There’s nothing quite like it. Having family around, especially when you’ve been apart for some time. It doesn’t matter what your family looks like – nuclear, extended, blended – large or small. Those you love – happy and well – that’s as good as it gets.
Dinner for three
“I know it was hard,” I said.
My younger son was safely home after a long day of traveling, and his six-week summer program, completed. He and his brother were laughing together, and I was putting dinner on the table. London Broil and waffle fries, which they adore. Lemon cake, for dessert. The last time we’d had a meal together – all three of us – was four months ago.
“Tell me, please. Other than hard, how was it?” I asked.
“It was the best thing I’ve ever done,” he said.
“Really?”
“It was friggin’ awesome.”
What parent wouldn’t be happy hearing those words? What single parent, especially, wouldn’t be thrilled to have her two sons home together, inhaling dinner as though they hadn’t eaten in weeks, and enjoying each others’ company? At least – for the moment?
Happy kids, happy mom
More than anything, don’t we want our children happy?
I genuinely wanted to know how it went. If it was worth it. The nagging. The drama. The worry. The money. It took moving mountains to make this happen.
I expected the program would open doors, and expose him to a more competitive environment, and other creative kids. I hoped a large university would help him grow. What I didn’t know until last night is that my son loved the experience.
Friends, futures
Can a parent ever really know what’s best for a child?
I haven’t gotten the full story as yet, and I imagine a few tales will trickle in when my son is ready. I do know he’s invited a new friend to stay with us, when he comes to the area this fall. The Latvian Guest Suite will continue to get good use from a variety of teens.
As for the rest, I know my kid is about to be swamped with a sizable workload, the pressures of more SATs, and college applications. My job? I’ll be plunging into scholarship search mode, with a vengeance.
For now, whatever comes next, I have the pleasure of last night, and the knowledge that this time, my insistence on reaching for something seemingly impossible was exactly the right thing. For my son.
I enjoyed this piece a lot. I find now that I am a single mom too that those moments of togetherness with you and the kids seem even more precious, maybe because for me they don’t happen every night now that we share custody of the kids. But I also find, contrary to what I thought, that having the kids to myself is much more enjoyable than it was for the four of us to be together. We sound really good as a trio.
Thanks for sharing!
Sometimes, it’s the simplest things. Just being together, everyone relaxed. Without fanfare.
I picked up the girls at my parents’ house today from their week vacation and as we were driving home, Sylvia said, “I can’t wait to get home.” Riley said, “I was home as soon as I saw Mommy.” What more could I want to hear?
Oh April, what an incredible remark. That’s the good stuff.
Oh that is so awesome!! it is wonderful that he took the risk, stepped out, and loved it!!
My daughter ran to me Friday afternoon with tears streaming down her face sad that her theater camp was over and yet already planning for next summer. I found the camp, I suggested she go, and yet I wasn’t sure she would like it or open herself up to allowing herself to learn or to shine especially given she knew no one else there and the 1.5 hour commute required. But she did – she did it all on her own – and she loved it. She also proved to be the foundation of several of her classes – keeping the classes going with energy and enthusiasm.
But we don’t always know what it best – I spent nine years not moving and working hard to try and give that same child her father only to find, within the last year – that I could never give her something like that. Not only was it his choice to do it but he didn’t want to be her dad (and doesn’t) badly enough to make it happen. So I made choice to give her a man that never wanted her… and now I am faced with attempting to minimize the time while maximizing the benefit she has from her time in his house where she is viewed as his “mistake.”
Live and learn – and realize that we do what we believe is best at the time…
Wolfie,
I know how hard you worked to make this happen. So proud of you both. Really.
I am sure you will find out bits and pieces as the time goes by. I just let a neighbor that my youngest does chores for that he is done with his summer camp job. She regaled me with stories of how he is really coming into his own. Her middle daughter is the same age as my oldest and her youngest the same age as my twins so we have known each other for some time.
It is good to know that our children make the most of what we work our butts off to give them. Now, as the ex is taking #6 to get his learner’s permit on Tuesday, I am off to buy stock in a hair color company. LOL! 🙂
Oh yes, on the hair coloring when they start to drive…
My daughter comes home tomorrow after four days away and I can’t wait to see her smiling face at the kitchen table. I know you and your son are gearing up for another hectic year, and I’m glad he had such a fantastic experience to boost him into the busyness. He’s lucky to have you (and for so many more reasons than your waffle-fry-making skills). =>
Nice to picture you all together treasuring sublime moments.
We never really know for sure if we’re doing the right thing; we just give ’em love and support, and hope for the best.
Sometimes, it works!
I know you moved mountains to make it happen and so glad it was more than worth it. Enjoy those special moments of togetherness…I know you will. Blessings to you today.
Isn’t it great when all the hard work pays off? So glad you’ve got your boys home and that you’re enjoying the time together. And you’ve got me hungry for beef and waffle fries! (PS – we didn’t watch MM last night so I skipped today’s post. Will come back and comment once we’ve watched the episode.)
When my girls were little, I volunteered much of my free time (and more) for a mother-to-mother breastfeeding support organization. In my mind, I kept thinking that once they were “older” I would be able to start my career, etc.
Now they are older, about to start college and junior year of high school. The moments are going by too fast. Our family dinners are more precious than ever.
How I wish, back then, I’d stopped looking too far forward that I failed to properly relish the beautiful moments right in front of me.
I’m astonished at how “full time” full time mothering still is, even as they grow older. Of course, doing it solo adds plenty of pressure – financially, logistically, physically, emotionally. And I mean solo, not with a shared arrangement. Still, I would’ve thought the constancy of the workload and worry would’ve trailed off. And really, it doesn’t. It changes, but it doesn’t trail off.
Granted, for my son who is in college out of state, when he’s home (as he is now), it’s one thing, and when he’s in school, quite another. For my younger – with one more year to go, I’m just hoping I have the stamina and skill to assist him in the ways he needs. It ain’t easy! And making that school lunch early this morning was no fun! But it is wonderful to have both boys here, together, even briefly. And I’ll admit, I’m thoroughly worn out from all these years of parenting alone. Yet even so, the thought of both of them being gone is almost more than I can bear. Even these moments are very precious. They all are, Andrea.
That’s great. Kids thrive and grow when they are given new opportunities. Sounds like you gave him a great experience. And London Broil sounds really good right now!
I love this! Proof positive that there is so much right in this world.
London broil and waffle fries?! Yumm!
This is such an uplifting, affirming story. Yes, it was incredibly hard. Not only for your youngest but for all of you, finding a way to make it possible. But more importantly, it was inspiring and challenging for him. Hopefully that energy will carry him through the year ahead with SATs and scholarship applications. He’s seen a glimpse of something great, and can use that as fuel to get to the next step in his young life.
I love this story. I remember my own parents staying up with me late at night, brewing a cup of coffee, so that I could finish my college applications.
Glad you got to treasure this moment.
You’ve given him an experience he’ll treasure for his entire life, no matter what else comes his way. And, along the way, he’s watching you make things happen all by yourself. You’re giving him a legacy of self-sustainability and passion and hard work. Brava!
I really enjoyed this. Moments with all the kids together once they’re older can be difficult to come by. But all the more sweet as a result. I’m so glad your son loved his summer experience. My 16 year old went on some leadership w/e last spring and it was the same thing; we thought it would be a good experience, look great on her college resume, blah blah. Then she came home and said the experience had changed her life. Wow, didn’t expect that.
I love that your daughter had a similar experience, Maureen. We do our best to pave the way for opportunities they’ve earned, but we don’t really know if it’s the right thing. When it is, it’s very sweet indeed.