Ever wondered about weird house rules – especially when you’re a kid? Did you scratch your head over how your parents, or friends’ parents, ever came up with this stuff or thought it would really make a difference to who we become?
Here are nine weird house rules that somehow made sense to my (much older) parents.
I’m curious what you think, how your weird house rules match up, and if you think they impacted your life.
Parents and Kids Can’t Make This Stuff Up!
Do you think you’re a strict parent? Were your parents tough on you? Most likely, many rules your parents imposed on you during childhood were not passed on to your own children.
Or were they?
If my parents were still alive, they would be in their early eighties. They also were both raised in small, conservative Midwestern towns in the 1930s and 40s. Being raised by older parents, I always felt like my life was a bit different at home, compared to my friends with younger, more progressive parents.
There were many things my mom prohibited that my friends’ parents never seemed to mind. Can you spell RANDOM?
Random (Weird) House Rules
Here goes!
- Never close your bedroom door. If we were changing clothes, we were allowed to close the bedroom door, but only for a few minutes. I think Mom must have had an alarm wired to the door because if it was EVER closed for more than 15 minutes, she would barge in and “check in on me.” If the door was LOCKED – angry screaming ensued.
- No “Three’s Company.” This show was banned in our house. I’m not even going to try to explain why but I think it had to do with the “premarital co-ed co-habitation” issue. Or, maybe Mom just felt that three’s a crowd, not company. Solution? Watch the show at a friend’s house. The same applied for R-rated movies.
- No blue jeans. Mom grew up in an era when women wore hats, gloves, and dresses for a trip to the zoo, the grocery store, or anywhere. Therefore, blue jeans were NOT allowed at all during childhood! I once had a birthday party at a horseback riding ranch when I was 12, and was forced to wear purple slacks. I was mortified. In high school, jeans were permitted but still frowned upon. My sister recalls that we were allowed to wear jeans once per week.
- NEVER say “that sucks.” Once, as a kid, I made the mistake of saying “that sucks!” in front of my mom. Horrified, she gasped, “do you KNOW what that MEANS when you say something “sucks?” I wasn’t sure. Sucks eggs? Sucks what? She informed me what it meant and I never used the term again until I heard someone say that something “sucks dead birds.” I use that expression to this day.
- No skipping Mass – for ANY reason. It didn’t matter if we were sick, or on a beach vacation, or had just attended church with a friend. We were not allowed to skip Mass with the family on any weekend, for any reason. Mom always knew where the closest Catholic church was located, no matter where we vacationed.
- Being sick or in a bad mood was prohibited. Speaking of being sick, we weren’t allowed to get sick. Sometimes, of course, illness would just HAPPEN, beyond our control. It was inconvenient at best and traumatic at worst. We were either vomiting, feverish, and on our way to see a doctor, or we were 100% fine. Pain or fatigue meant we should “get up and move around.”
- No TV in the bedroom. I remember once I was sick (of course it had been proven that I was REALLY sick with a doctor’s diagnosis to prove it). Mom didn’t want me out of my room for fear I’d spread my germs. I begged her to roll the extra television into my room just for the day. That was not to be…
- Never call a Boy on the phone. We were not to phone a boy under any circumstances. The boy would call me if he wanted to talk to me. In fact, Mom would have been just as happy if I never liked boys or wanted to date at all. And she certainly didn’t want me to “go steady” or have a boyfriend. For Mom, I shouldn’t exclusively date before 30. Why “limit myself” with so many other proverbial (teenage) fish in the sea?
- No posters (or anything) on the bedroom wall. Most of my friends had shrines to the teen idols of the day – Rob Lowe, Duran Duran, and Madonna plastered on their bedroom walls. I had one bulletin board where I was finally allowed to pin up some personal items. But otherwise, to see my room, one would never have known a pre-teen or a teenager lived there.
More Words of Wisdom, Sort Of
So, where did all these random rules leave me? Am I a better person because of them? I highly doubt it.
I don’t think I have any deep-seated aversions to, or penchants for, any of the forbidden items on the list.
However, for many years I did have difficulty making decisions. So many things were decided for me, and choices made for me, that it made it more challenging to figure things out later. I was often told how I should feel – happy, healthy – and how I should think, as well as how to behave.
On a positive note, I really appreciate my freedom to make choices now, to live my life the way I choose, and to be able to take control of even the minor details in my life. Even as an adult, many of my mom’s beliefs continued to cloud my views until after she passed away. Although I share many of her perspectives, there are plenty of my own with which she wouldn’t agree. I now know that’s okay.
A few last thoughts?
An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. -Spanish Proverb
No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. -Florida Scott-Maxwell
Any quirky rules your parents have and how did it affect you? Have you passed down any of these rules to your children?
© Andrea Clement Santiago
Andrea Clement Santiago is a career advice columnist, writer, and communications professional. She has contributed to books, journals, websites and has made media appearances on television and radio in her capacity as a healthcare career expert. She writes about her experience as an adult orphan on her blog, No Parents No Problem. Learn more about Andrea here. Follow Andrea on Twitter at @AndreaSantiago, or connect with her on LinkedIn.
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“That sucks!”
Oh, to learn that visual from one’s mother! My daughter would have died on the spot…then, again, I did once say to her, “I pushed you out of my loins and you’re worried about drinking after me germs?”
Guess we all say weird things from time to time, huh?!
Haha yes and I guess my mother accomplished her goal for me NOT to use that phrase! It was definitely not a concept I wanted to discover at that age via my mother! Thanks for reading and commenting… your daughter is lucky if that’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever said to her!
Many of your house rules sound like ours when I was growing up. Mass every Sunday. We used to camp a lot growing up and it didn’t matter what National Park we were in the middle of, or what lake we were boating on – my parents (mother especially) would find the nearest Catholic church and we’d go to Mass. No bedroom doors shut. No “that sucks.” We also weren’t allowed to say “shut up.” I could wear jeans though, and I had posters of James Taylor all over my walls – so there was that.
Barbara… wow it sounds like our parents may have been related… maybe we are distant cousins? 😉 Our parents were definitely on the same page when it came to parenting and family rules!
My mom would deny there were set rules, being a 60s child, but there definitely were. As soon as someone finished eating off a dish, it needed to be in the dishwasher (in its appropriate place) the next time the person got up. That was her main one. And I wonder why things have to be in a certain spot in my dishwasher!
For me it is more and more catching my mother coming out of my mouth. I don’t have kids, so it is the cats that get to hear “Do you value living?” , “Don’t make me get up!”, and “Do you value the use of that paw?”
Tammy- that reminds me, I really didn’t even include all the rules around the dinner table… there were so many, that may require another whole post! We had to eat everything on our plate, and like you, we also had to clear the dishes and put them away just so, and wipe down the table etc… and if it wasn’t all done within the expected time frame that was a big no-no as well!
Andrea – So many rules! (I remember quite a few as well, but not half as many!) Yikes…
Oh my. Those were a lot of rules to abide by! I was fortunate in that my Mom was very young and very liberal. We only had one tough rule: no nightime TV except once a week and afternoon TV was limited to PBS for a very long time. I didn’t mind but then again, those were the days when you just went to play outside for hours and hours…
Heather, you were very lucky! And yes I loved being outside all day with friends until sundown… those were the days! Plus, playing outside was one way to escape the “house rules” for a few hours of freedom!
Great article. I could relate to a few and understand how some teens would be confused or even angry about these random and weird rules. Sometimes these rules can be limiting for young people to explore or be themselves. It can also be very frustrating and cause some sneaking around. I think sooner or later we’ll understand why.