My definition of a hot guy? Smart. Funny. (Aren’t humor and smarts sexy – in a man or a woman?)
And sure, penetrating eyes, a great smile, a cute butt – they don’t hurt.
So. We have this week’s news about Anderson Cooper.
And?
He’s gay. And?
The Gay Thing – who is, who isn’t, and whether or not anyone cares. Or rather, whether or not some of us even go there – consider it, don’t consider it – unless the subject is explicitly raised.
I fully understand that it’s important to discuss this issue because of terrible acts of bullying, kids suffering a sense of shame, and discrimination that persists in some circles – all the reasons you’ve already seen in the media.
All valid.
And maybe I’m a bit clueless. When I meet someone, I’m impressed (or not) by overall appearance and mannerisms – how a person holds him or herself, their scent, their gestures, their clothing. Like anyone else.
But I’m more affected by what he or she may say and how they say it. And yes, first impressions count.
But rarely do I ask myself “Is he gay? Is she gay?”
Um… Why would I?
Sure. If I were interested in a man, I’d want to know if he were gay or straight. But otherwise?
As for Anderson Cooper, I’ve always enjoyed him as a journalist. I appreciate his intelligence and his wit. Beyond the journalist’s role (when he appears elsewhere in the media), I’ve found him cute, personable, and interesting – including the fact that he’s Gloria Vanderbilt’s son.
Did I ever consider his sexuality one way or another?
Again… Why would I?
I’m really not trying to oversimplify what can be a complex situation for many, particularly when certain religious or cultural views prevail in many corners. But maybe it’s simpler than we make it. With President Obama’s “evolution” toward same sex marriage, and with “coming out” less of an issue than it once was – which doesn’t mean we don’t have miles to go – might we all start to accept human beings as just that, and set aside judgment as to who they should love, who they should marry, and whether or not it’s our business?
We all knew, didn’t we? But I’m with you: who cares? Or should care? My two favorite things about AC are his giggle fits and The Ridiculist.
Just thinking of that giggle makes me smile, Pauline.
Whether or not it’s our business…that’s the point, isn’t it? I have 2 nephews who recently “came out.” Both my sister’s sons. The 2 of them her only children. One a successful entrepreneur who travels internationally. One recently graduated from Columbia Law and working in Manhatten. Both in their mid 20’s. Both great kids. They came out rather nonchalantly. Why not? My sister? Said she just wants them to live congruently. Isn’t that what we all deserve? To be authentic. Most of us just don’t have to stand at a on a public stage and announce for judgment or acceptance what that is.
Yes, to be authentic. I agree, Barb.
I grew up with the idea that there were some aspects of peoples’ lives that, from an etiquette standpoint would have been rude to ask or talk about, and that was underlay by a feeling that you didn’t have any right to go there anyway. As I have grown older, my personal philosophy has incorporated the distinct idea of respect, and common decency means that I should respect a person’s choices in the most personal and foundational areas of their identities.
Sometimes though, I wonder why gays feel it important to make a statement by coming out, and I sometimes feel like straights are pre-emptively presumed to be prejudicial. But then I am reminded by articles like yours of the discrimination and bullying which indeed does exist, and of times in my own life when I was, if not bullied, at least put on the defensive for being a little too different for the culture I inhabited.
But in general, my feeling is “Why should I care who someone finds attractive”? One of the benefits of growing older is I have realized there are many things I simply do not have to have an opinion about. That can sometimes be awkward socially when people want to make conversation about an issue you have disengaged from, but overall I find it is a relief.
Ah, yes. Respect, common decency. I wonder if in some circles we’ve lost the importance of these values/behaviors, Robert. I hope not.
I had a little comment forming in my head but then read Robert’s and simply thought “hear, hear”…
🙂 Tout à fait.
Our interest in sexual orientation stems from what exactly? Tradition? (Tradition, well the public face of tradition = heterosexual) What does sexual orientation or gender for that matter have to do with competency? (I’ve had two female doctors over the years) Tradition? Xenophobia? I only like those who are like me? I tune in to Anderson for the news, not for his private life. Okay, I’m not gay. I’m pretty happy but I’m not gay. Who cares? Let’s move on to the news.
I’m reading. – wb 🙂
I love the Anderson! So sexy and funny and quirky and smart. Men all over should be glad he’s on their team.
it will be a good day when no one feels the need to announce their sexual orientation because it doesn ‘t matter anymore. It’s sad that we’re not there yet.
Anderson Cooper is smart, funny, handsome and sexy. I ‘m glad there’s some lucky guy sharing his life.
“might we all start to accept human beings as just that. . .” Yes, yes! Not only might we, we ought to. So long as you don’t infringe on my right to live my life, to love whom I love, to believe as I believe, I will not infringe on yours. All I truly care about is whether you are a “good” person.
I gave up caring after I found out about Jodie Foster.
I’m with you about what is most attractive in a man is his intelligence and humor.
That being said why would the subject of gay or not gay even cross my mind? What matters in a human being is heart and competence in regards to his fellow man/woman. The only difference between someone gay and someone hetero takes place in the privacy of their bedroom and I wouldn’t dream of asking or even being remotely interested in what happens “dans la chambre” between 2 consenting adults.
Beautifully summed up, La Bergère.
Well, this makes no difference to me. He is handsome and a successful journalist. Wouldn’t it be nice if this was not something that makes headlines. It not only makes headlines, but it seems to have ruffled someone’s feathers…
There is a somewhat scathing article by Andrew Miller on the Huffington Post about Cooper’s timing. He sounds bitter that he and others have paved the way at the cost of their careers, while Cooper secured himself in his position and financially before coming out. He acknowledges Cooper’s hard work, but it sounds like there are some sour grapes.
My favorite AC is his traditional pairing with Kathy Griffin on CNN’s New Year’s eve coverage. Last year KG made several off-color jokes alluding to AC’s sexual orientation and we wondered if she was leading up to outing him! Regardless, that it has taken this long for him to officially come out speaks to something important. AC may well have resigned himself to state-side work from here out (so to speak). He is a worldly dude and likely calculated the cost of coming out as a foreign correspondant when many cultures are much less accepting than ours.
I’ve loved AC since he was on a show called The Mole. Interesting, quirky and smart. That’s what I care about.
Humor and intelligence…a sexy combination in either gender that simply cannot be beat. It is sad that respect and common decency are all too often missing in how people treat each other. But, I did hear female hearts break all over the world when Matt Bomer (Neil Caffrey on White Collar) announced he was gay.