Is my own version of Moms Gone Wild in the future? Is it in yours?
Once my chicks have flown the nest, I doubt I’ll be the poster parent for frenzied frolicking or salacious sex scenes. Then again, you never know, though I suspect that an afternoon of discount designer shoe shopping might be more like it. (Anyone care to join me for a play date at DSW?)
Imagining the Future
Surely, I’ll need an updated look. Those fab red glasses I purchased recently – they’re a good start. Maybe a few capricious curls. Practicing my petulant pout – and not for use on the Times crossword!
Were money no object, I know exactly how I would treat myself on a regular basis: weeks at a time in my favorite neighborhood in Paris, the occasional dalliance on the Riviera, that trip to Italy (at last!), and periodic popping up to New York to meander through museums and attend art exhibits. And maybe, just maybe, some wining, dining, and dancing around my own little corner of the country.
Now the question is – would that add up to “wild” – or just wonderful?
In an amusing essay on Slate that ran earlier this week, Jessica Grose ruminates on the changes in her mother, no longer burdened by the parenting-career juggle. The author notes that Mom is increasingly unreachable, and apparently living an enviably exciting social life at the age of 62.
Fêting my final Mother’s Day with a kid at home full-time, might that woman be me at some point – and in the not too distant future?
Marriage and Children
Naturally, for those of us who took on marriage and children, our “prime” is typically blurry, boisterous, and brimming with non-stop dedication to family and work, and to the work of family. It’s the challenge of (theoretically) having it all, which may mean doing it all. Especially if you’re mired in the complexities of single parenthood.
We raise our sons and daughters, and all too often find ourselves so tired we can’t enjoy the process. Might I mention that in the U.S., we’ve become wedded to a lifestyle that frequently forfeits fun for the myth of manufactured must-do tasks, for an implausible image of perfect partnership and parenting?
Most of us try to embrace what we can, focus on the joy, and plod along. But personally, I like the concept of a little parental partying throughout the child-rearing journey. As it isn’t always in the cards – married or otherwise – why not a concept of Post-Parental Gone-Ga-Ga?
Reading, Writing, and Mothering Mischief?
As I sit in my quiet room on a sunny morning, I imagine a variety of futures. I try on possibilities for how to spend the years to come, hoping they will be fruitful, flirty, (French?) and filled to capacity – with mama-licious mischief, learning and loving, reading and writing, and seeing my sons continue to grow into fine young men.
- Are you in your prime? Is that a concept that’s still relevant?
- Are you single and searching? In the thick of the parenting juggle?
- Are you nostalgic for a little “wild time” of your own?
- As you look to your future, what do you imagine when the kids are grown?
Amen.
Here’s to having busy social schedules (by choice) and to “fruitful, flirty, and filled to capacity” years.
You say it well.
Insofar as longevity is concerned, I am well past my prime. Insofar as finding pleasure in life goes, I am in my prime. Each age has a different “prime”.
I am no longer single and parenting, nor am I in the thick of the parenting juggle. I survived those times and while I am glad they are in the past now, I remember much joy along with the worry and hard work.
Not nostalgic for “wild time” anymore – perhaps wishing for the ability to travel, even if only within this country, and to find things to photograph.
I think I imagined freedom when the kids were grown, and I had that. Along with the joy of having them near enough to see often enough and to enjoy the grandchildren when they were babies.
Go for it. Personally, I’m now ready for wild times with my wild wife.
On the other hand, what about boomerang children?
Oh yeah. The Boomerang Gang. Jeez, Paul. You had to go and remind me of that!! 😉
Not quite craving the wild times just yet. More and more, I’m learning to enjoy the now.
Hope you’re having a lovely Mother’s Day, BLW.
Count me in for the play date at DSW! I’m so there!
Being a late dad with an eight year old, I’m ready for a long rest when he’s grown, with absolutely nothing to do. A wild time would be a movie every night in bed, thank you Netflix.
But what are boomerang children?
I hear you, Wolf – on Netflix in bed! As for Boomerang children, think of the trajectory. Toss it outward, and it comes back.
Grown children who move back home – typically after college or grad school because they can’t get work, or they can’t afford to live on their own.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. As my children get older (16 and 13) I find myself with more time on my hands, and not quite sure what to do. Between working and being a mom I sort of lost, me. A shoe shopping trip to DSW sounds like a good start! 🙂
Oh Linda. You said a mouthful: “Between working and being a mom I sort of lost, me.” By the time they hit pre-teens and teens, our former lives seem like a blur, don’t they? (I do think shoe therapy works wonders though. Your DSW or mine?)
Perhaps the ultimate challenge is to get past all the roles that we have learned, inhabited, seen and imagined in favor of discovering the mysterious beings that we are beyond all description much less place, time and activity depiction. Here’s to mapless unfolding.