Fabulous. Fabulosity. Fabulousness.
What do we think of the tendency to toss out effusively exaggerated descriptions – in particular, calling ourselves fabulous at forty or fabulous at fifty?
Is “fabulous” too glib? Fun? Just right?
Aren’t we fabulous in our 30-something prime? What about our 40-something and 50-something primes – that look and behave a little differently? What about 60-something with our errant strands of gray, our blossoming middles, and just as likely the twinkle in our eyes?
Fabulous?
At any age?
Fabulous – when it comes to how we lead our lives, how we love, how we contribute, how we make a difference?
I’m ambivalent on the term, not to mention its typically restricted usage. I’m teetering. I’m also tempted.
Fabulous… Rebellion?
I’m inclined to embrace “fabulous” for the defiance it instills in me, the rebellion that rocks my mischievous little spirit and wants to kick some apathetic, arrogant, and adversarial-to-aging ass.
I’m leaning toward largesse and latitude for fabulosity as a movement – not about bling bling, but about the True Self and all her glorious gifts – what she murmurs, what she speaks more clearly, what she shouts if required as some of us aren’t too willing to pay attention to those Insightful Inner Voices.
I am Gung Ho on expressing our essentials: our value, our tangibility in an all-too-glossy world, our right to own who we are and what we contribute, our irrepressible humor dredged up on the most onerous of days and dismal of nights.
Our hard-won wisdom.
To hell with what the mirror seems to say on any given day! And screw the scale if you’re healthy!
Fabulous… Celebration!
Do you like who you are? (Should I repeat that?) Do you like who you’re becoming? (Can’t you see we’re always “becoming?”) Are you headed in a direction that feels good – and if so, why not consider an ounce of adjectival amplitude in an otherwise challenging world?
Listen. Yesterday I had the blues. I know exactly why and my reasons are well-founded. Today I feel upbeat and energetic. Tomorrow I might have the blues again.
Life is tricky.
Moods are tricky.
Nothing has fundamentally changed in the past 24 hours and nor do I anticipate any earth-shattering events in the next. But this morning I neatened my face, brightened my cheeks a pinch (without pinching), and headed outside for a walk early in the day rather than late.
Fabulous… Feminine Fancy
It may be that touch of blush and exercise – for me. It could just as easily be 20 minutes of meditation for you, or a half hour to read, or Mozart at the piano. It isn’t so much what it is, but that it is.
As for feeling better when I feel I look better, I admit that’s a resounding yes. As for feeling better when I feel accomplished – even more so. I am a proud product of my many environments, I am comfortable in my skin, I know what will perk me up and equally, that what uplifts and sustains will vary from person to person.
If I may digress, I will mention that a recent so-called debate on the New York Times (on our misunderstood manipulations with maquillage, of all things!) had me shaking my head in dismay.
Yes, dismay.
A debate on makeup? Its impact on female self-esteem?
Self-Esteem… Thy Name is Trouble
The discussion at the Times? Not their finest, as they missed the boat on what could have been an opportunity for a broader discussion on cultural values – female competence sacrificed on the alter of appearance, the narrowing norms for what “attractive” means, the impacts both professionally and personally which translate into health, economic, and social consequences – generally a loss for us all.
Instead, they featured a lackluster discussion, and what I remember most is the fact that someone took issue with a Good Man (and founder of Good Men Project) who wrote lovingly of his wife of 10 years – and her beauty, to him, with or without makeup.
Hello? Is there a heterosexual woman on the planet, of any age, who wouldn’t want to hear that from the man in her life?
So back to fabulous, fabulosity, fabulicious fun. I’m FOR, because it incites me and excites me. If we’re going for hyperbole it might as well be in the audacity department at least a tad, and something that motivates us as women to treat ourselves to a walk if that does the trick, an hour with Adrienne Rich if she’s our pick, or a delicate Dior gloss if that’s our schtick!
Why do women seem to need fabulosity now more than ever?
Do men run around asking if “these pants make me fat?” Do they spend years knocking themselves over the size of their breasts, their hips, or the depth of their laugh lines?
Fabulous… Females!
Sure, sure. Men may be worrying about the size of other things – and needlessly I might add. But society isn’t squeezing them into so tiny a box of acceptable Self that they have to convince themselves they’re still there. Here. Somewhere. And stylishly so, at that.
Fabulous fashions?
Love them!
Fabulous footwear?
Come on. Stilettos Anonymous has my face (and shoes) plastered over the door.
But best of all?
Fabulous females. Fabulous ferocity. Fabulous femininity and arm-in-arm, fabulous feminism. Fierce, frank, feral, flirty. Fabulous freedom to be ourselves.
But not selfishly.
So let’s add thoughtful and true, which are also traits of the women I’ve known in my life and still cherish as friends. Let’s be practical and generous with our kindness to each other, and supportive in efforts to do better. Let’s lavish fabulosity on every woman, man, and child who needs a tender touch.
Because that, to me, is the essence of fabulous.
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I don’t mind the word “fabulous,” but maybe because I don’t equate it with physical appearance necessarily. I think of it as describing someone’s essence, and I do think women get more fabulous as they age. I am so much wiser and more interesting now than when I was younger and my fabulousness was more about my looks and fertility.
Woman of like mind, Pauline. Fabulousness more a matter of essence.
Urban Dictionary: fabulous
1. The ultimate expression of enthusiasm and joy. Characterized by wonder, adoration, inspiration, exhilaration, and love.
2. the ultimate compliment in the gay community.
5. The gay (homosexual) mating call.
7. of an incredible, astonishing, or exaggerated nature
Continuously overused by people trying to sound of a higher class and the homosexual population; to the point that the meaning is not as strong as it once was.
10. a euphemism for homosexual. used as such due to the overwhelming number of gay men that use the word regularly.
11. The gayest word of all time. Gay-speak for “great”
15. flamboyant; homosexual; gay
Seinfeld: Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
I love your definitions of fabulous. I have similar feelings. Fabulous has never been in my vocabulary, unless I was talking about Ab Fab! If I had to pick the time when I’ve felt the most fabulous it would be in the last 10 years. The moment at which I declared my independence and began to see me for who I am. Makeup? Ugh… just a little, it makes me look better in some Glamour Imposed fashion but I will never get in a conversation about the merits of makeup–that’s not who we are at our core.
Men don’t do those things you mentioned because society has never judged men on their physical attributes, or critiqued their hair, the appearance of cleavage or debated their need for lipstick.
And, maybe we’re stuck on fabulous right now as a counterpunch to the continued attacks on women, subtle, political, medical, physical and age-related.
@Walker – Quite true that men aren’t judged on looks the way we are, though they are judged on looks – height, baldness, and then there are their own preoccupations with their assets beyond the wallet… Speaking of wallet, men are judged for that, as we well know.
Fascinating perspective on fabulosity countering the continued attacks on the female of the species.
@Mr. Belle – You always give me a chuckle.
I love the word fabulous and use it often…for me at 59 it means that I am enjoying each moment of my day to it’s fullest and recognizing that life is short….yes, fabulous means I strive to look my best with the body and wrinkles I currently have and have fun with fashion…but it also means that I use the best dishes to eat on every day…I know longer wait to have fun, make sure I do the things I love NOW! For me, fabulous just says you are strong and intelligent and joyful!!
I’ve always attributed “fabulous” with anything grand, not one particular thing… If someone wants to consider the forties or fifties fabulous, then so be it.
I must say that I do feel more fabulous as I’ve gotten older, more sure of myself, more confident, more feminine, more self-loving…
Hubby heard me joke that I was turning 39 this year and then he repeated it, jokingly, when someone asked how old I was going to be. When he said it, I realized that I wouldn’t go back to the 30s for anything. Was such a hard time for me!
I am so looking forward to my 50s!! And with each new bit of growth I undergo, I do feel more and more fabulous, in all of its glory: ferocious, fierce, feisty, feral, flirty, frank, feminine, and freeeeeeeeeee!!!
I think this is fabulous!
@Ellen – So glad you enjoyed!
@Annah Elizabeth – I’ve seen 39 a few times myself (Jack Benny-esque, for those not 39-enough to understand)… 😉
@Pam – I love the way you embrace life so fully. Such a superb example of fabulosity – and more!
I seldom use the word fabulous but I would love if it was used to describe me! I use wonderful more often in describing some one or their actions.
I know what you mean, Haralee! Then again, I think I prefer it when my words or deeds are deemed fabulous. (And maybe my shoes?)
Ah.
Well having been a Latin Scholar in our (wild and misspent Youth) we still equate that word with storyteller of the Fabula.
Or were we truly not listening at school and mis-heard Entirely?
Still smiling at The gender distinction to persons waiting-downstairs at your university college. #divine
And fabulous.
Waving from Manhattan!
My kid Nick decided to wear a dress to nursery school one day. He was experimenting. When he walked in his teacher looked him up and down and said, “You look fabulous!.” Worked for me.
I’m still trying to get over the word awesome. Great post!
Ha! I’m with you on that one, Mary Anne!
Fabulous as essence – I LOVE that. Fabulous embodied in giving a tender touch. LOVE that. In all the big ways we can be fabulous – and we are – love bringing it down to essence and touch.
I don’t usually use the word fabulous, but love how you describe it in your piece. The one word I hear more often than fabulous is “amazing.” Not a word that I think applies to everyday life, but people tend to overuse it anyway.
I don’t mind people finding thoughtful ways of describing their intentions and their feelings. Hyperbole, especially about self, drive me crazy because nobody *is* anything. Nobody all good, all bad, all gentle, all driven, all lazy, etc. But people who self describe these ways infuriate the sense in me of nuance, of circumstance, of luck, of mood.
Nobody is fabulous. Everyone is entitled to strive for fabulous, feel fabulous, appreciate fabulous. But all means, reclaim previously disdained ages and populations by proclaiming them a chance for fabulous. We all need that chance.