No good sex, or sex no good?

Are love and sex ever out of style?

Hardly.

Nor do they cease to seize our attention. And that was certainly the case for me in two articles I read this week. The first appeared a few days ago, offering tips to combat aging, and the second was on yahoo this morning – an interpretation of recent data on the frequency with which older Americans indulge, and their level of satisfaction.

As for the gist of remaining youthful, via exuberant expressions of amour? And new insights into the monogamous mystique and the maturing physique?

Sizzling or sagging?

Whether you’re 30 and going strong, 40 and seeing those early signs of aging, or 70+ and still in the mood – apparently, the answer is to get some good loving!

More specifically?

MSNBC nabbed my attention with tidy tips to stave off the acrimonious angst of aging. Being a no-surgery kind of gal, and eager to retrieve levels of energy formerly within my grasp, I thought I’d sneak a peek at the tidbits awaiting in this set of 9 harmless habits that will age you.

One item in particular put a frown on my face:

You can’t remember the last time you had sex

Yep, sex feels good and does wonders for your mood, but it’s also fantastically great for your health. Research shows that people with active sex lives have stronger immune systems, less pain, a lower cancer risk, healthier hearts, and less stress. The best news: It can even make you look younger — up to 12 years, a study shows.

Ironically, this item was slotted as number 9 of 9. Guys – are you kidding me? You should have posted it at the top of the list, or at least given it the we-try-harder number two slot! Who doesn’t sit up and take notice at this one – whether it’s been a few months of single dalliance drought, or the unspoken reality of most marriages, boredom or kids kicking connubial bliss to the back burner?

The article goes on to note:

Rekindle the romance between you and your partner. To shake things up, try making the first move next time. “Some women are not active participants in their sex lives,” says Pat Covalt, PhD, author of What Smart Couples Know. “A lot of men would like to be touched more, seduced more. Everyone wants to feel wanted.”

Rekindling intimacy

I’m all for rekindling, but with as many of us “out here” without permanent partners, we need some wood for the hearth first, don’t we? Then some kindling. And while we’re at it, oh Gurus of the Pop Culture Quick Fix, preferably with pertinent preparation to fire us up for the brightly burning flame!

Seriously – don’t we all know this stuff? If not reminded by so-called scientists in the media, then by virtue of post-coital smiling like a simpleton, or humming to housework?

As for the rest of the items on the list – daily veggies, more sleep, reduced stress, walk rather than drive – yes, yes, yes. We know. We try. But that Number Nine? Followed by a link to liberate libido and churn up the volume on desire? Isn’t that throwing salt on the wound? Or are these news sources in cahoots with the relationship sites?

Satisfaction: casualty of the recession

The role of getting some (or not) in the lives of our maturing citizens was interpreted in an article I read this morning, released through the Associated Press, and based on AARP survey results. (For you young’uns, that’s American Association of Retired People, um, if my memory serves.) The reported research suggests less satisfying sex among seniors – not for lack of wanting it or getting it – but due to our recessionary economy and money worries.

Captivating coupling cut short by failed finances?

It’s an interesting hypothesis, and I think it has merit. Pitiful profits could provoke Prozac popping, and subsequent plummeting performance in the realm of most personal pleasures. My, my, my. So is any sex good, even if it isn’t good sex? And how to untangle the linkages of economic and boudoir woes? Is it purely stress, the damning dilemma of SSRIs or issues-a-plenty that have yet to be considered?

Additional elements in the pleasure puzzle?

What about the findings in this research suggesting that older Americans are less wed to monogamy than they were 10 years ago, and willing to go outside their marriages for recreational (age-reducing) activities?

What role does divorce play in all this, including an abundance of (hot) unattached mamas? What about the tendency for older men to seek (and get) younger women – leading with a fat wallet, if not an ample supply of little blue pills?

Of course, another factor cited in reduced occasions of intimacy – health issues. However, if we follow the tips in the first article (more sex = better health), isn’t that a bit of a conundrum? More sex for better health, and better health for more sex?

What if it’s as simple as insufficient funds to spring for a good Bordeaux? Haven’t the French shown us that wine is the secret to a flourishing sex life?

• Has your intimate life been hit by the recession?
• Once the kiddos are out of the house, do things heat up?
• If libido is linked to idealism, and economic enthusiasm continues to lag, are we all bound to age badly?
• Does recessionary rancor explain the shortage of available men in the 45+ age bracket?
• Must I really read these articles before a weekend, as a sensual single woman who isn’t dead yet?

© D A Wolf
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