The tale of 104-year old heiress, Huguette Clark, caught my fancy last week. Not only is this woman’s story rich with history, but it raises an extraordinary number of issues that are relevant to each of us as we deal with critical decisions in life: who to trust, minimizing family squabbling when we are gone, and very real concerns about dwindling capacities and solitude as we age.
These aren’t topics we like to think about, much less discuss. But they’re the stuff of a responsible adult life, especially when you’re a parent, and you don’t want to unduly burden your children.
Part of the fascination of the strange situation involving Huguette Clark, of course, is her colorful parentage, her remarkable 104 years, the enormous wealth – it is estimated that unoccupied homes alone are worth $200 million – not to mention the mystery that shrouds her whereabouts. The fact that the most recent known photo of her dates to 1930 adds to the exceptional nature of this story, as information coming to light about her attorney and accountant raise the level of intrigue – and concern.
The reporter who has covered this story for msnbc.com, Bill Dedman, has published an update. Apparently, a criminal investigation into the handling of Ms. Clark’s finances is underway.
This is an epic, eerie, and frightening story in its way. I will continue to follow it with interest, while reflecting on the reality that both my parents are now gone, and certainly, there were no issues over mind-boggling assets.
Nonetheless, there were considerable headaches, wrenching decisions, a tangle of paperwork and more. I can’t help but dwell on that from time to time, and I don’t wish any such dramas on my children, ever.
I’m curious –
- Regardless of your financial status, have you considered what might happen to you when you’re older and infirm?
- Are you putting off making a will or other arrangements until some (unspecified) time in the future?
- If you’re divorced, did you take care of estate planning in conjunction with the end of your marriage?
- If time has passed, have you updated your instructions as circumstances have evolved?
- Do you discount these issues if you are single, or if you have no children?
- Are you caring for an elder parent, and dealing with the ongoing cost, logistics, and emotional drain that is involved? At home, or elsewhere?
Who among us doesn’t wonder what our future may hold, as we grow older? Will we be taken advantage of, with or without the sort of assets involved in this story? Will we be cared for with some small measure of kindness?
Will we be shut away and forgotten about, despite how we may have raised our children – believing they will care for us in our elder years as we cared for them when they were young?
Thumbnail photo courtesy msnbc.com article referenced above.
© D A Wolf
Wolf, this is such an important issue. Having seen first-hand what can happen if a person fails to plan or actually plans for their death, I am trying to put everything in order.
My friend’s husband died in a freak accident but because he had a well prepared will and his financial assets in order, she and her 4 kids did not have to worry about that.
On the other hand, my aunt’s husband refused to write out a will and recently had a stroke. Because of the circumstances, his assets are frozen and she has to pay for his hospital expenses out-of-pocket.
With these two examples, I learned that a carefully arranged and thought out will is important and necessary to have no matter how old you are. My husband and I have no assets, technically, but we do have two (almost 3) small children. Our biggest worry right now is who do we select to raise them in case we die? We have high standards and want our children reared in a setting that closely resembles our own home–religion, parenting, and financial security. Unfortunately, neither of our families have these key characteristics. As harsh as it sounds, we would prefer them to go to a friend whom we trust dearly rather than family members who we are unsure of. A dilemma that we still haven’t figured out.
Thank you for your input, Amber. These are difficult discussions when we are in couples, and equally difficult when we’re on our own.
The dilemma you mention – relative to who raises the children in the worst possible case – is one of the reasons that many don’t deal with this issue, in my opinion. And I understand. It was only when divorcing that I spelled out my wishes, as custodial parent, in the event that both parents were no longer alive. And my choice was for the couple whom I thought would raise my sons most closely to the way I would, while respecting the diversity of their lineage – family in Europe, and so on. Very tough decisions. But so important.
Good post. Small correction: Not MSNBC, but msnbc.com. (Separate companies.)
Thank you, Abe. Important correction. (Fixed.)
I think it is highly important to have a will, medical directive, and living trust regardless of your status (married or single with or without children). For my husband and I, we wanted to designate a guardian for our daughter so we had a will devised. Others might want to assign sentimental items to certain people or disclaim others from claiming an interest in the estate. A will allows you to make those decisions in writing and most importantly offers some certainty that your wishes will be carried out.
I’ve been fascinated, too, by this very story. The levels and layers of family and wealth and dysfunction are irresistible. In our own family, there have been wills that were questioned, family squabbles, etc. Which has prompted my husband and I to have a clear, thought out plan for our (meager) assets. But you bring up changing a will as life changes? We haven’t updated ours in about 8 years and we have two small boys added to our family since then. Big oops.
I hadn’t heard this story, but now I’m hooked. Fascinating!
Both the mountain man and I have a will that includes how our finances will be handled and who should raise our children. I drew one up when I first adopted our son and then he followed suit when we got married. I think it’s the most important part of marriage and parenting. I don’t know how I’d feel if I didn’t have kids.
I don’t know why wills are such a touchy subject. Oh wait, you have to talk about death and money, both taboo. I need to get myself in order. As a kid of aging parents, I kind of hate the times we sit to discuss the wills… yucky thoughts… but I really appreciate knowing that things have been put in order. (My family is not wealthy, but there are things that make it complex. I’ll leave it at that.)
You hit on key points, Kate. These are painful, emotional, difficult subjects to think about much less talk about – for many. And as you said, it doesn’t take money to make a situation complex.
I have not heard of this heiress or her story but am now as intrigued as you.
I have been a single mother now for the past 14 years. Although I have had a retirement account building since I was 20 It never occurred to me to get any life insurance or write a will. Because the father of my three children lives 2000 miles away and is hardly in their lives, it is important they are taken care of.
I wrote my first draft of a will explaining my wishes on guardianship when my daughter asked me at age 9, ‘If you died mommy, would we have to live with daddy?’.
My parents have done well in creating an estate both financially and otherwise for my sister and I.
It really put into perspective the fact that I am the one who is responsible for their well being- before and after death. no one else.
Great post.
Thanks for making me think today…
Thank you for this post, great read and now I have things to consider and put in place.
Knowing that my will, living trust and other such matters are in order are a comfort to me. Ironically, Sylvia and I just talked about what would happen to the girls if I died, and she’s in agreement with the decisions that have already been made. I most wanted my divorce finalized so that I could take care of such matters.