Blank.
I went absolutely blank in front of the screen – mid-thought, mid-sentence, mid-action.
Welcome to the Land of Extreme Migraine – blinding, pounding, and debilitating.
At least I knew what it was, and had a few minutes warning which allowed me to push through three critical tasks, in full juggle at that particular moment.
I felt the wave build, but assumed it would pass quickly. I never expected the severity of the episode that followed.
Typically, I can chop a migraine off at the knees with an ibuprofen and a tall glass of water. At most, it’s an uncomfortable hour or two, a dull headache throughout the day, and an occasional annoyance I live with periodically.
Not this time.
I suppose I should have anticipated it. I’ve spent the past weeks burning the proverbial candle at both ends, on little sleep, frequently forgetting to eat, and I was more vulnerable than I realized. Hello… Self-care? Sorry I neglected you…
Whatever elements of biology, chemistry, genetics and environment combine to nail some of us with migraines – some believe exacerbated by stress – yesterday was my personal tsunami.
Migraine Warning Signs
My migraines begin with what is called an “aura,” including warning signs in one eye, along with tingling in fingers, lips, and tongue. My vision may be moderately to significantly impacted. It all dissipates fairly quickly as the headache portion of our program takes over. I do not suffer nausea (which many people do), and I’m grateful for that.
A ghastly migraine like yesterday?
They appear seemingly out of nowhere. It’s been several years since the last one which, in fact, occurred during an extended period of extreme sleep deprivation – a place from which I have written through the fog, in part to capture the experience of it.
As for my tasks in process when the migraine hit, I anticipated having a few minutes to prepare. I polished off what I could, and hoped to complete one more activity. But I was stopped in my tracks.
Five minutes earlier I was perfectly fine. And then I wasn’t.
The fingertips on my right hand began to tingle, my tongue went numb, and the pounding began in my temples – the right side more than the left. A strange pattern of light moved across my field of vision, temporarily obliterating one section of it. And I plunged down the rabbit hole utterly defenseless – the terrifying free fall where simple actions unchain from sequential meaning, language is stripped away in a flash, and what remains is confusion and overwhelming helplessness.
I had swallowed an ibuprofen and water at the first signs just minutes before. But I found myself in front of my computer screen – muddled and unmoving.
It’s strange how one can be wordless yet still feel – I was aware of my disconnection, aware of my fear, and likewise – angry at the suddenness of the episode. But I had no words to transform feelings into precise thoughts, as crystallized by language. It’s infuriating and frightening when words go dark; it feels like death of a part of yourself – something you cannot even give a name.
Migraine Facts
According to Wikipedia, migraines of various sorts afflict 10% of the population globally. Other facts about migraines which you may or may not know include:
- Exact mechanisms of migraines are unknown
- Migraines run in families
- In some, warning signs (irritability and more) may occur hours or even days before
- An aura typically begins minutes before and may last up to one hour
- Aura symptoms can be visual, sensory or motor; 99% of those experiencing an aura suffer visual symptoms
- Both men and women suffer migraines, with women suffering more as adults
- Hormonal changes are believed to play a role (including at menopause)
- Deterioration of speech and language is a somewhat less common symptom of the aura phase
- Beyond the aura phase (for those who experience it), what remains is headache from moderate to severe, which may last from several hours to several days
- For most, sleep will ease migraine symptoms
- In the United States, about 6% of men and 18% of women get a migraine in a given year (Wiki).
For more detailed information on migraine symptoms, treatments, and prevention, check out these migraine headache topics at e-MedecineHealth.
And if you get migraines and have children, talk to your doctor about educating your kids. One of my sons got his first migraine in middle school and was terrified. At the time, I didn’t know migraines ran in families, and it never occurred to me to explain the symptoms.
Oh Happy Day; Make That “Oh Happy Next Day”
A migraine that puts me down for hours or even a day? Rare, thankfully, but it happens. It has to be nearly three years since I experienced anything remotely this bad, and I found myself grateful I wasn’t sitting in a meeting, or worse – behind the wheel of a car.
With fragmented vision in one eye and my right hand unusable, I had the presence of mind to push three buttons with my left hand on my cell. I reached a friend who literally walked me through an online process I had performed thousands of times and could not recall. She then read what I wrote online, calmly told me what I had to fix (and couldn’t see), and slowly, with one hand and one good eye, I did exactly that.
My friend then instructed me to get a cold compress for my forehead, and turn down the lights, which I did. Missing words returned within the hour, and I spent the rest of the day working in short spurts through a dull headache, weakness, and slightly blurred vision.
Today?
I’m tired, my eyes hurt, my body aches. Relatively, I feel great!
While there are many elements that form to cause migraines (and still so much unknown), I am also keenly aware of keeping a ridiculous schedule, I know I cannot sacrifice healthy eating much less necessary sleep, and I am more determined than ever to rectify my problematic behavior any way that I can.
We live a crazy lifestyle in this country. Many, like me, are not doing so by choice, but as a matter of economic necessity. That doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy what we do, but we take little downtime, experience even less let up of stress, and much as I love when my kids tell me to chillax – until our culture and our communities begin to carefully examine our work-life disconnects and the infrastructure we all need eventually – I fear too many of us will be taking a pounding on our health.
If that’s the case, then may we all have a close friend who is so caring and calm as mine was yesterday – a true port in my very scary storm.
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Yes, I know it sounds so completely ridiculous to write things like “sending a virtual hug your way” but hopefully you will understand that I really mean from my heart that I am glad that you are feeling better today. And thank you for taking us through the process, not fun to relive I am sure, because those of us who have never been through it really can’t understand, it is true. What interested me is how much the experience resembles some of my Sister’s less extreme epileptic seizures (now mercifully a thing of the past).
Soit forte,
H
Oh wow! I’ve only had one migraine in my life–I didn’t know that’s what it was, I actually thought I was dying. It was right after my first child was born, I think he was only 2 weeks old or so. My husband was at work and I was utterly incapacitated, even to call him (before the days of a cell phone always within reach). I just sat on the couch with my baby in my arms and prayed. Utterly awful. I’m glad you are OK today and sorry for your numerous experiences with this!
The first time it happened to my son, in middle school I think, he thought he was deathly ill. Once I explained, he felt better. It passed for him fairly quickly – 30 to 60 minutes, but the kid was terrified. Now he knows, he can feel, as do I. They’re fairly infrequent for him as well.
I don’t get migraines, but I do get hormonal headaches that are brutal. I wake up with a headache almost every day. It’s something I’ve learned to live with, but it’s exhausting sometimes. I look forward to being through with perimenopause when these headaches will (theoretically) abate. I can’t imagine the discomfort of a migraine.
Migraines do indeed run in families — my husband got his from his mother and they definitely have a pattern (vision loss for 30 minutes, then the headache). I know of nothing else that can lay him flat like one of those. They last no longer than a day, unlike his mother’s (which persist for several). Whatever the length, I know they’re debilitating. I’m glad you are feeling better today and that you had help in the midst of the initial attack.
So glad you feel better today. I’ve suffered with migraines for years; fortunately, they’re not as intense or as often now that I’ve had a hysterectomy. I had one for the past few days and managed to shake it off this morning. Sometimes when all else fails I can freeze it out. I no longer take anything stronger than Excedrin migraine after an adverse reaction to Imitrex.
Are these sudden onset, or do you have a low or mid-grade headache before the migraine?
I have been working on an article to submit to a health magazine… Long story short: My daughter has had headaches since she was old enough to hold her hands to her head…which became more frequent, more intense, lasting longer (as many as ten days straight), and occasional full-blown migraines (aura, vomiting)–the first of which happened when she was in middle school.
FINALLY figure out the problem last year when we took her to see a neuro optometrist. NOT your average eye doctor… “Special” glasses (for only a year or two…she has 20/20 vision) and vision therapy for a few months.
We saw IMMEDIATE relief…one year later she hardly takes OTC migraine meds, which she was taking full daily allotments almost daily before…
Yes, yes – I’m so glad you had a good friend – aren’t we all to have friends to help us through. So sorry to hear of your pain and setback – I, too, suffered from migraines for years – randomly “pounding” and so frightening and incapacitating. With menopause – they’ve gone (I’m whispering this last sentence). Wishing you deep breaths, rest, lots of water and a reprieve.
Oh BLW, I’m so sorry you experience those dreadful things. While I’m not prone to them, I have good friends who suffer from migraines and have much sympathy for you. It seems like they are so varied in causes, it’s hard to pinpoint the source. I wish for you a 3-day weekend of rest, relaxation and renewed health. Take care, my friend. xoxox
I’m fortunate, Lisa. It’s not often. Perhaps that’s why it catches me by surprise when it happens!
How terrifying and painful that sounds! Both my grandmother and mother suffered with migraines. My brother was the unfortunate offspring who gets them now. He takes a medication daily to prevent them. I’m not sure what it’s called, but he wouldn’t be without it. I’ve only had one, which included the aura, 20 years ago and remember the pain to this day. Glad you’re feeling better.
In solidarity. I get migraines maybe 4 times a year and on Wednesday morning I woke up with hint of headache that turned into a killer migraine by 10am. I never have an aura or a warning. I just realize it is there, and if I do nothing about it, it will get worse and worse. It can progress within 10 minutes to nausea and vomiting. I consider Imitrex a miracle drug. It can nip it in the bud, if I catch it soon enough. Worst case, like Wednesday morning, I take the medicine and go to bed and wake up 3 hours later with no pain and just a bit of fuzzy head from the Imitrex.
I know the triggers for my migraines – lack of sleep, low blood sugar, stress. 2 of those together can equal a migraine. In the case of Wednesday, I was on a trip after taking my daughter to college. Major stress and lack of sleep (3 time zones away from what I am used to) as well as erratic eating . Fortunately, I carry my Imitrex everywhere. Without it, I am incapacitated.
Imitrex works for my wife, Zomig for a friend. Ah, drugs. Expensive drugs.