For the past two weeks, I’ve been aware of the need to interact with “the world” – to be out and about dealing with some tricky issues and potentially resistant individuals. I needed all my reserves, my most professional manner, and preferably – patience.
As a person who works from home, I have no need to “dress” these days. It’s comfort clothing and nothing more – with the pros and cons that suggests. But I haven’t forgotten how to set the scene. In dressing professionally, I have an easier time calling upon a variety of skills – calmly.
After all, when we dress the part, don’t we become the part?
While many say the clothes make the man (or woman), I’ve always thought that’s only partially true.
Still, when you tidy up the outside, for some of us, it brings out the best of the inside. When we’re confident in our appearance, we often perform better – at everything.
Battle Gear (a.k.a. Power Dressing)
My battle gear of late? Hardly the stuff of an IBM presentation, but I could likely walk into any New York coffee shop (or Parisian bistro) and feel at home. I imagine I could walk into any business and feel comfortable as well.
I’ve weathered some long days, and the part I needed to assume was about competence and certainty – in what I needed, and the importance of getting things resolved quickly.
I also had to come across as a diminutive force-to-be-reckoned-with, in full recognition that we all judge by appearance (right or wrong), at least initially. After that of course, it’s about substance. Having the goods to back up the impression.
While the issues I was addressing aren’t all resolved, there has been progress and considerable attention paid. And that was the objective.
Aspirational Dressing?
When we’re at home raising families or plugging away at our professions from the little room we call an office – there’s no question that we can be effective, with or without dressing the part. But for me? Most of the time, it’s easier if I do dress for the tasks at hand.
As a mother of small children, I dressed for mess – of all sorts. As they grew and I worked for a corporation from home, I wore business casual in my home office, because I was literally going to work – about 15 feet from where my children were playing. It was, nonetheless, going to work.
I accomplished more by dressing the part – especially when my days were filled with conference calls and meetings.
When we are home-based, do we lose the power of dressing for who we wish to be as much as who we are? Are some of us less effective if we don’t wear some element of the “look” of who we want to be?
Fake it Until You Make It
I’m not a fan of the fake it until you make it school of life. It only takes you so far. But I do recognize that when you feel confident, it is easier to accomplish your goals. For myself, when I dress for an art opening, or for a business meeting, or for a date – each has an objective and an agenda. I am more “aligned” when I set the stage and dress the part.
There are certainly times (after a breakup for example) when confidence falters. We lose faith in ourselves, our judgment, and we’re wary of those we might encounter. We may succumb to depression – for any number of reasons.
Dress? Are you kidding?
And yet when we do, generally, we feel better. I’m not certain if it’s the act of spending a little focused time on ourselves, the clothing itself, or attentiveness to what can be a fun form of self-expression.
But speaking for myself – that extra 30 minutes makes all the difference in the world, whether it’s putting on a little makeup, a favorite sweater that I know is flattering, or a special bracelet that reminds me of wonderful times.
Dilemmas and Dates
In the past weeks, tackling gargantuan tasks with due dates and unexpected forays into the bureaucratic twilight zone (yes, that’s what my dilemma has entailed), I’ve dressed neatly and professionally in order to keep my behavior and discussion on point. I haven’t always succeeded, but I’m certain I’ve done better than if I hadn’t dressed the part.
I’ve also gone out on occasion – for an hour here or there – for coffee, for a conversation, and to perk up my spirits through a difficult time.
I have dressed nicely to do so – and felt better.
I have resorted to one of my variations of the LBD, the Little Black Dress, and I believe this has been a lesson I needed – a reminder that dressing the part reinforces competence in any arena. And, taking a small amount of time for myself is an act of attentiveness that is equally helpful.
What about you?
- Do you believe you can fake it until you make it?
- Do you believe that dressing the part – professionally or personally – will help you do so?
- Do the clothes make the man – or the woman?
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I do get dressed more often than I don’t. But I dress for comfort but never, ever sacrifice my style which is a hodge, podge of funky, bohemian and classic. Things that make me feel good and powerful, red anything (Taylor Swift wears red lipstick when performing), great shoes and boots, a rockin’ piece of jewelry, a scarf that frames my face, good hair, and a matching bra and underwear set maybe in animal print. That’s all I’m saying…
You’re good! Power RED – I love it!
(And it really does make a difference.)
When I interned, the house staff would round on patients some of whom had been in hospital for weeks. We knew the time for discharge would soon be at hand when a man started shaving daily and combing his hair, or a woman began applying makeup. We called it the Revlon Sign.
It is a good sign, isn’t it. Of health – or at the very least – believing that health is within grasp.
I notice a definite difference when I get up and shower/dress in clothes than when I don’t shower and stay in PJs. Therefore, with this hugely clinical study, I conclude that dressing the part definitely makes a difference!
Note to self: No bunny slippers while working in my neat jeans and sweater. . . 😉
I don’t think one can successfully fake their way through their career; the knowledge and skills have to be there at some point. When I practice ‘faking’ it’s more about not dribbling my insecurities out loud and making other people uncomfortable. I think just keeping quiet and paying attention – getting out of yourself long enough to take in what’s going on – is sometimes a form of faking. Dressing appropriately is another way of not embarrassing other people. If you look smart and capable, they feel more at ease and don’t have to worry about you. No, I don’t believe the clothes make the person, they just give initial impressions and allow the person to start out on the right foot. I always found that wearing the right clothes just gave me one less thing to worry about and helped me concentrate on the matter at hand.
Beautifully said, Shelley.
I definitely dressed the part for my conference earlier this month. I felt good about how I looked and so I was less intimidated when I had to go up to someone to introduce myself. Not that the clothes gave me any more qualifications than I already felt I had to speak up, but I wasn’t worrying about whether I looked out of place or unprofessional. It was one less thing to distract me from my real goal of being there — reacquainting myself with my art and the business that goes with it.
In keeping with a few other comments, CT – it sounds like as much as anything, dressing appropriately (at your conference for example) was about eliminating potential barriers to success. Allowing the focus to be on substance.
This post is so timely for me. Since starting my family – and particularly when pregnant – I have put significantly less effort into my overall appearance. I still care a lot, but I just don’t put the time in I used to. As I count down to the arrival of my third daughter, I am excited to care again, to dress the part so to speak. I think it matters. I do.
I’ve never been one for the latest style or fashion, but do believe in neatness and utility. Not happy with folks who wander around home half the day without getting dressed. Form and function go together to make good dressing. I’ve worn the old-fashioned academic “uniform” (often Harris Tweed jackets from a nearby thrift store) for years. This is comfortable and keeps me warm (or I remove it), and it has sufficient pockets. Temperature control in my historic building (windows and steam radiators) is from the early 1900s. Hiking and backpacking is all function for me, and clothing and gear can be hi-tech. Incidentally, clothing does NOT disguise fat or being out of condition (unless you’re wearing a bag, and that’s sort of a giveaway). I kept a set of clothing from high school to wear to my 50th reunion recently. Strange that I had to point this out to folks.
p.s. Clothing does give a message, of course. When I am invited to speak publicly, I make a point of dressing for my audience in a way that will not get in the way of my message. With young people, it’s neat but casual. When it’s civil disobedience and demonstrations, dress can be business attire (for the benefit of folks who would yell “Get a job” or “Hippie” and the like).
I think faking it until you make it can work in certain arts milieu but not so when trained and of the scientific sort of skills are required (dentistry, surgery, etc.). But dressing for the part gives me a boost that I certainly don’t get from dressing schlumpy. We notice first impressions and it’s professional to try and make a good one.
The Fake It Til You Make It thing is interesting. I’m generally lazy and habitually stay in old habits of dressing, feeling, etc. But, I absolutely have found that when I expend energy on a new attitude/outfit/whatever, it truly makes a difference.
I really do think you need to dress for the part for, as you mention above, removing any barriers to potential success. As for faking it, it might get your foot in the door, but unless you produce, I certainly hope you don’t make it because that makes those that produce less valuable.
I have two or three petite-length jackets that take my neat and crisp jeans to the next level. Never felt this way until I got the petite length figured out for me. And, then the scarf or the earrings do their lifting too.
Recall that I have ridden my bike to work since 1985, most days. So, I have to strike a balance between practical and professional. I also love slim cropped pants….so bikable. And, I have three or four Laura Petrie flats that look great with these. I do not mind at all being my 5 2 self then. Otherwise, a bit of heel helps.
I can’t explain it, but when I worked from home dressing the part translated into a better day. I felt more prepared and able to tackle the day’s events. There was just a different energy present and I would like to think that dressing the part is a type of feng shui for the body.
I think I missed the boat on the stylish dressing thang. By time I got out of the military (20-yr retiree), I just didn’t care. So clean, neat, and functional works for me. But then at Microsoft, except for the marketing types (aka suits), I don’t seem to be making waves with this formula.
Married to my high school sweetie, I don’t have to dress up for dates, concerts, and the like. I did feel concerned about attending the Seattle Symphony in casual wear, but in Seattle I fit right in. Maybe I just got lucky?
I am a sucker for the little black dress thang though. That picture in your post stopped me in my tracks… very nice. I am fortunate to know a lot of ladies who would wear that dress, including my wife. :O)
You are a lucky man, Gandalfe. In so many ways. 😉