You know those days when you just can’t get things to work the way you want? As if the finest particles of brain will only taunt you with their spark? I’m having one of those days. I feel its mark. I had one yesterday, too. It leaves me blue. I wonder what it is about the way we sleep (or don’t), the way we eat (or don’t), the way emotions sneak up and offer a reveal (or don’t) that tinkers with our zeal, our productive beat, our progress through the day.
What do you think? Might I slink into a slant and syncopated rhyme here and there as if a means to care for my weary mind? To just ignore the daily (crazy) grind? Ever have those days? Not a disaster, not a drama, but they just don’t work. And it’s still early! Too early in the day to be a jerk, to shirk the tasks I’ve noted on my Thursday list!
My dilemma: I’m persistent, stubborn even, always anxious for a fight against an obstacle that stands in my way — just like today — and somehow, this is my odd (defiant?) morning mood. (Can I sit and brood?) Although I’m a believer (and practitioner) of try, try again, when it fails to serve I find myself unnerved. Much as I hate to admit, what I’m really doing today is banging my head against a wall, over and over, and I need to stop. Perhaps I ought to flop on the couch with a book, a look through Vogue, an episode of Outlander (and Jamie’s brogue), or other amusement to distract and unwind.
I need to take a break, give myself a break, a few hours off for the mind, a step back from “must-do” tasks I broached before the sun was up.
Besides, my cup of coffee has grown cold. Perhaps that’s a sign! I need to stop thinking, stop wrestling after hours of getting nowhere, allow my thoughts to play so they will light with possibility again. But when?
I just don’t know. Maybe I need to make some breakfast. A breakfast of champions. A tasty quiche! (I have a beauty in the fridge.) More coffee! (It always makes me smile.) Fresh fruit! (I nabbed some berries, organic, at the market the other day.)
Maybe a meal will do the trick. Am I just hungry, or rather, hangry? Is that the reason why it’s one of those days?
Do you ever wake up irked for no reason, and want to fly away?
That’s me. Today. Unable to get done (thus far) whatever I try. More irritated as the minutes pass. (My day starts verrrrrry early, so we’re already talking many hours of grumbling, growling, groaning and moaning at myself and my erstwhile errant efforts at completing tasks.)
I know, I know, there are good days and bad days. I’ve had too many of the latter (as you’ve surmised in recent weeks). But it isn’t even that today is a bad day… I mean… get this… hooray! My right hand is much better, the sun is shining outside, one of my favorite cutie-pie plants has decided to sprout gorgeous delicate curling tendrils — I’m thrilled! I’m surprised! I could shout with pleasure! (This is very new and exciting and a first. My thirst for greenery is stymied by the absence of a green thumb.)
“Come, come,” I tell myself. “All is fine!” Even my back is feeling better today, an amazing fact and a story for another time.
But here’s my beef and source of grief: For hours now, I’ve been incapable of corraling my words or arranging my sentences smartly on a draft I’ve been sweating over. I’ve been stalling on a planning document (for myself) that I hoped would come together quickly. And I’ve been pouting over my hands, one of which is much improved, but nonetheless too weak to undo the back-end of a water filtering contraption on my kitchen tap that is in need of a replacement filter. (My son installed it, I adore him for it, it’s fabulous, but it’s assembled so tightly that the filter loading part can’t be removed!)
And then there is my hair — an overlong, tangled, wild mess… a source of grooming stress! It’s definitely a bad hair day, and no, not because of gray! (Gray? Moi? Would I ever ‘fess up to that?) But even after washing my hair an hour ago to return it to a preferred (and presentable?) state, let’s just say, it ain’t great…
And finally, there’s this. A potential source of bliss. Can’t help it. Call it an addiction, an obsession, and you will recognize this confession — an amorous appreciation for the sensual, sculptural, splendiforous stiletto form… I could so warm to the most recent display of fantabulous footwear I ran across online… I’m just crazy over the current collection of Manolos — oh. so. sublime.
And no, there are no Blahniks in my closet of tootsie-tantalizing treasure. That pleasure is yet to be mine. And no, I don’t live in 4″ heels or even 3″ heels as I once did. Oh, the sight! The lovely curve of calf to ankle and a touch of cleavage near the toes! (A certain type of man just knows how sexy this is.)
And yes, I would rather have Manolos than Louboutins or Choos. Not a one of these masters of scrumptious shoes can be found within my real-world sight! (Perhaps the reason for my morning ineptitude? My morning blues? I know, right?)
What can I say? For years I’ve yearned for the BB Suede or Leather Pointy Toe Pump… “someday” is what I’ve always told myself. And though I would now opt for 70MM rather than 90MM, I can so imagine the sweet slippage of my foot inside a Blahnik beauty… ah… delight.
In fact, this season’s “slides” are delicious, a paradise of styles that fill me with desire. One, in particular is torturing me. It’s even on sale and Manolos are never on sale. It’s the sweetest silk polka dot mule and oh! Perhaps I could just not eat for a month or two or three to be able to justify its price?
And maybe, just maybe, EVERY morning task would come more easily with my tootsies indulging in this elegant chaussure. Could I ever abjure, disclaim, deny or otherwise reject my fulsome love of Manolo’s designs? Could I endure “one of those days” transformed for the better were I able to give myself such an extravagant source of pretty pride as to purchase a pair of these shoes?
Sigh.
A second slice of quiche will have to do.
What do you do when it’s one of those days? When everything you try — nothing terribly unusual, mind you — just refuses to click? When you feel sick with annoyance at yourself and just can’t get things done? Barely a one?Anything to suggest other than a bite of breakfast, a break for the brain, some other odd means to return to a sane semblance of your usual best? Anyone else having a bad hair day — literally or figuratively? A day when you can’t seem to shine? Anyone else craving “objects of desire” they can’t afford? Good Lord… those slides are so divine…
Image of beautiful Manolo Blahnik shoe courtesy Saks Fifth Avenue. Click here to see Manolo Magic for yourself!
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Sounds like you just did what I do – needed to vent. You (I) know the routine, this will pass, blah blah blah, sometimes the motor just needs a jump – venting sometimes helps.
Ok shoes? Chloe cutout open toe bootie. I’ve been pondering over since fall 2018 – Can I afford them? Yes Then what’s my problem. Maybe an age thing, Is it absurd to spend that much on a shoe I may not be able to walk a few blocks in? Well that’s why I haven’t rushed to try them on- it will be a disappointment if they don’t feel comfortable. Maybe I’ll be real lucky and my size will no longer be available. That would put an end to that misery.
Ok. Chuckling. Now I have to check out those booties. (Love booties!) Meanwhile, I did indulge over the weekend. DSW. (Low guilt.) Calvin Kleins I’ve been stalking. Great price, ordered online, just arrived — fabulous! (I’ll try to post something on Instagram. Thank goodness for DSW!! How else could an addict on a budget survive?)
Now about that issue of being able to walk more than a few blocks, um… yep. I never used to have that problem, but in the past year, definitely.
I start in the middle. Sometimes starting at the beginning is too daunting, so I just do some little thing to get momentum going. It works especially well for writing–I can’t think of a brilliant introduction, so I skip to the explanation part, and usually I find the words to create a good beginning along the way.
Meanwhile, I’ve nominated you for a Sunshine Blogger Award. Your blog always makes me smile AND think. Go to my blog for details, and I hope you can think of a few others to nominate yourself, to spread the sunshine.
You make me smile. And excellent suggestion on going to the middle, by the way.
Shoes don’t do it for me at all. Too depressing because I am such a difficult fit…. verrry narrow. I cannot wear any of those slides, two steps and I’d throw a shoe as my step-father used to say about his horses. Ha. The same with most sandals. I used to love high heels, still love the look. But somehow I wear sneakers most of the time now.
But haircuts are a different matter… a new haircut always cheers me up. Freshly shorn bangs, crisply trimmed back and sides, fresh colour (I am NOT letting the grey takeover yet) ….sigh.
Buy the shoes, eat the quiche… that’s your new mantra, my friend. xo
Heh… I’m not planning on throwing any shoes (chuckling), and unfortunately – or as a result of basic sanity? — $700 shoes are not now, never have been, and never will be a part of my budget! On the other hand, I picked up a super cute and comfy pair of mid-heel slides at DSW purchased online. (Just hop over to Instagram and you will see them!) While they may not be Manolo‘s, they were more than sufficient to put a smile on my face, of the sort I imagine of a nice pretty new haircut.
For the shoe addicts: Take a look at 6pm.com for great prices on many brands. I have a closet overflowing with shoes because of this website.
Taking a walk often clears my head and gives me a fresh start on bad days, especially those where to much thinking overrules our best intentions.
Ahhh… I just got sucked into the Saks site. Sigh. Can’t Target knock those shoes off? 😉 Some days it just doesn’t ‘click’. I try to let them roll. The more I fight, the harder it gets! Just gotta put my swimmies on and float to shore!
With you, suzette … on all your points!