Can’t keep my hands off.
Closing my eyes, and reliving. . . everything.
Chemistry. That elusive element of sexual attraction – all the moments and threads, the knowing and not knowing, the words, the whispers, the silences.
The piercing gaze you cannot turn away from.
So many sensory experiences.
I seek that beaker full of undefinable, irrepressible, electric jolts of “something” that set off an unstoppable chain of reactions.
You know it when you feel it, and when you don’t. You know it when you see it, and when it’s missing. We all want it. Money can’t buy it. Alcohol distorts it. Love recasts it.
And there’s nothing quite like it.
You know it when you see it
Last night I watched a romantic comedy with Jennifer Lopez and… someone. But already I’ve forgotten who the leading man was.
I couldn’t get invested. Sure – she looked beautiful. And he was adorable, whoever he was. So why didn’t they work? Why was the movie a bust?
Right. No chemistry.
A standard crime caper. But I watch it every time it passes by on cable.
Is it really all pheromones? Could it be that simple?
I just don’t buy it.
But our senses certainly come into play. The sound of a voice. The curve of a hip. The grace in a gesture. The glimpse of muscle beneath a shirt that causes you to… catch your breath.
First, there is usually sight to spark its ripple effects. We know the notorious “men are visual” argument. But women are visual, too. Still, there’s more to it than that, or every pairing of beautiful people would crackle with chemistry. And they don’t.
So what about charisma? Its mix of brains, confidence, and often – humor? For some of us, smart is sexy and everything else flows from that. But what else does it take, exactly?
What about the accumulation of birthdays? Does it help? Does it hurt?
A little age and experience certainly helps you discern what you need, and what you like – whether it has to do with the attributes that attract you, or anything else. When we hit our reproductive prime, perhaps all systems are go to get us to procreation lift-off. And after? As we head into 40, then 50, and past? For some, the yearning for burning yields to a call for companions. For others, the sexual smolder remains paramount.
Recently, I received a message from a site where I’m no longer active. I can’t open messages any longer, but I popped by the other night, curious due to the man’s clever pseudonym. In his picture, he resembled my grandfather.
18 years my senior, I was staring at the face of an old man, which means, I suppose, that in 18 years I’ll be an old woman.
Nada. And nada chance.
Old is relative, chemistry is absolute?
When I was 16, I considered 25 to be old. When I was 25, I thought 40 was old. At 40, 65 seemed old. Now I deem “old” a mind set. How’s that for a touch of denial? Or perhaps – the best sort of reality?
The more rings around our trunks, the more our definition of aging changes. Not only does it stay well ahead as a moving target, but the span of years to reach it may increase as well.
So while my current age marks me as decrepit to some, and (potential) younger woman to others, it’s simply “where I find myself” as I slog through the day’s tasks. It is ultimately meaningless when it comes to chemistry, though the age issue – older men, younger women – becomes a barrier past a certain point. Certainly, for a woman who cares about passion.
And I continue to pose the question: How is it that even old men have the balls to seek women two decades younger?
Money? Funny? Sunny?
Does the answer to sexual attraction lie in the absence of its formula? It may require money and power for some, wry humor for others, or a cheerful disposition.
Whatever it is, I know it when I see it, and I know it when I feel it. As I grow older, I’m less inclined to dismiss it, and more appreciative when I sense its sizzle in the air.
- Are you a beaker seeker?
- Does sexual attraction develop as you know and trust your partner?
- Is it stronger with a stranger, or early in the relationship?
- Is chemistry absolute, or constantly evolving?
- Do signs of aging affect your sexual confidence?
- If there’s love, do you believe none of this matters?
Click still of George Clooney to access sizzling scene with Jennifer Lopez on Youtube.
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