Venting can be therapeutic, don’t you think? One might say that venting is the same as complaining, though complaining is more problematic – especially irritating when it drags on.
Naturally, there are times when setting aside whatever is annoying us not only helps get through the day, but can improve it.
So when should we kvetch, and when should we keep mum?
Last week I had a few “inconveniences” with connectivity. I tried not to dwell, and just managed as needed. May I say that writing from one’s iPhone is an intriguing experience, and a wee bit batty?
Eh voilà. Life is full of little challenges and intriguing experiences.
Meanwhile, I have a few (not so) minor repairs coming up. (Deep sigh…) More aggravation. But isn’t that part of everyday life?
Tell me. Are these complaints? Facts? Is this venting? Looking for commiseration?
Psychology Today makes a distinction between complaining and whining that I find telling.
Complaining involves voicing fair and legitimate dissatisfactions with the goal of attaining a resolution or remedy… When we… do so without the goal of attaining a resolution we are merely venting. And when the dissatisfactions we voice are trivial or inconsequential and not worthy of special attention, we are whining.
And the effects of our complaining on our actions and emotional state? Does venting help us feel better, while whining binds us to a bad mood?
What about the impacts to those around us?
Noting that the way we are perceived is influenced by the subtle differences in each (per the Psychology Today article), I’m reflecting on how I just presented my “inconveniences.”
How do you see me in the very slight positive spin I’ve given my complaints? Do you see me as whiny, and not wanting resolution – or just tired (and hot), not to mention wanting to wean myself from the iPhone – and for good reason?
What about you?
Do you complain, vent, or whine? Does it depend on the topic, the day, the amount of sleep, the company you keep?
If I scream at my laptop in frustration, get the emotion out of my system, then move on to a task I can perform without hindrance, will that put a smile on my face?
I shall continue with my “commentary,” and add the following remarks –
- Although the air conditioning broke down chez moi last week, only half the house is impacted.
- To say that I’m sleep challenged occasionally is an understatement, though I’ve even gotten decent sleep through it. Well, sort of. (See? Trying to keep a cool head, if not cool body temperature.)
- I’m focusing on the half of the house where the a.c. is just fine, thanks.
Hmm. All these non-complaints – and on a Monday! A Monday after Mad Men withdrawal! Have I been inhabited by an alien being?
Nah. But the bigger picture changes my responses to these irritations.
- The sun is shining.
- I’m enjoying the conversation here, and delighted to be contributing from time to time.
- It’s July! (What happened to June?)
- The sun is shining.
Eh oui, I’m repeating myself. (Maybe it’s the heat?)
And my skinny jeans fit! Don’t know how that happened. It wasn’t intentional. But I’ll take it! What woman doesn’t love it when her skinny jeans fit?
Yes, this is a ramble. Care to register a complaint?
Any venting of your own?
Better yet, any happy news? Do you have days when your power of positive thinking works fine, and others when it’s on the blink? If I have to go another day with “annoyances” will I be so chipper? Anyone care to take bets?
Shoe shopping therapy may be required, and not online shoe shopping. In person – with air conditioning.
And yes, I’ll be wearing my skinny jeans.
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Ok, this deserves to stand on its own:
Congrats on the skinny jeans fitting! It’s probably from all that extra texting and sweating.
Rock it, girl.
I think venting is valid. It’s probably called venting because letting off a little steam allows us to keep our innards in check, just like the vent on a well maintained pressure cooker. Plug up that vent and all hell breaks loose.
Yes, the Mad Men withdrawal hurts. After all, if I’m not watching Mad Men, it just makes me a woman sitting in the dark drinking out of a fancy glass. Is that sad?
Occasional venting is acceptable. We all do it. I am weary,though, of people who seem to find fault in every thing. Their conversations are often just a litany of complaints.
Skinny Jeans! You go, girl.
Ha ha, I was going to write about this as well, as I just got back from Japan where the culture is all about suffering without complaining. I couldn’t do it. I had more meltdowns than our son did, I was so tired. I’m all for venting (and nowadays I feel like I have to preface it with a “First world problem” disclaimer) but I too get turned off by people who are more negative than positive, who have a hard time tolerating even small annoyances. But I think it’s healthy to let out some steam once in a while! (Though I agree we do have to think about the impact on those around us…unfortunately if we are miserable enough to vent, we are probably also too miserable to control ourselves from complaining…)
The distinctions between complaining, venting and whining are also helpful 😉