the clueless like me!
Hi Canucky woman. I do think it’s important to get the essentials right. The foundation, if you will. And you’d be surprised how many women “of a certain age” have let these essentials go. I count myself in that group, partly because I work from home, but also because I’ve let myself go. (That was my motivation for starting this series. And I have a closet full of clothes that don’t fit or don’t suit, and I’m having to rethink everything – affordably.)
You do ask wonderful questions, and I will put them on my list for one of the makeup artists (I’ve used for wise counsel and plan to visit again). I’m terribly picky about makeup on my face. I love it, but can’t stand wearing a lot! And indeed, as the skin changes, what worked once no longer seems quite right. Your specific questions are very helpful for when I sit down with him.
As for the Bloomies pics, you have me to blame for that! It still surprises me how difficult it is to find images of “normal” women who are not skinny, whether in stock photos (which I purchase) or on retail sites. Bloomie’s has been kind enough to allow me to use images, and of course, most ads use thin models. However, these looks are quite wearable by most of us if we’re following Tish’s basic wardrobe tips.
Incidentally, I had drinks with Tish in March and she is indeed very chic, but… and I hope she doesn’t mind my saying this… she is funny, warm, down-to-earth and not a “skinny” woman but rather, has a “regular” woman’s body. So she does indeed know what most of us go through.
Re your questions about shapes, sweaters, trousers and so on — I hope Tish will stop back and offer comments! By the way, in my recent need to meet with some clients face-to-face, and with nothing to wear that fit (really!), I found a store with great sales and relied on the sales person to bring me items to try. I was somewhere between misery and delight, misery with the things I disliked (that once would’ve been great on me, but no longer), and delight when a few items I wouldn’t have expected felt just right. AND on sale.
Please DO keep asking those questions – and let me know what else I can look into. The makeup issue, in detail, is on the agenda.
And DO visit Tish’s blog and browse. She goes into a great deal of detail on her own site, daily, and is a wonderful resource for all things beauty, fashion & style — impeccably researched — and very much oriented toward real women.
Thanks so much for reading!
Hey Laura. For sure, we redheads have even more challenges in aging gracefully with all of the various color changes that affront us – rosecea anyone? – especially as our hair has been our defining aspect since we were born! So far I haven’t dyed my hair (save for one rather bright henna experience by a very good salon in Paris) because a good friend of mine that is a well-respected hairstylist for French magazines said, “best to leave it alone if you want it to look natural.”
That said, I can add a few things. There are certain cosmetic lines that are really good for our odd skin: Bobbi Brown being at the top of the list (for me). And yes, you can go in for a visit and flat out say, “Look, I don’t have much to spend at all, I am looking for a few basics” and that should be respected. But mascara? Don’t give it up! Just go for a dark brown instead of black. As for blush – try a cream or mix a powder into a bit of moisturizer.
As for clothes, I have gained lately and so now am in the same field as you, aka apple versus long-time pear. As I wrote below, if you can find someone whose taste you trust in a local department store it will save you bucks as they can let you know when things you like are on sale…
Fellow redheads…unite!
PS. I am lucky enough to call Tish a friend and in no way is she in any bubble. She is just one good egg.
🙂
I haven’t worn mascara in years; no matter what kind I try, I look as if I had gone a few rounds with Mike Tyson. :/ It’s always under my eyes after a few hours. 30 years ago Maybelline had brown gel mascara and I just loved it. But it was discontinued. Boo.
Not sure what to do with my hair. I’m going grey, but underneath along my hairline only (if I were a man, I’d look damned distinguished! Not quite the same for a woman!). And it’s just fading…You get it, Heather — our hair has always been such a large part of our personality! For 40 years I lived in the same small city and everyone knew me as “the redhead”. It wasn’t until I moved to Holland that somebody said I had “brown” hair — what? I guess it faded so gradually nobody noticed back home, but the people I met here had no clue about my history or anything. It was a tad depressing! And colouring it is a pain because red tints always fade first…
I’ve never tried Bobbi Brown; I’ll see if they carry it here in Holland, thanks! Although that being said, I’ve never met a makeup counter girl who knew what to do with my pale freckly face even when it was young and unsaggy!
You know I would look again at Maybelline – it is what I use and I know they have brought back a lot of their gel-based mascaras. I use a soft black because I like the look. If you want to splurge, you could try Diorshow Waterproof Mascara in Brown – there is a reason why it is everyone’s favorite. But seriously, mascara changes everything!
If you can’t find Bobbi Brown, then I would suggest Nars or Mac (both are lines that are high in pigment and long-lasting but not hard on our delicate skin) – and if you can afford it (I can’t), anything from the Giorgio Armani line. So far, I have found the best luck in finding – ahem – mature make-up artists in the more upscale department stores – don’t know if that would be the same for you in Holland.
I feel your pain about the fading! Mine has too but as it was a true carrot-top flame I still idntify as a red-head. 😉 Although the white is coming in so much now that it is more like a strawberry blonde mix! Oh my…
I too am a lifelong redhead (auburn except in summer, when the sun turns my hair strawberry blonde/grey) with a redhead’s skin. Rosacea…yup, for about 15 years! A bit of MetroGel once daily keeps it under control as long as I put nothing on my skin but that which is very gentle…and never go near any product that is labelled “anti-aging.” I have no makeup advice because I almost never wear any–I did my time with makeup when I worked as cabin crew. The same with high-heeled shoes.
Timeless tips, indeed, but the photos don’t appear to be ladies of a certain age. I’m more aware of comfortable shoes than ever before and now prioritize them as part of my wardrobe. I’ve learned that my figure doesn’t do well with Boho style, even though I love the romantic look on others. Makeup and hair are my challenges these days. So challenging.
I’m with you on the makeup and hair challenges, Missy.
And it’s nearly impossible to find images of women who are not young and not reed thin — unless you disrespect copyright, which I’m not willing to do. In other words, stock images (which I purchase) have relatively few options. (I use them when I can; there are virtually none for fashion that I can afford.) And retail… well… The prevailing mode remains the stick-skinny model, unless you’re talking about plus size items in which case most often they use “normal” size models!
Hello? Advertising world? Yes, we love our aspirational images, but aspirational 40-somethings, 50-somethings, 60-somethings in size 14 would be welcome!
There’s a market need, no? Shall we team up, Missy? And ask Laura (Canucky Woman) to join us?
🙂
I’m in! 😀
🙂 🙂
Me, too – I would even model!
I agree with everything Tish has said today. The main thing about reclaiming yourself is to be current. Current & polished. There is nothing nicer than seeing someone who is polished & sleek. As I’m in the fashion business, I see it everyday. Mom’s going back to work. Or an older woman who has a new life.
As Tish says, stick to the basics first. Black & White. I cannot imagine a woman working with a pair of high high high stilletos. Tone the look down, create an energetic vibe. Most importantly, get your hair styled by a professional who can show you the latest looks and tools to keep the look. Mani/Pedi, of course.
We see people who inquire about positions all the time who look like they looked when they were in college – 20+ years ago. Doesn’t work at all. Pay attention to details. When you do just these few little things you can walk with pride and confidence.
One more thing: throw away all those old clothes & accessories you’ve been hanging onto. Begin fresh. Buy some classy looking pearl ropes, and layer them. As you go along you add more looks. And, soon you will be confident in yourself and then you will speak with confidence.
On another note completely, become aware of current affairs. There is nothing more boring than a person who cannot chime in on the latest happenings. Good job, Wolfie & Tish !!!
All great points, Marsha. And that last, which is ultimately about who we are and using our heads? Yes!
Hmm. Come to think of it, Marsha… I followed Tish’s jackets, simple tee and vertical line advice very recently for a meeting with a client. Black tee underneath a loose-fitting black linen jacket with a pair of tailored light-weight trousers in a small black and white print. I had a second variation I was considering — same black tee, tailored black trousers, and the same jacket in cobalt blue linen. (I picked up both jackets at 75% off!). What you may not have realized (and nor did my client), there were 4″ heels that didn’t show below the pant cuffs.
When you’re Lilliputian, you get very skilled at walking in heels! And a little (hidden) height works wonders!
😉
Ouch. Haven’t been able to wear heels in years, sadly. It’s Ecco and Skechers for my poor feet. 🙁
I’ve always been very much into the classics and prefer simple, tailored lines. Being short, it’s only sensible. But there are real cultural differences in women’s clothing from country to country…Here in Holland, women are on average taller and slimmer and the stores reflect that: wild patterns, layers, gathers, fringes, frills, few petite options — gah! Shopping is a nightmare! Can’t wait to move home to Canada where clothes are simpler and bigger sizes don’t just mean longer arms and legs! Only six months to go… 😉
Oh Laura – I can relate to the cultural differences in body type, styles and so on. I lived in France at various times, and as a small (I’m not quite 5′) dark woman, I blended in well enough, though I was usually a bit “heftier” than the other women, even when I was at my lower weights.
Some years later, I married into a Northern European family – most were tall and fair and naturally thin; you’re quite right – not so many options and boy was I duck out of water! All those larger patterns and details would’ve swallowed me whole. So I get it! (That was before the ability to shop online of course, which in some ways makes things soooo much easier when you know what works for you and you snap it up when you can.)
I wonder what it says about me that I keep my fingernails, neat and trim and bare? I cannot afford weekly manicures, nor do I have the time to do them myself. I detest messy looking, chipped color and so I opt for au naturelle. My toes? Those I tend to do myself and then hide in closed shoes when they get sloppy. I can keep the polish on them looking fresh for much longer.
I keep mine bare too, but I have very square, mannish nailbeds with nails that grow out like fans. Best for me to keep them clean and trimmed and ring-free and divert attention elsewhere! The lipstick…a cool necklace, whatever!
Tish, you are always amazing. I kept nodding my head “Yes, yes and yes” to every single point that you mentioned so pitch perfectly. And I needed to hear it too as I have been letting myself go lately. One of the many things that I always appreciate about your writing is that not only does it come from the heart but there is always something for those of us that are even the most financially challenged to take away. And of course, I know that you are an expert of what you are writing, plus, I just plain trust you. As I do D. A. And so do my Mom’s lucky clients – she works in an upscale department store and has many loyal buyers (and truly that is great advice to find someone you believe in who knows you and will work with you – that isn’t about the commission at all).
After having lived in France for nearly 14 years, I can say that I see a lot of these tips on the French women around town of all ages. But certainly for points 5 and 6 – you can’t know the benefit until you have really done it. I bought my favorite bag as a gift to myself for the beginning of the year 2000 – it is a Gucci but you would only know it by the subtle horse-bit clasps on the side – that bag is still going super strong 15 years later. The same can be said for many, nearly all (but the most pointy 😉 of my Prada shoes bought in the day when I could.
I would just also add that good buys can be had in surprising places. A very good friend went back to work in her 60s and in the beginning found amazing pieces at her local Salvation Army… everyone would ask where she had bought these things and she would just smile…
Thank you both so much,
Heather
PS. As the companion to a photographer who has lost an enormous part of his income due to clients using royalty-free or free images, I am so appreciative of D. A.’s commitment to being correct… please understand that, as she says, she pays for what she uses and it isn’t cheap, so if it isn’t perfect, then know that it would be if it wasn’t so challenging to manage in today’s convoluted photo market.
Here’s the problem about writing on the subject of style, what-to-wear, makeup, hair, skin care, etc. By definition it is somewhat abstract because the actual woman who is reading what we write has different needs, budgets, lifestyles, body shapes, hair colors, hair textures and on and on. . .
I think the best advice I could offer a woman, not knowing all of the above, would be to take a trusted friend whom she considers stylish with her on a shopping excursion. You don’t have to buy anything, but take notes about what is flattering, what works with what you own, what will make you extremely happy and then go home, think about what you saw and tried and look in your closet. You can always go back later to buy if you wish, and you can even take the gamble of waiting for markdowns.
Every woman probably instinctively knows the colors that flatter her. That’s a jumping off point.
As for our hair, go to Google and type in “best hairstyles for women over 40, 50, 60” and see what you think. Then, watch other women. Find one who has the same type of hair you do with a style you like. Ask her where she goes for her cuts. I found the perfect hair color by asking a woman who is in my advanced English class where she went for her balayage, now I go there too.
I don’t know the rules for working with an in-house personal shopper at a U.S. department store, but I’m sure D.A. does. This is yet another option. Most are extremely helpful and understanding about all of the phobias we women have about ourselves.
As for makeup, I’m sure the people working for the big brands know the importance of our demographic and would not want to “paint” our faces to make us look ridiculous. At some point we need to put our trust in professionals. If we don’t like the results, what have we lost? Fifteen minutes?
I do my own manicures. I have taught myself how to type with wet nails. It wasn’t much of a learning curve. Also, well-groomed bare nails are always elegant.
There, I think I’ve covered everything. Thank you dear D.A. for allowing me to invade your space. I’m very flattered. (xo)
Sitting here in airport in a Lycra white top with loud Pants and a kimono!
Tish hit all the important topics nails, shoes, jackets all good. I find inspiration from magazines and other Bloggers or Instagrammers who always spice it up a bit with color!
Because…don’t we all wear a kimono to the airport? I love you Elizabeth!!!
I wear kimonos (long, midlength, and short) in the place of jackets, particularly in summer. They are so much more interesting, as well as comfortable (as long as you skip the obi). So yes, I wear a kimono to the airport as well as when I am presiding at hearings.