“Why should my tax dollars pay for your medical care?” she says.
Her blue eyes are piercing against her softly tanned skin. Her eyebrows are raised, and her lips pursed in annoyance. At first I think she’s kidding. But she’s not.
She is about thirty, and we know each other casually. She’s healthy, single, in a long-term committed relationship which she expects will move on to marriage within the year. She’s worked the same job for the entire time I’ve known her – four or five years. She is skilled at what she does, she is sweet-natured and chatty. She has family whom she loves.
She is young. She is inexperienced. She is, like too many of us, uninformed.
One of the things I love about this country is our sense of freedom. The extent to which our freedom is “as free” as it once was is up for debate, but nonetheless, we generally feel at ease speaking our minds, exchanging opinions on topics that interest us, and agreeing to disagree, then making choices we can believe in.
But this was a conversation that took me by surprise.
“What did you just say?” I ask.
“I don’t see why my tax dollars should have to pay for your doctors,” she says.
I am staggered, and for a moment, silenced. We had been talking about this and that, about men and marriage, about reasons to marry rather than living together – including the fact that only through state-sanctioned marriage is a spouse entitled to share benefits, including health care. That sometimes people stay married for access to benefits.
She knows I am divorced.
She knows I’ve been an independent worker for many years – not by choice, but by circumstance – like many Americans trying to survive this recession.
She knows I’ve struggled as a single mother, and more so because of the cost of health care. Who doesn’t realize that all it takes is one unexpected injury or illness, and without coverage, it can mean financial devastation?
Apparently, she doesn’t realize, though she is aware of the car accident I was in a few years back, and the untreated injuries due to the expense.
“Tell me,” I say. “I spent 24 years working for corporations, and more than 6 working independently. I’ve paid taxes for 30 years. I paid into health insurance while in employer group plans, not to mention into social security part of which covers Medicare. Insurance is about pooling resources that someone else may need, and you may need in the future. Don’t you think my money has paid for services used by others? For health care? For the roads you drive on, for example? Don’t you think you’re already paying for others?”
She looks at me and says: “I shouldn’t have to pay for you. And you can still find a job with an employer who will offer health coverage.”
“Not at my age,” I say. “It’s unlikely.”
“But look at you. You look young. You’re energetic. Of course you can.”
I shake my head.
“I’m not saying it’s impossible. But I’ve tried for years. And what I am saying is that age discrimination is alive and well, and for millions of us we never get that far. There is no face-to-face impression. All it takes is one or two inquiries on the Internet, and then you can approximate the age, and stick the application in the ‘Do Not Consider’ pile.”
She looks at me blankly and I take a breath, realizing she has probably never set foot in a Human Resources Department much less a corporation, that her world – generally – operates around a 40 or 50-mile radius, if that.
She is a good woman, a nice woman, a woman who expects to marry soon and raise children, who presumably will then have medical benefits through her husband, who certainly doesn’t anticipate divorce or job searching or all the unforeseen events that can happen to anyone.
Her life may proceed according to her plan (and I hope it does), or it may not.
And then she may find herself living a dramatically different reality, a woman’s reality, with all its hidden costs, sanctioned by a culture (and political context) to which she is currently oblivious. I think again about the statistic that 85% of all single parent households are headed by women. I think again about the 77 cents on the dollar, on average, that women earn compared to men.
She says: “I don’t have any medical benefits and I’m just fine, and I don’t expect anyone to pay for me.”
She speaks these words with conviction, as though the concept of health care as a basic human right for a civilized people would never even enter her consciousness. Perhaps because education as a basic human right for a civilized people hasn’t entered our American consciousness.
She, like millions of others, has no understanding of what “insurance” is or how it works, no understanding that if a country’s people are uneducated and unhealthy then we are nowhere, that in Europe, this debate was settled long ago and both education and health care are considered human rights – that of course a country requires its people to be decently educated and healthy in order for us to work together, to live together, to contribute – as a society.
Couldn’t we point to health care as delivered in France for example, ranked a few years back as number 1 in the world (the U.S. was ranked 37)? Could we mention the per capita cost of $3,500 per person, which is considerably less than the $6,100 per person in America? Or might we point to Germany or even Canada – and say – no, none of these are perfect systems, but they offer excellent care which is not a function of whether or not you’ve been “downsized” or you’re poor, or you’re of a certain age and no longer employable, or you do or don’t have an employment “relationship?”
And I wonder how many others there are – millions of others – never unemployed (as yet), never sick (as yet), not old enough (as yet) to understand what this feels like, blindly unaware of the financial devastation that a single illness can cause, of the expense of a child’s medical needs, of their own good fortune in a country with so much promise – and seemingly unable to deliver on it.
Hear, hear, to everything you’ve said above. What some people also don’t realize is that *even if you have insurance,* even if you “do everything right,” an accident or a catastrophic illness can cause financial ruin. We’re most of us just one drunk driver or bad CAT scan away from having our lives pulled out from underneath us.
And people like your friend are *already* paying for other people’s healthcare…with higher medical fees to cover the un- and underinsured people who show up in emergency rooms with serious (and expensive) problems that could have been mitigated had they been able to get ongoing health care.
Quite right, Une Femme. And most forget that even with insurance as it is currently structured, their are ceilings on coverage. And then what?
I too have been frustrated with the ignorance. Many times it is those who have never needed help who are the least to offer it. I have not had health insurance in over three years, I live in fear for my dependents and myself if anything should happen… I don’t ‘expect’ help, but being in a situation similar to yours, (paid into a system for 18 years now, and may come to the point in unemployment where I NEED any help I can get) I would STILL give what portion of my meager pay to help those who are worse off than I am.
Our healthcare system in Britain is not perfect but I am always grateful that we don’t have this problem. To have to worry about healthcare has knock on effects – making it hard for people to live a in a modest way. And we should be aiming to live modestly for the sake of the planet.
Thanks for joining in from the U.K., Jenny. Yes, worrying about health care has effects on every aspect of life – from the time we have our babies to going to school, to going out into the workforce and contributing in some way, and in the potential for enjoying a bit of life with our friends and families.
I’m certainly with you on aiming to live modestly for the sake of the planet. Another “value” that seems to have lost its way in the mainstream, on this side of the pond.
Such restraint on your part not to slug this woman! It’s amazing how let-them-eat-cake people can be until one day they wake up and someone’s taken that cake. I work at a job I don’t particularly like but offers health insurance and a retirement plan. Career fulfillment is much lower priority for me than benefits. Sad, but true in this era.
The cost will come to us all one way or another. It’s easy, when you are young and healthy to imagine a bubble around you, but the interconnectedness of the world sends my mind reeling. I am happy to pay the taxes we do. To pay for schools, hospitals, roads, and to help out those who are in need, be it for food or medical help.
I have a dear friend who did everything right. She worked, she had insurance. Still, when catastrophic illness hit, the costs nearly took her home. This enrages me.
When you are young, it is so easy to be righteous. It’s when you find yourself single with children, when an illness hits and you are without insurance or when you grow older that you begin to see reality. And then you can wonder if you can afford to continue to live. And, by the way, you paid Social Security AND Medicare, and neither of these amounts are low. Entitlement? That gets my hair up!
I couldn’t agree more, Carol.
I’m going to say something that may seem like a gross over-generalization; however, my profession is one in which I work with young people, so here it goes: youth does not feel compassion nor appreciation. Like I said, an over-generalization, I’m sure. Nine times out of 10, though, in the lives of the teens I work with there is a general apathy towards anyone else. Many view people who believe in universal health care as feeling “entitled”, which is so hypocritical and they don’t see it. The younger generations seem to be, at a majority pace, extremely self-focused. And, that worries me…
It worries me on many levels. I wonder what we have done in our society, in our generation, to foster this mind set. Personally speaking, I have two children who are very conscientious of the world outside of theirs (with limits, hey, they are still developmentally teenagers). And, on occasion, I have teenaged students who amaze me at their ability to feel compassion towards others and think universally and not singularly. However, again, that type of maturity and conscientiousness is waning…and, that is frightening.
Maybe it is the dog-eat-dog mentality of survival of the fittest that this younger generation has seen, especially in recent years with the economic downfall and the loss of jobs. Maybe it is because we have been reckless with the way we have raised them. My mom uses the term “Funny Money” a lot to describe how people in recent years have lived…off of credit or exorbitant mortgages, still lavishing children with whatever whim or 5th Ave. has targetted towards them.
I think it is a combination of everything that creates the woman you have described. It’s almost as if she has placed herself in some sort of microcosmic bubble…nothing around her affects her so she will have no affect on others because they should be able to fend for themselves. Where is humanity in this mentality?
I hear you, Tina. I hear you loud and clear, and see the same – including in the adults. “Me” over “we.” Quantity over quality. Frightening, yes.
Just have that salt shaker ready when she has to eat her words. She looks at me blankly says it all.
I agree with Tina about youth not feeling compassion or appreciation. But I’m not sure it’s new. It usually takes some personal disasters before you start thinking about other people, before caring is specific rather than abstract.
Wolf, I’m sure the lacking compassion as a descriptor for young people is not new. However, I have seen so much self-preservation as a mighty motivator in recent years with the kids I work with. They have had personal tragedy happen to one of their own many times, unfortunately, in the area where I work. Tragedy that shook the school. No change affected because no one of the teens, nor their parents for that matter, have taken any form of responsibility in the events that have occurred. Why? Self-preservation and time allow the “issue” to be swept away. And, that is what is being taught in their homes as well as, dare I say, in the school by those in charge. We wipe our hands because it didn’t take place on school grounds; we can’t meddle with the families’ decisions. I think that is morally, ethically, and socially very irresponsible and shouldn’t be occurring in an institution, publicly funded, that is to promote education and graduate well-rounded citizens.
I apologize if I seem to be “heated” about this topic. Even with personal tragedy/disaster not much changes with the majority, unfortunately.
Maybe a little “heat” is what we need, Tina. Thank you for your participation in these discussions.
I think I’m most appalled by this woman’s ability to say what she did to your face, knowing your story. It’s one thing to think such things and keep them to yourself. It’s another to open your mouth and say them so baldly, in a way that can’t possibly be meant to seek understanding or insight. Ugh. There’s ignorant, and there’s also unkind.
This post reminded me of the following quote: “Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone, just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.” (Fitzgerald). I often find that people need a crisis to realize the world involves more than their little life.
As always BLW, you handle delicate discussions with such grace. xoxo
Delicate discussions indeed, Rudri. A shame that so many need a crisis of their own, as you point out.
Perhaps she isn’t exposed enough to the opinions of people who differ, or who have had different experiences. She seems a bit callous. We are all dependent on each other. “The common good” is as much about pragmatism as about idealism. Probably more.