Generally, we think good looks will help us in life. And they do, don’t you think?
We compete for mates, we compete for jobs, we hope for a gathering of friends that appreciates however we look, though we know appearance, body language and more enhance “who we are” and what we bring to the table.
And we certainly don’t anticipate the downside of being beautiful. (Writing that, I’m hearing my own voice as it says “Downside? What downside?”)
An item in the paper reflects this downside, but more importantly, reminds us of the social and gender (power) factors at play in the workplace.
Fired for Being Beautiful?
In “Fired for Being Beautiful,” Michael Kimmel, professor of sociology and gender studies, writes in the The New York Times about an Iowa dentist who fired his assistant at his wife’s urging. Apparently, the assistant’s beauty was such that the wife (and the dentist himself) thought that he would have difficulty keeping his hands off.
While the assistant filed suit claiming sex discrimination, she has now lost – twice. As Professor Kimmel writes:
Ms. Nelson sued on grounds of sex discrimination. Stunningly, an Iowa district court dismissed the case, contending that she was fired “not because of her gender but because she was a threat to the marriage of Dr. Knight.” … last week the Iowa Supreme Court upheld the lower court’s decision (for the second time), maintaining its view that an employee “may be lawfully terminated simply because the boss views the employee as an irresistible attraction.”
“Lookism”
An irresistible attraction? Really?
One has to ask: Isn’t the dentist who hired her in the first place an adult? How is being fired for your appearance not discrimination? Isn’t this the same issue as firing someone for being ugly or fat (however you define either), or for any other physical attribute that has nothing to do with performing the job?
I think these are fair questions, and while most of us might shrug and think “I should have such problems,” shouldn’t we stop and consider some of the implications? That this is – as the writer notes – about appearance according to the “male gaze?” Isn’t this a power issue – a gender or at least sexual power issue?
Good Looks = Higher Pay, Generally
It’s usually the less than attractive individuals who get the “treatment” – the cold shoulder, fewer opportunities, and as data has shown, lower pay.
Research suggests that people who are judged physically attractive are seen as more competent and more socially graceful than those who aren’t; they have more friends and more sex; and they make more money.
Are we surprised?
Recall the article, “Think Looks Don’t Pay?”
Beauty-Obsessed, Youth-Obsessed: Time to Grow Up?
What’s really going on? Isn’t this another manifestation, albeit the reverse of what we typically see, of our beauty-obsessed and youth-obsessed society?
Discrimination based on beauty is rooted in the same sexist principle as discrimination against the ugly. Both rest on the power of the male gaze — the fact that men’s estimation of beauty is the defining feature of the category.
Of course we’re drawn to beauty, however we define it! But maturity teaches us the breadth of attributes that comprise beauty, the diversity of interpretations of what is beautiful, and appropriate boundaries to do with power, place, competence, and context.
What do we make of a culture that cannot cease to judge its women on looks, even as we recognize that men are not entirely exempt? What about the money-making machine that is the media, reinforcing unachievable beauty norms for millions of women, and insinuating themselves into our sense of self-worth?
What about our society that teaches its girls and young women the importance of being pretty, with that definition just a cosmetic surgery or two away? When will we grow up? And how can a court not see this as discriminatory?
I strongly recommend the article by Professor Kimmel. It takes the discussion into very interesting and provocative territory.
Your thoughts?
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So the dentist can’t be responsible for his own actions in the “face” of such beauty? And the court system buys into that? If that’s his level of impulse control, I’m glad he’s not my banker, my gynecologist, my kids’ babysitter……
I’ll say!
I had to look up some pictures of the dental assistant, Melissa Nelson.
Ms. Nelson is an attractive enough woman, but somehow the actions of the dentist inferred she was a stunningly irresistible siren. There is definitely more to this story about both the dentist and his wife. As the old saying goes, “Jealousy is a lack of confidence.” But the dentist was worried about having an affair with her? Excuse me; aren’t we being a tad presumptuous? Who says Ms. Nelson would want to have an affair with Mr. Dental Lothario?
As Michael Kimmel points out in his NY Times article, “the case of Melissa Nelson rests not on her beauty but on Mr. Knight’s perception of her beauty.” For crying out loud, are all of us guys so out of control we can’t share an office with the opposite sex?
Personally, I find this story hilarious. I would slap the dentist, James Knight, silly for being an idiot. But now? He’s an idiot in front of the entire world. “What a pathetic commentary on Mr. Knight: his willpower so limp, his commitment to his wife so weak, that he must be shielded from the hot and the beautiful.”
As a man, this is where I do a facepalm. Somebody should be putting Depo-Provera in Mr. Knight’s water. I hereby revoke the membership of James Knight, dentist and legend in his own mind, in the male gender.
Mr. Belle, You outdo yourself today! (The good dentist’s membership in Maledom revoked? Ah, but what about so many others who may have greater confidence in their impulse control, but who hire / fire / promote / pay based on on looks… or lack thereof? And worse (says the Lilliputian behind the laptop), based on height – regardless of gender?)
Ms. Wolf, I respect your wit, intelligence, and charm. But at the end of the day, we can’t ignore the primordial. I’m a man and you’re a woman. If I, or any of us, display what is considered a shallowness in our dealings with the world, this may be attributed to something in our jeans… I mean genes. Let us hope that when the dentist realises he’s not going to be able to have an affair with his (next) assistant, he will rework his selection process by emphasising competency. (If this was a problem, why did he hire her in the first place?)
But what do I know? I’m only a man and I am (supposedly) visual… and I have the bruised cheek from walking into a lamppost to prove it.
Oh my, where do I even begin with this one? I’m with Mr. Belle on many of his points. Who, after all, hired Ms. Nelson? My guess it was Dr. Knight. And what of his wife? She’s either very insecure to assume her husband was going to have any affair…or she’s learned from experience, which brings up another set of issues altogether. Neither of them gave Ms. Nelson the benefit of the doubt that she could resist the charms of the good doctor. And the justice system….well, its proven itself time and time again not to be very smart when it comes to common sense.
One of my many mottos is this: There’s two sides to every story. I’d love to hear the rest of the other side of the story…
Is there a history of dental infidelity? Having lived through adultery of the workplace/friendspace realm, I can’t say as I’d blame the wife for a bit of insecurity (maybe Melissa and a mistress have the same name. It happens. I know.)
I also can’t say I’d blame the doctor if there’d been some sort of past indiscretions. Especially if they were new and raw. In response to the “Who hired her?” question, I’d ask this: Were there newly disclosed mannerisms, behaviors, actions on the part of the Beauty Fired that led to this ultimate decision?
Now, I’m not saying she’s to blame, so please don’t anyone go gettin’ their knickers in a twist. But I do think I’d like to hear the rest of the story before I form an opinion…
AND, just for the flippin’ record: I’m not SAD anymore. Haven’t been for months! No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to fix that CRAZY network blog bug that started with that post! And if you can help me fix it, I promise never ever, EVER again to write about that kind of breaking sadness. 😉 (okay, since I don’t make promises I can’t keep, I’ll just promise to love you forever. That I can do.)