I wasn’t one of the popular kids. Not ever. You know which ones I mean: the popular guys that get selected for teams, the good-looking ones asked out on dates, the winners who are consistently voted Most This or Best That.
Popularity, in case you’re wondering, is the state of being widely liked or admired, in the broad sense of the word or within an explicit context.
It’s a simple concept and we have examples everywhere… The Most Popular Girl in School. The Most Popular Soft Drink in America. The Most Popular Posts and columns on our blogs and online periodicals.
Isn’t the New York Times Bestseller List a way of measuring popularity? Don’t we then tend to gravitate toward whatever is popular, without too much independent thought? Don’t we, Americans, like likeability — from friends to followers to fans?
Popular Past?
I didn’t think about popularity as a kid or a high-schooler or even in college. I had good friends, plenty of interests, and considering myself somewhat geeky, I had no expectations of being a popular girl socially – back when socially meant with other people, face to face, in a crowd, on a proverbial dance card.
It isn’t that I didn’t need approval and reassurance from others. I did. Don’t we all? But approval from a few was more than sufficient, and those were the days before what The New York Times article, “Facebook Made Me Do It” references as “social approval.”
You know. Feeling good about ourselves based on friends and feeds, likes and retweets.
Twittilation?
Don’t get me wrong. I love my little dopamine spike as much as the next guy; each little up-tick in social approval is a hit of satisfaction. And that’s especially true in an economically chaotic culture where we have de-valued many forms of communication – specifically, those that were once recognized with real rather than virtual currency – in other words, bucks.
But we certainly have distorted the notions of popularity in the past decade or two. Come to think of it, doesn’t the term “pop culture” derive from “popular” – which is oddly oxymoronic when you cozy it up against culture?
We live by a follower mentality, rather than the convictions of our own impressions and opinions, which can be difficult if others don’t agree or support our way of thinking, of being, of living. All hail a version of group-think, as we squander our most independent selves!
Or so it seems to me, at times.
Thumbs Up to Thoughtful Following
We follow fashion trends, don’t we? We follow the political views of our “thought leaders” and charismatic pundits, don’t we? We succumb to the sway of our peer groups, don’t we, though we’re long past high school?
Whether engaging in the real or the virtual, popularity and approval feel good. And I’m all for it, as long as we consider our sources and evaluate the quality of the inputs and feedback we may receive.
Do you define “popularity” for yourself and others? Do you think of it solely in social media terms? Do you measure it in Facebook friends or comments?
Plenty of Popularity Pro’s…
Do you like being “popular?”
I know I do, depending on the context.
But popularity alone isn’t enough to measure the value of a person, a work of art, a book, a site, a city in which to relocate.
It is one generalized indicator that may be useful; ultimately, we need the confidence to inform ourselves, make our own choices, and decide what we like and how much, and even why.
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Ah, BLW,
The Power of Popularity. I was never really a follower, always choosing to wear what I wanted to wear and to do what I wanted to do, despite what was ‘popular.’
And yet I, too, “love my little dopamine spike at each up-tick in social approval.” Yes. We all need reassurance and approval from others, at least occasinally. Thankfully my desire and commitment to my writing isn’t dictated by my current state of near anonymity. 😉
Here’s a little something about leaders and followers. You might like this hillarious take on the subject: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hO8MwBZl-Vc
Keep leading the way, BLW. I’m a followin’… 🙂
I wasn’t part of the “in” crowd in high school either. In fact, I was extremely introverted and had to force myself to learn how to talk with those I didn’t really know well. College was a bit better, but not much. Cultural approval has never been all that important to me. I couldn’t tell you how many FB friends I have or Twitter followers. But I admit I do thrill to see comments left on posts! And I agree popularity is not a good measure of anyone’s worth. But, unfortunately, it’s the barometer our culture uses to measure success.
This is a little bit of a different take on the popularity thing – but I have noticed, after following certain blogs (yours not included!!) that when they have to do with the community surrounding their subject, it feels like there is a select group that is included. The popular ones, perhaps. For instance, in my city, food is big. Local, organic, free range. And there are blogs by restaurant owners and food writers and cook book writer wannabe’s who all know each other and reference each other. One day one blogger wrote about, and showed pics of, a secret picnic. Apparently there is an inclusive group that plans these events and if you are “in” you get an invite and show up at a park with your table and tablecloths and food and have a big party. Then you can blog about it to show how special you are, and how excluded the rest of us are. I notice that about the gardening community here and the folks who attend the society lectures. The main movers and shakers (the writers, nursery owners, radio show folks) all know each other and pay attention to each other and they don’t mingle. It really feels like there is an in crowd of the popular ones.
I don’t know why this bothers me so much, but it has made me stop viewing those blogs that seem more braggy than celebratory.
And I have been on the other side, in a theater group that invites the audience to come down to the (outdoor) stage after the show to meet the actors and see behind the scenes. I would never think to cold shoulder an audience member.
What a fascinating take, Lunaboogie. I suppose it is human nature to be cliquish, for some more than others, in the real world, the virtual world, and its overlap.
This may be the path to success (or self esteem) for some, many even, but it certainly narrows the universe of diverse experiences, doesn’t it…
Popularity. Schmopularity. I’m over it. While it is nice to be recognized….of course….I’ve known for a long time I’m a bit of a different drummer kind of woman…from my writing, to my interests, to my social needs, to my humor – and I’m okay with that. Popularity just brings a few pulls I’m not interested in hanging onto. I’m with you on “approval from a few was more than sufficient.”
Your post brought to mind this Oscar Wilde quote, ““To be popular one must be a mediocrity.”
I’ve always been out of the box and generally never follow the trend of what’s in. This thinking often excludes me from some groups of people, but I am at a point where it doesn’t bother me anymore.
Wonderful quote, Rudri. So true.
Very interesting post, BLW. And I don’t know why I never thought of popularity and independent thought as opposing concepts, because on some level they are, aren’t they? My brother and I have affectionately butt heads over this whole idea of going with recommended/best-selling books and movies. I would try and convince him that a movie is good because “everyone is seeing it” and he would respond that that is precisely the reason he is skeptical. I don’t go for best-sellers, but I do tend to rely a lot on reviews and critiques. I’m not sure if that is the same as going with what’s popular or not trusting my own thinking…
I was never part of the popular crowd either and I’ve never had that desire to have a lot of followers. And like you too of course I am happy if my writing gets recognized and read but I’ve been put off by some of the rah-rahness in the world of blogging, where some bloggers drum up followers through networking rather than really writing quality material. I feel lost in all of that and as one of your posters wrote, sometimes excluded, although in more of a flashback-to-high school sort of way. I’m with Rudri above (and I love her as a blogger/writer)…it’s nice to be at an age where you don’t really care anymore.